Get labored! Actually, don’t. I know it’s labor day, but I think the hidden meaning behind it is, “dooo noooothing todaaaaay.” And by nothing, I’m pretty sure it excludes the following: * drinking lots of hot coffee. * finishing Fifty Shades of MY EYES. MY EEEEYES. * flipping through the pages of the 45 trillion […]
Uhhhhh yeah. That would be fig butter all over this thing. But before we begin, is it bad form to want to offer a hurricane a drink? Isaac is going to be here shortly and I’m so excited I’m putting on dang mascara. Fig butter. Doesn’t it sound so Downton Abbey or something? “Me Lady, […]
It’s all about the rind, n’est pas? I have no idea why I threw a little Francais into that sentence. This isn’t even a French soup. Let me start over. It’s all about the rind, I MEAN RIGHT, YOU GUYS? Yeah, that was just straight up obnoxious boulevard. Question: Do you freeze your cheese rinds? […]
(to be sung to the theme of the Brady Bunch. ahem.) Here’s the story of a grilled cheese sandwich. Who was bored of simply being on her own. She’d been grilled and grilled and grilled, like the others. Yet she felt all alone. Here’s the story, of some almond butter. And some apple slices, carrot […]
You want to cradle them, don’t you? I’ll tell you what, my mouth cradled about 50 of them at one time like a bowling alley does with its pins. And you should know, I plan on making SENSE in my next life. Today it’s all about the back to schools. Not that mini cheeseburgers have […]
Why yes there is a giant bite missing from that one bottom right piece. Oops? Okay, I have a few things to say. Does that make you nervous? 1) Um, t-h-a-n-k-y-e-w-a-l-l for the sweet and awesome well wishes on my b-day last week! Social media sure does know how to make a gal feel eempartunt. […]
Eeeez mah beeeerrrthday! And okay. I totally baked a chocolate pie and was so excited to share it with you today, buuuut yeaaaaaah. My meringue was more like ma-WRONG and my pie filling was more like puddin’. Which actually worked out because I found two small garden trowels in the garage, duct taped them to my […]
Totally unexpected. Dill weed pesto = my new jam. I had no idea the glory that would unfold within the lining of my mouth when I placed but a single fingertip of this inside it. And it was such a random, last minute decision, combining toasted pecans with garlic, cheese, olive oil and dill weed. […]
Boil, baby, boil! So this is funny. When I was a little kid I used to think people were saying shrimp bRoil. And I’d be like, “I can’t wait for the shrimp broil!” And everyone would say, “It’s BOIL. Like boiling it in hot water.” Me, “Right! Broil. It’s gonna be so yumm” – “BOOOOIL.” […]
Oh no we di’iiiint! Surprise, Jenny! I made you eggs. Get it? Like, the eggs in your uterus that became a human? AND they’re deviled, since you’re having a boy human. I MEAN RIGHT? Ya know, I’m really diggin’ on the idea of a virtual baby shower like this, because it eliminates the possibility of […]
