Archive | Friday Flotsam

Friday Flotsam

friday flotsam / bev cooks

FRRRRRRRR a h d a h! Okay be honest, who here buys those trash bucket grocery store romance novels? You know, the ones where the ladies are ALWAYS in some velvet Victorian dress draping dramatically off her shoulders revealing lacy cleavage as she leans into shirtless Fabio clones holding a spear or boat rope? And […]

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Friday Flotsam

cheese plate / bev cooks

Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrimay! yay. say. ray. jay. day. I’ve started sleeping in a hat. You can rub your eyes, spray your glasses and squint to sea, but those are the actual words you read. It’s not like a top hat, you guys. Or a fedora or a bucket hat or a visor or my leopard print beret. […]

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Friday Flotsam

pine tree / bev cooks

FRRRRRRRRRRRRR2468whodoyouappreciateday! (<–not really) Wait, is pantyhose back? Did pantyhose come back in style and I completely missed the announcement? When did this happen and can you forward it to me? The other day in my GirlSquad text thread with a bunch of long-time gal pals who once lived in the same college town in Northwest […]

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Friday Flotsam

vine and mirror / bev cooks

Frrrrrrrrrrit’s my birthday on Sunday! But we’ll get to that. I have a question for you. You’re like, “Hold on let me get my coffee. And Xanax.” I saw something recently about how it’s no longer okay to say “hey, guys.” Like, to call a group of people, women and men collectively as guys. I […]

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Friday Flotsam

feet and plants / bev cooks

FFFFFFFFFmastotf! Who even NAMES these hurricanes? And why aren’t we getting more. . . creative? It’s like an opportunity dangling right in front of whatever round table at the World Meteorological Association and poof . . . dust. I know they go alphabetically, back and forth between male and female names, isn’t that right? But […]

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Friday Flotsam

hoya / bev cooks

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAArudeelaadooday. What do we think about, “I love me some ____.”? Like when people say the words “love me some” in relation to things in this world and life. I find myself actually saying that phrase from time to time, and then I cringe and think, “I can’t be someone who says that phrase”. And […]

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Friday Flotsam

black eyed susans / bev cooks

Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroydoy. Why do you think we say “smart cookie?” “Oh, she’s a smart cookie. She’ll go far.” Smart cookie? I don’t feel like cookies are the smartest of treats. Correct me if I’m wrong (I’m no baker), but aren’t they among the simplest of desserts? What’s so smart about a cookie? What about, “Oh, she’s […]

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Friday Flotsam

succulent / bev cooks

FfFfFrRrRiIiIdDdDaAaAyYyY. (that was hard.) I drank dish water and found raw chicken left in the car overnight, HOW HAS YOUR WEEK BEEN? Really. I found my coffee cup in the sink (“Wait, did I put this here? I must have.), picked it up and took a big gulp. (“Why is this is so watery and […]

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Friday Flotsam

garden flowers / bev cooks

Fffffffffru du a y ee oo! Okay, do we know what Seth Phillips looks like without sunglasses? Has anyone ever seen a photo of him without his iconic shades? Because we need to know what those peepers got. You’re like, “Who the wonk is Seth Phillips?” He’s Dude with Sign! You know, the beachy/hipster youngin’ […]

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Friday Flotsam

patio hang / bev cooks

FRRRRRRRRRRRRRhi! Guys, I feel sorry for Karens. Not Karens Karens. They make me laugh/cringe. But real Karens. Actual Karens. Birth certificate Karens. Also, HOW DID THIS COME TO BE? First of all, I know two girls named Karen. Not currently, but I knew them in high school. And I always wonder, are . . . […]

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