Let’s go on a picnic! Not a tree picnic, seeeleeeee. Basically, this is the deal. We have probably 3 1/2 hours left of stunning autumn weather before it turns icy and cold and miserable and abominable snowmany. (Which, can I just say, I used to call it “abdominal” a long time ago. And by “long […]
(to be sung to the theme of the Brady Bunch. ahem.) Here’s the story of a grilled cheese sandwich. Who was bored of simply being on her own. She’d been grilled and grilled and grilled, like the others. Yet she felt all alone. Here’s the story, of some almond butter. And some apple slices, carrot […]
I heard a weather report not long ago that offered some pretty strong advice for how to handle these insane drought conditions. I did. Yeah, the guy basically said the only solution right now for this national crisis is massive consumption of loaded Italian chicken sub sandwiches. But he laid it out very simply, so […]
Shooooooot, y’all. It’s double doozy doozer day. Oh my gosh do you remember the old show from 1986 on Nickelodeon called Double Dare?! Where the kids had to run through those cray obstacle courses and they’d get green slime dumped on them! And Marc Summers was the host?! I SOOO-OHOHOH-OH had a crush on Marc. […]
Our garden is already absolutely insane. Just look at this. It might not look like much to the naked eye, but I can assure you, it’s pretty tow up. And oops, in need of weeding. This isn’t even the entire thing! We have little beds along most of the fences. Of tomatoes. Of course. Each […]
How you doin’? It would not be a spit’s length away from a lie to say I’ve watched Friends every single day for the past 18 years since its original air date in the fall of 1994. I was fresh out of high school and starting my first semester in college, experiencing a confusing phase […]
Whoa there, beefy mcbeeferpants! I didn’t mean to post two beef-a-roo (or is it beef-a-MOO? OHHHHH) recipes two days in a row. Maybe I’m low on iron? Maybe a message was subliminally sent to me in cloud formation from the sky? Maybe I’m still sad that Elise got sent home on American Idol but relieved […]
I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be British. English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, SOMETHING with a cool accent that makes me feel smart. I know this to be true because we’re in Downton Abbey overdrive and closing in on season two and things were so cray cray back then! I want to hear Lord Grantham […]
There are two imperatively crucial subject matters that I must exclaim to all the lands right now. 1) Asian chicken burgers rule my face. 2) Steam from a tea pot burns the skin like a mother. Let’s start with the first subject matter. Has your mouth experienced an Asian chicken burger before? Guess how many […]
Panini, panino. Plablini, plablino. Let’s call the whole thing off. Guess who’s late to the “getting the actual word right” party? Yeppers. But it’s not my fault! I couldn’t find a cab and it was raining and blah blah BLAH. I’m not kidding when I say that not even 200 days ago, I didn’t know […]
