I’ve been waiting 259,217 entire seconds to show you this. What, I DID THE MATH. But first: what did you think of the season premiere of New Girl? I give it a B. I mean I LIKED it, but I wasn’t howling and licking the screen like usual. Don’t wooooorry, I Windex the screen before […]
I think we should cover Monday in a cream sauce. Matter of fact, did you hear that in Uzbekistan, the translation for Monday is in fact “cream sauce?” Yeah, it’s a relatively new thing so don’t try to look it up just yet. But the trickster hook is that this cream sauce isn’t just a […]
Call me Short-Cut Sally, but this here sauce is about to change.your.game. I really don’t think I can talk about anything else today besides this sauce. You’re welcome? Thing is, in my head the sauce was going to have much more going on in it. I had all these plans! These layers! These sauce ambitions! […]
I think every Monday needs to start with pasta. Actually, I think every day needs to start with pasta, but that’s an issue I should address on my own. In a locked bathroom. With a bowl of pasta. So this here lil’ ditty is yet another Aaron creation. AH KNOOOOW, AH KNOOOOW. Get off my […]
I recently read in an ancient Indian manuscript that the word Friday actually translates to “creamy.” Freaking sweet, right? But don’t ask me to show you the manuscript because right after I read it, I spilled some water on it and it’s at the . . . manuscript repair . . . store. For probably […]
O Rigaromeo, Rigaromeo, wherefore art thou Rigaromeo? Deny thy flavor and refuse thy taste? Or if thou wilt not, but be sworn my appetite. And I’ll no longer be starving. (Rigaromeo, aside:) Shall I cook more, or shall I tempt at this? ‘Tis but thy make that is my enemy. Thou art thyself, […]
Since the stupid stubborn snow refuses to melt, me thinks the clear solution is creamy potato soup. Look, I don’t want to get all annoyingly weather-obsessed on ya, but I’ve taken a peepsie into the long ranger forecast and me thinks we’re bound for some serious melting. Me also thinks that it’s probably the grossest […]
Jar in the face! I cannot begin to describe how much snow we’re getting right now. It’s like I’m stuck inside Santa Claus’s beard. Lost in a maze of copy paper. Tangled in a never ending plush white bathrobe. A FLEA ON A FOUR HUNDRED BILLION SQUARE FOOT PERSIAN CAT. It’s CTTTC. Which stands for […]
I can’t decide if I want to tell you what’s in this or not. Just like I can’t decide if I want to tell you about a fake eyelash that’s been stuck to my eye since Saturday night but I’m afraid to pull it off because I’m scared it’s going to rip out my real […]
Where there’s a shell, there’s a sway. You know like, once you realize there are shells involved in mouthal consumption activity, you sway that way? Like, towards the shells and away from say, regular pasta or a sandwich? You sway towards the shells? The shells in which you sway towards? The shell swaying? Oh! Let’s […]
