Hear that? Yeah that’s the sound of your New Year’s resolution being flushed down the toilet. Isn’t it wonderful? If I had any say at all in this mess we call life, I’d vote for resolutions beginning in the spring, when things are all bloomy and pretty outside. Not when the entire world is frozen […]
Brothers and sisters, come together. I’m just kidding! What if I was like that? Calling you brothers and sistersshshsahhahahaaaaa! Or, or! Let us join together on this glorious day in a web of sparkly concord and tranquility as we discover new horizons of the human soul. ORRRR, wait, omg. In a single breath of harmony, […]
Issues. We have issues. Now that I’m completely caught up on Parenthood (which, ya know I just gotta tell ya [channeling Zeek right there], I’m now experiencing this DARK EMPTY VOID OF LONELINESS AND DESPAIR. Sure I have ceiling fans to clean and book shelves to dust, yawn. But I miss it! I know it […]
If you ask me, there’s a rumble of mighty confusion among the lands. And by lands, I mean my noggin. You know what, I’m just going to ask you. I asked the Google, but it only led me down a path of befuddlement and flask shopping. What’s the stinkin’ difference between manicotti and cannelloni? They’re […]
Can you even begin to believe it’s Friday? It doesn’t feel like Friday. I don’t know what day it feels like, but certainly not Friday. Maybe Wednesday, since the world went back to work two days ago? Actually, I know a lot of people who went back yesterday, so it might feel like a Tuesday. […]
Yeah we need to talk. First of all, Parenthood. OOOOMMMMGGGmyachybreakyheart. I’m not completely caught up, but I’m in the current season. Well, I’m only fifteen minutes into the current season because Hulu decided to get all jankidy jank on me last night. But by the looks of things, I’m due for a colossal breakdown riiiiight […]
J’eat your black-eyed peas yesterday? I sure hope you took ’em down like barbarians because I don’t even wanna know what happened come sunrise today. DANGER LURKS, YOU GUYS. It lurks. Now that we’re all getting back into the grind, finding our groove, getting back into the groove and finding our grind, I felt it […]
Weeeeell would ya look at that. The world didn’t blow up! Oh wait that was 13 years ago. And then two weeks ago. And okay, pretty much every morning if we really want to babysit my neurosis. Alright let’s just get down to this. Are you big on tradition? And the ancient folklore of the […]
It’s the end of the year as we know it. It’s the end of the year as we know it. It’s. The. End of the year as we know it, and IIII feeeeel faaaaaaaaat. We made it! Another year under our belts, another 1,095 meals, well, under our belts. Isn’t it tow to the cray […]
Ow me lawd. Okay I need a cleanse. I’m done with the holidays. I’m rusting over. I’m corroding in my veins. I’m eroding in my lymph nodes. I’m oxidizing. I’m fossilizing. I’m homogenizing. And you’re grossed out right now. I forget just how much of an old lady I am, drinking my little tea and […]
