JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAAAAY. I swear I’m not going to scream at you this entire post. BUT, we have one week left until Christmas and I’m sorry but the situation is getting mighty serious. All caps serious. First of all, where are you on your shopping? Like, on a scale from […]
So this is kind of funny . . . And yes, this is my FOURTH dessert post on my blog. What is even happening right now. Alert the authorities. So a couple of weeks ago we were exchanging Christmas wish lists with ze family, and my Father-in-law made this hilaaaarious suggestion of bringing down […]
Ummm, so I’m in New York City right now. I . . . have no idea. One moment I was staring at the wall scratching my armpits, and the next I’m in a cab in the middle of Manhattan on an impromptu trip with my home girl, Jessica. I’m sorry I called you home girl, […]
Oh, dudes. Is it okay if I call you dude? I know I’m almost 70 years old and it’s not exactly age appropriate, but the cyclone of my heart pump leads me down a path of juvenility unstoppable to even myself. I wish I could Brady-Bunch-opening-credit myself into the center of these photos and […]
IT’S THE MOST, WONDERFUL TIIIIME OF THE YEAAAAAAR. Freaking Christmas has taken over, you guys. Taken. Over. It’s in my eyes, ears, nose, hair follicles, skin pores, eyelashes, under my fingernails. It’s like, bad. I basically need to be punched. WITH THE KIDS JINGLE BELLING AND EVERYONE TELLING YOU BE OF GOOD CHEEEEEER. Hey, […]
Or as my soul beggeth, Chickeeeenwa burgers. And while we’re at it, don’t look too closely at my sweet potato fries. It’s hard to tell with the naked eye, but underneath all that Parenthood-(ahem)-induced, semi-burned crispy exterior, lie the soft, seasoned sweet potato fibers of Zion. But you don’t rightly care because you want to […]
Oh weird I wonder how this pasta post ended up on my website. Weird. I started the week with pasta and I’m ending it with pasta. BOOK ENDING. I like the way this feels. It’s like watching a man mow his front lawn and noticing that he keeps missing this one itty bitty tiny little […]
Because super light chicken salad lettuce cups make total sense in December? Starting now, they do. Look, man, when the tidal wave of your soul current comes together with the nor’easter of your blood stream and it passes through the moon beam of your heart strings thus producing an internal hurricane of bloody frickin’ fervor […]
I want to tell you this was all about Superbowl planning, buuuuut it was just a Wednesday. Is it too early to even be thinking about Superbowl Sunday? It’s way too early, right? Waaay too early. Actually, let’s take a poll! (I almost typed pole. Ew. Let’s not take a pole, okay girls? Stay in […]
I have a few questions for you today. This is some serious stuff too. So sit down. You’re actually probably already sitting down, I realize, unless you’re in line at the DMV reading this on your phone, which in that case, ew. But if you’re in line at the post office with a bunch of […]
