I almost want to put these in time-out I love them so much. Time-out IN MY MOUTH. I accidentally typed moth at first. Time-out in my moth. I don’t . . . even want to know what that . . . could be. So this is what’s going on. It’s like Mexitalian sort of. In […]
Hi, my name is Bev and I’m a disclaimer queen. So before we go any further, I gotsta ‘splain something. Did you know that babies cry when they’re hungry? They do. They cry when they’re hungry. They cry very, very loud when they’re hungry. Sounds like Hurricane Infant. Ya know, a simple, “Mother Dear, fairest […]
It makes me crazy. Absolutely crazy. We are TWO DAYS away from 2014 and I feel like just twenty minutes ago I was falling asleep at 10:30pm- I MEAN cheersing at the turn of 2013 with bubbling champagne in hand and big dreams for the new year. And here we are. I’ve got swollen logs […]
Takin’ it to the streets! I . . . don’t know what that means. BUT, after finding out I passed my (SECOND stab-o-tron) glucose test, and passing another test that shows I don’t need to be on bed rest (at least at this point), aaaand watching my dawg frolic and play like a normal little […]
I know it’s hip to talk about the temperatures right now, but I just can’t do it. I just can’t. Especially because it’s going to be 96 freaking degrees this weekend and I want to punch it in the groin. But I’m not going to talk about it. I’m also not going to mention that […]
Anytime I say the words, “Taco time!,” I always think, “Make it Suntory time.” Name that movie? If you can honestly guess that movie we will be serious best friends forever. So this isn’t really anything new or groundbreaking. But I’m still a pretty good person. See, we’re full on in the “nom-nom-nom-whatever-is-in-the-fridge-before-we-leave-for-Boston” mindset. Oh […]
I think we should cover Monday in a cream sauce. Matter of fact, did you hear that in Uzbekistan, the translation for Monday is in fact “cream sauce?” Yeah, it’s a relatively new thing so don’t try to look it up just yet. But the trickster hook is that this cream sauce isn’t just a […]
How ’bout that royal uterus action yesterday, eh? But, I feel like we already knew it was a boy. Did we really not know? From the get go they’ve been all, “The child is 4th or 5th in line for the kingdom!” And you can only be in line for that kind of bidniz if […]
I can’t wait to tell you all about these. But first, an ant just walked across my forehead. Just cruised across my head like it’s backpacking Europe or something. And of course I completely freaked out, feeling the tiny tickle. Because at first I didn’t know what it was! Was it blood trickling down my […]
Do you see the far left of this picture and how it becomes naked and bare and sad and lonely and cheese-less? That is my life. Wait, it’s not MY life rather, but my husband’s life. It’s not really his LIFE LIFE. He has a good life. I mean, I’m in it, hey-ohhhhhh! Oh. I’m […]
