Slurp. Crunch. Chew. Pow. Zing. Faint. Repeat. That’s pretty much what we’re dealing with here, folks. A quadrafecta of bite by bite mouthal blowout. I discovered soba noodles a lawng time ago, in an old Domino magazine. Which BY THE WAY, am I crazy or did I hear it’s coming back? Like, only online? Or […]
So we started demo last night. And I HAYELPED. (name that 80s commercial.) Aside from the fact that there are only 8 gaping holes in our walls with tree limbs poking through and birds flying in and out, I think we did a fantastic job! And by “we” I mean “totally not we.” I’m also […]
You know those birds I was talking about singing A Chorus Line on my back porch at 6am? They’ve now moved on to The Phantom of the Opera and I can’t decide if I owe them admission fees or a knuckle sandwich. Let’s talk about flatbread while I try to figure out these perplexities in […]
SPAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING IS HEEAAAAHHHH. Well, sort of. Technically it’s next week. But if you could sit next to me and witness this deafening performance of A CHORUS LINE being put on by 37,000 robins on my back porch at 6am, you’d agree. Spring is up in this piece. I’ve never said “up in this piece” […]
I remember being so confused when I was little and someone would say “fly by the seat of my pants.” Are you insane? Your seat pants can’t fly! Unless you sit on a little rug like Aladdin. And if you can do that, then seriously, take me for a ride. I’ve been dying for an […]
Panini, panino. Plablini, plablino. Let’s call the whole thing off. Guess who’s late to the “getting the actual word right” party? Yeppers. But it’s not my fault! I couldn’t find a cab and it was raining and blah blah BLAH. I’m not kidding when I say that not even 200 days ago, I didn’t know […]
So it’s February and we’re grilling pizza. Outside. In the OUTDOORS. But you don’t rightly care because there is a chocolate giveaway at the end of this post. I know how you people work. But hold on to your cheelahs because I really need to blab about this pizza for an hour or 40. It […]
Something is happening to my brain. And it’s starting to scare me. It all started with the most devastating news ever ever ever. Whitney. When I found out, of course I spent the next 36.5 hours cradling my laptop, glued to YouTube, singing along through unruly sobs to I Will Always Love You. And things […]
O. M. G. Guess freaking what? I’m guest posting. Guess freaking when? TODAY. LIKE, RIGHT NOW. Guess freaking how? I dunno, man. She just asked me to and I freaked my face. Guess freaking why? Because she’s my new best friend and I just finished making us friendship bracelets. Guess freaking where? EAT. LIVE. RUN. […]
Is it true what they say about poppy seeds? Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. BUSTED. If you raised your hand it means you’ve either been in jail or prison or in court or at the police station wearing a black and white striped jumper before, AM I RIGHT? Opium, you […]
