“She’s going out to eat some lentils. Who’s that girl, it’s Bev!”(lyrics have been changed to protect the innocent) Ugh. I can’t get it out of my head. See, I started watching New Girl from the beginning again because there are a bunch of episodes in the middle that I missed and I’m trying to […]
Once upon a time there was a girl. And she had long beautiful locks of blonde hair. She was tan and toned and her clothes fit her like smooth peanut butter coating a ripe apple. And then there was this other girl named Bev. And she had this really orange kitchen. And it was just […]
Before we go any further here, I need to come clean about something. I don’t know exactly how it happened, or what was going on inside the cerebral mass inside my head skull, but it did happen. And I can’t go back and fix it. I’ll never be able to go back and correct the […]
So do you want to know how cosmically and celestially connected I am to Mexican food and cheesy food and Mexican food with tortillas and cheese in it? I’ll tell you. When I was making these here chicken enchiladas on Monday night, I WASN’T EVEN THINKING ABOUT CINCO DE MAYO. I know! And then yesterday […]
Whoa there, beefy mcbeeferpants! I didn’t mean to post two beef-a-roo (or is it beef-a-MOO? OHHHHH) recipes two days in a row. Maybe I’m low on iron? Maybe a message was subliminally sent to me in cloud formation from the sky? Maybe I’m still sad that Elise got sent home on American Idol but relieved […]
I’m baaaaaaack! And full-fledged, so you better watch yo’self. You might not recognize me right off the bat, not seeing pictures of rusty nails, dry wall and grout paste or whatever. And that’s okay! Even if it takes you some time to remember me and the actual food I post on this blog, I won’t […]
I have a kitchen. A real life kitchen with lights and electricity. A real life kitchen with water and soap and hand lotion. A real life kitchen with a sink so large, Hugh Hefner himself would glow at the possibilities. A real life kitchen with drawers so soft and slick, I’ll no longer look like […]
OOOOOOOOOOO! We’re getting there. We’re so, so, so getting there. The last couple of days were painting days. And I’m not just talking about ohhh here’s a brush and roll it over there and brush that one part right there and okay cool, done. Ner, ner, ner. Dude brought a SPRAYER. And he dressed up […]
I’m covered in dust. My armpits and nostrils are speckled with white latex paint. My hair has frog tape stuck in it. Every appliance I own is in my living room. Or in my back yard. Or in my front yard. Or in my hair under some frog tape. BUT! It’s taking shape and I’m […]
You guuuuuuuys. I have forgotten how to cook. I don’t know this to be a true fact just yet, but I was watching my line-up of PBS cooking shows this morning and as I sat on my couch, pouring half a gallon of coffee into my head, I realized that all I know how to […]
