Time for çheelee! That’s the way I say çhili. Cheelee. And you have to raise your eyebrows real high like those çreepy çartoony çharaçters in Soundgarden’s old video Blaçk Hole Sun. And the L sound has to be really enunçiated, like to the point where there’s almost spit in the çorners of your mouth. And […]
Uhhhhh yeah. That would be fig butter all over this thing. But before we begin, is it bad form to want to offer a hurricane a drink? Isaac is going to be here shortly and I’m so excited I’m putting on dang mascara. Fig butter. Doesn’t it sound so Downton Abbey or something? “Me Lady, […]
I want that cheese to be my blankie. Oh hey! I survived the gators yesterday when kayaking. And the sharks. I guess crocks and sharks can coexist in salt water? Nasty, is all I have to say about that. HOWEVER, I was this close to losing my shiz over the 18,264 spiders in our kayak. […]
“Um, this is totally chili,” says Bev to Aaron on the hottest day in all of eternity and then some. “I know, I know. Total accident. I was going for more of a beans and rice type of thing, and adding those chicken sausages you bought the other day, which was a genius move on […]
You know what the old saying is, don’t you? “When your garden has a high birthrate, immediately add to carbohydrates.” Oh you didn’t learn that in the school of lessons and life? Yeah, it was right after we learned that throwing empty locust shells on your little sister at bath time would prooooobably land you […]
Welcome to the truest love of all. It all started one evening as I was peacefully meditating in lotus pose on the veranda as the sunset cast its warmth on my body and the breeze blew through my golden locks, so carefree and whimsical. Ooooor not. Truth be told, I was actually seated in the […]
I blame America’s Funniest Home Videos. It’s quite the hazardous show if I have any say in this. You see, I made a boo-boo. And I am a little grossed out that I just typed “boo-boo” and evenly amazed that I’m not backspacing over it. Anyway, I was on a MISSION. A MEAL PLANNING MISSION. […]
Don’t you find making risotto so therapeutic? The saute of the onions, the toasting of the rice, the sizzle of the wine burning off, the pouring yourself a glass, the first ladle of the broth simmering in the absorbent-eager rice, the pouring yourself a second glass and noticing a tiny wrinkle on your neck . […]
So do you want to know how cosmically and celestially connected I am to Mexican food and cheesy food and Mexican food with tortillas and cheese in it? I’ll tell you. When I was making these here chicken enchiladas on Monday night, I WASN’T EVEN THINKING ABOUT CINCO DE MAYO. I know! And then yesterday […]
Well that’s over. What am I supposed to do with my time now that March Madness is behind us!? Oh, right. Finish Downton Abbey. But I only have half an episode left and we’re watching it tonight and THEN WHAT? Oh, right. Look at Phillip Phillips. But that’s only twice a week and WAAAAH. Oh, […]
