A little poem for you. . . The storm clouds are hoverin’. My coffee’s gone cold. My kitchen looks like a sink hole. I even spotted some bread mold. The husband has a birthday today. I’ll mow the lawns for him. He still has good hair, they say. He need notteth even a trim. Speaking […]
I’ve been on a mission, y’allins. A mission with high heels on. Just kidding. I’ve not worn high heels since I worked in a bank. Actually, I wore some cute brown chunky half heels with this cool strap to brunch this past weekend, but I guess that’s not rightly important right now. Let me start […]
Well skip to my Lordy Lou, they totally did it. Who did it? The Jayhawks. What did they do? They made it to the Final Four. How many times did you do the pee pee dance in front of a TV screen this weekend? 4,268. Why did you just say pee pee dance? I have […]
So I’m tweeting with Phillip Phillips’ girlfriend. Is this a new low for me? I prefer to think of it as a new awesome. I tried tweeting with Phillip himself, but when I noticed a line of cop cars in front of my house and snipers in my birch trees, I climbed down from my […]
There are two imperatively crucial subject matters that I must exclaim to all the lands right now. 1) Asian chicken burgers rule my face. 2) Steam from a tea pot burns the skin like a mother. Let’s start with the first subject matter. Has your mouth experienced an Asian chicken burger before? Guess how many […]
SPAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING IS HEEAAAAHHHH. Well, sort of. Technically it’s next week. But if you could sit next to me and witness this deafening performance of A CHORUS LINE being put on by 37,000 robins on my back porch at 6am, you’d agree. Spring is up in this piece. I’ve never said “up in this piece” […]
Life is so weird. Yesterday it was 65 degrees and cloudy, so I went on a long run, fertilized the yards and admired our BLOOMING (??!) daffodils and crocuses. It poured poured poured rain over night, so I awoke to a slightly greener yard, a pale yellow glow from our forsythia and horrible bed head. […]
Panini, panino. Plablini, plablino. Let’s call the whole thing off. Guess who’s late to the “getting the actual word right” party? Yeppers. But it’s not my fault! I couldn’t find a cab and it was raining and blah blah BLAH. I’m not kidding when I say that not even 200 days ago, I didn’t know […]
I swear I could put lime and cilantro on everything ever. You must feel like all you read on this blog is, “AND GARNISH WITH LOTS OF LIME AND CILANTRO OR ELSE YOU’LL GROW TWO HEADS AND HAVE ALLIGATOR SKIN BY MORN’.” You poor thing! I put it on tacos, in soups, on stir […]
Something is happening to my brain. And it’s starting to scare me. It all started with the most devastating news ever ever ever. Whitney. When I found out, of course I spent the next 36.5 hours cradling my laptop, glued to YouTube, singing along through unruly sobs to I Will Always Love You. And things […]
