Oh I am just pickled tink! Need a minute for that? Truth be told, this whole pickling thing wasn’t even my idea. Last weekend, Aaron had zipped out to the store to pick up some fly traps I thought (hi, my house is invaded. I’m like, where is the body?), but upon arrival, he slipped […]
HEY, Y’AAAAALLLLLL. We’re breaking new boundaries today! We’re covering new territory! We’re broadening our horizons! And we’re using an obnoxious amount of exclamation points! We’re frying okra. But not just any okra! Purple okra. Which, okay you can just ignore that because it’s the exact same as green okra. It totally turns green when you […]
(to be read to the tune of “release me” by wilson phillips. and I am so, so sorry.) I know that it’s time for a change Mmm but when that change comes Will you still taste the same? How many times have I longed to grill you when it’s cold? I don’t want to give […]
It’s all about the rind, n’est pas? I have no idea why I threw a little Francais into that sentence. This isn’t even a French soup. Let me start over. It’s all about the rind, I MEAN RIGHT, YOU GUYS? Yeah, that was just straight up obnoxious boulevard. Question: Do you freeze your cheese rinds? […]
You want to cradle them, don’t you? I’ll tell you what, my mouth cradled about 50 of them at one time like a bowling alley does with its pins. And you should know, I plan on making SENSE in my next life. Today it’s all about the back to schools. Not that mini cheeseburgers have […]
Back to liiiiife. Back to realityyyy. Can I just say that my back yard looks absolutely nothing like the beach? Can I also just say that in my rush to get out the door last week I forgot to turn on the dishwasher before we left? And can I ask if it’s completely disgusting to […]
Oh hey! I survived the lighthouse. You guys, it was seriously 214 steps high into the heavens of angel territory. Narrow little see-through steps. Uuuuuup.chuck. I was wearing a long skirt and it was whipping around my ankles, so I absolutely freaked out thinking it was going to tangle up in my legs and cause […]
Low carb, schmow schmarb. I’m done. I hold up my white flag. I throw in my towel. I SURRENDER ALL, Y’ALL. And I’m such a freaking baby because I went, what, two entire meals without out them? Sheesh. Okay real quick, I just scraped a piece of chocolate off my neck. A piece of chocolate. […]
I know. I’ve completely gone off the deep end. What can I say, I HAD A WEAK MOMENT. An incredibly delicious and colorfully cuckoo weak moment. Be honest, you want it. Lawk, bawd. Before your eyeballs attempt to jump out of their sockets because they simply cannot take it anymore, I’ll go ahead and give […]
Oh gosh these old things? They’re just my big guns or whatever. I’m totally kidding! I don’t even own pink plastic water guns much less real guns that are big and scawy. So you remember back in the Februarys when Aaron tried to make me a natural born killer? Wasn’t that just a gas?! Yeah. […]
