Before we spiral into the vortex of chest hair-growing, involuntary grunting, crotch-scratching and Arsenio Hall arm-pumping-style dude food this week, we need to prepare our stomach cavity. We need to massage it and stretch it. We need to put a damp towel around its shoulders and squirt cold water into it. Give it pep talks, […]
** I want to apologize if this is the 15 thousandth time you’ve gotten this post. Elves are experimenting behind the scenes. Thank you. ** I sweaaaaaaaaaar this is the last time I make you suffer through anything brusselsy or sprouty. Okay for at least 5 hours. Although, something makes me think you’re starting to […]
I don’t know how else to say this. But I would almost 100% rather have this meal coursing through my veins than blood. Okay wait, I take that back. I wouldn’t be able to taste it. What I really want is for a single ravioli with a light coating of tomato sauce to sit on […]
Okay so I accidentally bought over 3 pounds of brussels sprouts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT. I walked into the grocery store the other day and immediately my ears started giddy-ing out to Mariah Carey’s “Vision Of Love.” If you’ve ever been in a grocery store with me (or anywhere else on the entire freaking planet) […]
