Some things in life just aren’t in my control. Things like death and taxes. Things like natural disasters, plagues and famine. Things like accidentally finding myself at Pryde’s foaming at the mouth over a football-shaped cookie cutter so that I can make ridiculous football pizzas in order to feel festive in my little life. Out […]
Before we spiral into the vortex of chest hair-growing, involuntary grunting, crotch-scratching and Arsenio Hall arm-pumping-style dude food this week, we need to prepare our stomach cavity. We need to massage it and stretch it. We need to put a damp towel around its shoulders and squirt cold water into it. Give it pep talks, […]
** I want to apologize if this is the 15 thousandth time you’ve gotten this post. Elves are experimenting behind the scenes. Thank you. ** I sweaaaaaaaaaar this is the last time I make you suffer through anything brusselsy or sprouty. Okay for at least 5 hours. Although, something makes me think you’re starting to […]
I don’t know how else to say this. But I would almost 100% rather have this meal coursing through my veins than blood. Okay wait, I take that back. I wouldn’t be able to taste it. What I really want is for a single ravioli with a light coating of tomato sauce to sit on […]
Okay so I accidentally bought over 3 pounds of brussels sprouts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT. I walked into the grocery store the other day and immediately my ears started giddy-ing out to Mariah Carey’s “Vision Of Love.” If you’ve ever been in a grocery store with me (or anywhere else on the entire freaking planet) […]
