Shooooooot, y’all. It’s double doozy doozer day. Oh my gosh do you remember the old show from 1986 on Nickelodeon called Double Dare?! Where the kids had to run through those cray obstacle courses and they’d get green slime dumped on them! And Marc Summers was the host?! I SOOO-OHOHOH-OH had a crush on Marc. […]
The first time I heard about this dish, I didn’t botch the name at all. Me, “I’ll have the chicken sharmwaramaramlarmawahllalrwah, please.” The waiter thought I was such a darling that he wiggled his naked toes right in my food. Have you shawarmalarama’d before? It’s basically a popular Middle Eastern wrap where you grill all […]
You know what the old saying is, don’t you? “When your garden has a high birthrate, immediately add to carbohydrates.” Oh you didn’t learn that in the school of lessons and life? Yeah, it was right after we learned that throwing empty locust shells on your little sister at bath time would prooooobably land you […]
Welcome to the truest love of all. It all started one evening as I was peacefully meditating in lotus pose on the veranda as the sunset cast its warmth on my body and the breeze blew through my golden locks, so carefree and whimsical. Ooooor not. Truth be told, I was actually seated in the […]
I know, I know. It’s Saturday. What gives? I just feel like it’s taken me all flippin’ week to get my groove back, STELLA. And I just found out that Click and Clack from Car Talk are retiring and I just don’t rightly know how to handle this unexpected hurdle in life. Don’t they understand […]
I’m not actually giving REE away, you guys. Marlboro Man would haaave myyyy hiiiiide. But I do have a little sumpin’ sumpin’ to BUTTER YOU UP, OMG I sure did just say that. But wait! Chill your cheelah because I actually DO want to talk about this butter for a smidge. Wow, I just got […]
I blame America’s Funniest Home Videos. It’s quite the hazardous show if I have any say in this. You see, I made a boo-boo. And I am a little grossed out that I just typed “boo-boo” and evenly amazed that I’m not backspacing over it. Anyway, I was on a MISSION. A MEAL PLANNING MISSION. […]
Come hither. Sit. Two unexpected yet irrevocably significant things happened to me a few days ago, and I feel it’s only right to tell you. It all happened so fast and at the time I wasn’t even sure of what was actually occurring. I’m still trying to process it all and come to an answer, […]
I don’t guess I need to go into detail about how loudly I screamed last night when you know who made it into the the Idol finale, do I? What about how ridiculously awesome I looked with imaginary pom poms cheering, “TWO FOUR SIX EIGHT WHO DO WE WANNA RUN AWAY WITH TO A REMOTE […]
It’s a double feature today, folks! Step right up! We got goat cheese. We got herbs. We got lox and endive and chicken. We got mushrooms. We got soup. We got foil and ‘sparagus and lickin’. It’s like MY EVERY OWN CARNIVAL IN MY MIND. Wait a minute, this is all wrong. If I’m the […]
