Pork chawwwwps and apple sauuuuu-I MEAN roasted grapes. Lately I’ve been all about meals that basically make themselves. Meals that take less than .233462 minutes to pull together. Meals that use less than .19827345 ingredients from beginning to end. Meals that wash my car and mow the lawn. Meals that give me facials and paint […]
Is it too late to declare this “GRAIN WEEK FOR THE SOUL?” How ’bout for the pancreas? Just kidding. I just realized with Sylvia on Monday and the quinoa biz yesterday and now THIS? All these mofo grainz, boyyyyy. By the time Friday gets here though I’ll have to call it “OPPOSITE OF GRAIN WEEK […]
Is it too early in the day for a solid round of fist bumps? How ’bout an unadulterated squeal fest? Ring around the rosy? Pockets all full and stuff? Either way, I’m wearing some blue.chip. giddy pants today. And I haven’t worn giddy pants in a while! They’re a little tight. Hmm. So this […]
My microwave is haunted. No, it really is. When I heat up anything, and then close the door after I’ve taken the food or coffee out of it, it starts up again, but only for a few seconds, like maybe six total, and then stops. Do you think it’s the ghost of my old kitchen […]
How you doin’? It would not be a spit’s length away from a lie to say I’ve watched Friends every single day for the past 18 years since its original air date in the fall of 1994. I was fresh out of high school and starting my first semester in college, experiencing a confusing phase […]
I remember being so confused when I was little and someone would say “fly by the seat of my pants.” Are you insane? Your seat pants can’t fly! Unless you sit on a little rug like Aladdin. And if you can do that, then seriously, take me for a ride. I’ve been dying for an […]
** I want to apologize if this is the 15 thousandth time you’ve gotten this post. Elves are experimenting behind the scenes. Thank you. ** I sweaaaaaaaaaar this is the last time I make you suffer through anything brusselsy or sprouty. Okay for at least 5 hours. Although, something makes me think you’re starting to […]
I don’t know how else to say this. But I would almost 100% rather have this meal coursing through my veins than blood. Okay wait, I take that back. I wouldn’t be able to taste it. What I really want is for a single ravioli with a light coating of tomato sauce to sit on […]
