Doesn’t this look . . . soooo good . . . ? Ugh. I don’t even care. It looks awful because I’m a total d-bag and added way too much sour cream thinking, “oooo it will be so creamy and so awesome and so gorgeous an-” No. It’s so not. But the sun is out […]
I know it’s hip to talk about the temperatures right now, but I just can’t do it. I just can’t. Especially because it’s going to be 96 freaking degrees this weekend and I want to punch it in the groin. But I’m not going to talk about it. I’m also not going to mention that […]
Anytime I say the words, “Taco time!,” I always think, “Make it Suntory time.” Name that movie? If you can honestly guess that movie we will be serious best friends forever. So this isn’t really anything new or groundbreaking. But I’m still a pretty good person. See, we’re full on in the “nom-nom-nom-whatever-is-in-the-fridge-before-we-leave-for-Boston” mindset. Oh […]
I think we should cover Monday in a cream sauce. Matter of fact, did you hear that in Uzbekistan, the translation for Monday is in fact “cream sauce?” Yeah, it’s a relatively new thing so don’t try to look it up just yet. But the trickster hook is that this cream sauce isn’t just a […]
How ’bout that royal uterus action yesterday, eh? But, I feel like we already knew it was a boy. Did we really not know? From the get go they’ve been all, “The child is 4th or 5th in line for the kingdom!” And you can only be in line for that kind of bidniz if […]
Come and knock on my doooooooor. I’ve got calzones for youuuuuuuu. I’m thinking about starting every single post from now on with a song. What do you think? Don’t even THINK about that X in the upper right hand corner. Hey! So, a few things, while I have you on this luuuuverly Tuesdee mawnin’. 1) […]
I can’t wait to tell you all about these. But first, an ant just walked across my forehead. Just cruised across my head like it’s backpacking Europe or something. And of course I completely freaked out, feeling the tiny tickle. Because at first I didn’t know what it was! Was it blood trickling down my […]
Do you see the far left of this picture and how it becomes naked and bare and sad and lonely and cheese-less? That is my life. Wait, it’s not MY life rather, but my husband’s life. It’s not really his LIFE LIFE. He has a good life. I mean, I’m in it, hey-ohhhhhh! Oh. I’m […]
Hold me closer, jumbo stuffed shell. First of ALL, yes these are cuckoo but we’ll get to them in a sec. Did you watch New Girl last night? Mindy Project? (no spoilers here, folks! chill your cheelahs) The ending of NG was baaaaasically what I expected. I didn’t hyperventilate and sweat like a moose in […]
How you doin’? (before I continue, my world has been shattered as what you are about to read is all a hoax. okay proceed.) I’m trying to find the words to describe how I feel about this. Giddy school girl doesn’t quite cut it. Rampant tornadoes of hysteria is a little closer. A pile of […]
