This is how you shove summer in your face. And it’s colorful, too, so we’re basically winning at vegetables. Or wait! Fruits. Tomatoes = fruit. My bad. Why again are tomatoes fruit? Because of the whole seed thing? I think that’s a load of crock. Next you’re going to tell me that Koala bears are […]
I can’t wait for your new life to begin with these. Thing is, they’re SOEASY. This is the most no-fluff no-huff way to eat some dang shrimp rolls. Next time you want to eat shrimp rolls and think to yourself, “Geez, some shrimp rolls sound so delicious right now but I’m not entirely sure what […]
I just figured out your new favorite lunch of all time. It involves sun-dried tomatoes (yes, again). And mascarpone cheese. And the grainiest, sproutiest bread you can find. A kiss and half of butter. Your giddy pants. Like always, I buy a tub of the mascarpone cheese with a fat stash of plans to make […]
Is it too early in the day for a solid round of fist bumps? How ’bout an unadulterated squeal fest? Ring around the rosy? Pockets all full and stuff? Either way, I’m wearing some blue.chip. giddy pants today. And I haven’t worn giddy pants in a while! They’re a little tight. Hmm. So this […]
Sometimes I wish it was 1955. But for like, just a week. Do you ever wish you could go back to a specific era of your life and relive it? But not actually relive it, but instead sort of hover over yourself like a little friendly ghost from the future? Oh man I totally do. […]
Let’s go on a picnic! Not a tree picnic, seeeleeeee. Basically, this is the deal. We have probably 3 1/2 hours left of stunning autumn weather before it turns icy and cold and miserable and abominable snowmany. (Which, can I just say, I used to call it “abdominal” a long time ago. And by “long […]
(to be sung to the theme of the Brady Bunch. ahem.) Here’s the story of a grilled cheese sandwich. Who was bored of simply being on her own. She’d been grilled and grilled and grilled, like the others. Yet she felt all alone. Here’s the story, of some almond butter. And some apple slices, carrot […]
Shooooooot, y’all. It’s double doozy doozer day. Oh my gosh do you remember the old show from 1986 on Nickelodeon called Double Dare?! Where the kids had to run through those cray obstacle courses and they’d get green slime dumped on them! And Marc Summers was the host?! I SOOO-OHOHOH-OH had a crush on Marc. […]
How you doin’? It would not be a spit’s length away from a lie to say I’ve watched Friends every single day for the past 18 years since its original air date in the fall of 1994. I was fresh out of high school and starting my first semester in college, experiencing a confusing phase […]
Whoa there, beefy mcbeeferpants! I didn’t mean to post two beef-a-roo (or is it beef-a-MOO? OHHHHH) recipes two days in a row. Maybe I’m low on iron? Maybe a message was subliminally sent to me in cloud formation from the sky? Maybe I’m still sad that Elise got sent home on American Idol but relieved […]
