I guess I’m not a . . . total liar. After all, I guess it is possible to have too many bites of chewy on the inside, crusty on the outside pizza with melted, stringy mozzarella, or flaky biscuits with warm butter and jam . . . ugh, or freshly baked loaves of bread straight […]
Helloooooo, only five ingredients. I like you. Well, seven including olive oil and a garnish, but who counts those anyway? Not me. Not I. Not me. Not me! I won’t grow up, I won’t grow up. I don’t wanna wear a tie (I don’t wanna wear a tie), and a serious expression (and a serious […]
I heard a weather report not long ago that offered some pretty strong advice for how to handle these insane drought conditions. I did. Yeah, the guy basically said the only solution right now for this national crisis is massive consumption of loaded Italian chicken sub sandwiches. But he laid it out very simply, so […]
Shooooooot, y’all. It’s double doozy doozer day. Oh my gosh do you remember the old show from 1986 on Nickelodeon called Double Dare?! Where the kids had to run through those cray obstacle courses and they’d get green slime dumped on them! And Marc Summers was the host?! I SOOO-OHOHOH-OH had a crush on Marc. […]
The first time I heard about this dish, I didn’t botch the name at all. Me, “I’ll have the chicken sharmwaramaramlarmawahllalrwah, please.” The waiter thought I was such a darling that he wiggled his naked toes right in my food. Have you shawarmalarama’d before? It’s basically a popular Middle Eastern wrap where you grill all […]
Welcome to the truest love of all. It all started one evening as I was peacefully meditating in lotus pose on the veranda as the sunset cast its warmth on my body and the breeze blew through my golden locks, so carefree and whimsical. Ooooor not. Truth be told, I was actually seated in the […]
I know, I know. It’s Saturday. What gives? I just feel like it’s taken me all flippin’ week to get my groove back, STELLA. And I just found out that Click and Clack from Car Talk are retiring and I just don’t rightly know how to handle this unexpected hurdle in life. Don’t they understand […]
I blame America’s Funniest Home Videos. It’s quite the hazardous show if I have any say in this. You see, I made a boo-boo. And I am a little grossed out that I just typed “boo-boo” and evenly amazed that I’m not backspacing over it. Anyway, I was on a MISSION. A MEAL PLANNING MISSION. […]
Come hither. Sit. Two unexpected yet irrevocably significant things happened to me a few days ago, and I feel it’s only right to tell you. It all happened so fast and at the time I wasn’t even sure of what was actually occurring. I’m still trying to process it all and come to an answer, […]
It’s a double feature today, folks! Step right up! We got goat cheese. We got herbs. We got lox and endive and chicken. We got mushrooms. We got soup. We got foil and ‘sparagus and lickin’. It’s like MY EVERY OWN CARNIVAL IN MY MIND. Wait a minute, this is all wrong. If I’m the […]
