I really want to act out the famous scene in Lady and the Tramp with this pasta right now. Except I don’t want to share, so I’d look pretty dumb sucking up strands of linguine into my face with a look of “oh my! how did that happ–?!” with no one on the other side. […]
I blame Charlie Brown. All weekend long I listened to the Charlie Brown Christmas album while shopping for presents, wrapping presents and rewrapping presents. (don’t ask) But of course my undying devotion for the pizza pie paired with my weirdo cranial blob kept me from hearing the correct lyrics to the song and instead tortured […]
I’m nervous. My heart is racing. I have no idea why I’m doing this. You guys, in approximately 2 hours I’m going to our brand new H&M. How brand new? It opened….yesterday. #officiallylostmymarbles Is this a mistake? Am I even ready? Should I wear a camouflage helmet and bring trail mix in case of a […]
Duuuude, what’s uuuuuuupppppaaaa??? That’s my “never-mind-me-I’ve-just-eaten-a ton-of-mushrooms” voice. SAUTEED mushrooms, you freak! I’m not that kind of girl. You know, sauteed mushrooms are not to be taken lightly. The marriage between the butter, the garlic, the wine…they are an exquisite treasured delicacy among the lands. And in my mind. And mouth. One must not overlook […]
Is it true what they say about poppy seeds? Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. BUSTED. If you raised your hand it means you’ve either been in jail or prison or in court or at the police station wearing a black and white striped jumper before, AM I RIGHT? Opium, you […]
This recipe makes me sing a little Dionne Warwick tune that I’m absolutely positive you treasure in your heart as much as I do. The classic, “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again.” Except the lyrics go like this in my head: “What do you get when you fall in love? A bucket of penne with […]
Happy Halloween! And oh, look at these summer vegetables from the garden I’m showing you right now. How again does this even make sense on a holiday like today? Not a clue. Next I’ll be sunbathing on my roof, wearing jorts and a tie-dyed tube top while blasting “Good Vibrations” out of my turquoise boombox. […]
“I know there’s pain. WHY DO YOU LOCK yourself up in these chains?” (these chains.) Yep. I finally watched Bridesmaids last night. You guys, I’m still coming to terms with the unbelievable fact that my agent didn’t contact me for an audition. a) Kristin Wiig is my sista-from-anotha-motha. *SPOILER ALERT* b) The bestest and most […]
I think it can happen to anyone. I wouldn’t call it a BAD thing. I just think it’s common and we shouldn’t read too much into it. Or judge. To my face. I bought a bag of dried mixed beans soup thingy from Trader Joe’s. Uh huh, the one with the instructions printed on the […]
Aaaah, the carving season is among us, my friends. Night after night, neighborhood front porches twinkle with glowing faces of doom. Some are scary. Some are funny. And some are…well, kinda jank if you ask me. This Halloween, if you’re bored to the bone with carving pumpkins, grab some fruits and veggies and exercise your […]
