Row, row, row your boat, gently down the. . .plate. So, I can’t decide if it’s really really sad or really really awesome that the only Oscar nominated movie I’d seen was Bridesmaids. And on top of that, I can’t decide if it’s really really embarrassing or really really sweet that I got 14 lumps […]
No, no. Barney the dinosaur did not in fact explode all over my quinoa. That’s some real life purple cauliflower rawt thar. Have you ever seen such a thing? Well guess what, CLASS. I did a little research on these beauts, so get out your #2 and some notebook paper and let’s get LEARNT. And […]
Talk about a simple dinner, you guys. And I mean seeeeemple. So simple it almost makes you mad. So simple that when it almost made you mad, you got happy again because you realized that when you got mad, it wasn’t because of how simple this dinner was. It was in fact because you missed […]
You guys, where have I been? What on earth have I been doing my entire life? How has it taken me nearly 36 years to make fah-rickin’ PARMESAN CRISPS? Oh right, I’ve been obsessed with trying to find the world’s best deep conditioning hair treatment. Well, and solving crimes. Der. Parmesan Crisps are my new […]
So it’s 1986. I’m 10 years old, and my sister Barbara is 6. We’d just moved to the sweaty armpit of the UNIVERSE, Hobbs, New Mexico and were getting settled into our new lifestyle which involved tumbleweeds, fake red cowboy boots from the Walmart and a crimp iron. Not known to be shy, (WEIRD!) Bar […]
Some things in life just aren’t in my control. Things like death and taxes. Things like natural disasters, plagues and famine. Things like accidentally finding myself at Pryde’s foaming at the mouth over a football-shaped cookie cutter so that I can make ridiculous football pizzas in order to feel festive in my little life. Out […]
Before we spiral into the vortex of chest hair-growing, involuntary grunting, crotch-scratching and Arsenio Hall arm-pumping-style dude food this week, we need to prepare our stomach cavity. We need to massage it and stretch it. We need to put a damp towel around its shoulders and squirt cold water into it. Give it pep talks, […]
I don’t know how else to say this. But I would almost 100% rather have this meal coursing through my veins than blood. Okay wait, I take that back. I wouldn’t be able to taste it. What I really want is for a single ravioli with a light coating of tomato sauce to sit on […]
Hi. You know me. I like to stick weird things in food. Not that quinoa is weird or anything! But red quinoa? Who the what the where the when the how? Actually red quinoa isn’t weird at all either. Now, if the red quinoa was wearing a tutu, a French beret and jumping on a […]
SWISS CHARD PESTO. Thaaaaaaaaat’s it. Remember when I showed you the leetle Instagram teaser shot this weekend and no one could guess what kind it was? Man, that was like a pesto joy ride for me. And my hair got all windblown. You’re not convinced on this yet, are you? Neither was Aaron. When I […]
