Get labored! Actually, don’t. I know it’s labor day, but I think the hidden meaning behind it is, “dooo noooothing todaaaaay.” And by nothing, I’m pretty sure it excludes the following: * drinking lots of hot coffee. * finishing Fifty Shades of MY EYES. MY EEEEYES. * flipping through the pages of the 45 trillion […]
Uhhhhh yeah. That would be fig butter all over this thing. But before we begin, is it bad form to want to offer a hurricane a drink? Isaac is going to be here shortly and I’m so excited I’m putting on dang mascara. Fig butter. Doesn’t it sound so Downton Abbey or something? “Me Lady, […]
Back to liiiiife. Back to realityyyy. Can I just say that my back yard looks absolutely nothing like the beach? Can I also just say that in my rush to get out the door last week I forgot to turn on the dishwasher before we left? And can I ask if it’s completely disgusting to […]
I want that cheese to be my blankie. Oh hey! I survived the gators yesterday when kayaking. And the sharks. I guess crocks and sharks can coexist in salt water? Nasty, is all I have to say about that. HOWEVER, I was this close to losing my shiz over the 18,264 spiders in our kayak. […]
Fiiiiiigaro, figaro, figaro, figaro, figaroooooooo. Sorry. I’m randomly using evaporated milk in my coffee this morning and I think it’s manipulating the oxygen flow to my brain muscle. I hereby do not take responsibility for what happens in this post from this point on. FIGS. Do you ever think about figs and the seductive wizardry […]
Low carb, schmow schmarb. I’m done. I hold up my white flag. I throw in my towel. I SURRENDER ALL, Y’ALL. And I’m such a freaking baby because I went, what, two entire meals without out them? Sheesh. Okay real quick, I just scraped a piece of chocolate off my neck. A piece of chocolate. […]
I guess I’m not a . . . total liar. After all, I guess it is possible to have too many bites of chewy on the inside, crusty on the outside pizza with melted, stringy mozzarella, or flaky biscuits with warm butter and jam . . . ugh, or freshly baked loaves of bread straight […]
Helloooooo, only five ingredients. I like you. Well, seven including olive oil and a garnish, but who counts those anyway? Not me. Not I. Not me. Not me! I won’t grow up, I won’t grow up. I don’t wanna wear a tie (I don’t wanna wear a tie), and a serious expression (and a serious […]
“Um, this is totally chili,” says Bev to Aaron on the hottest day in all of eternity and then some. “I know, I know. Total accident. I was going for more of a beans and rice type of thing, and adding those chicken sausages you bought the other day, which was a genius move on […]
I heard a weather report not long ago that offered some pretty strong advice for how to handle these insane drought conditions. I did. Yeah, the guy basically said the only solution right now for this national crisis is massive consumption of loaded Italian chicken sub sandwiches. But he laid it out very simply, so […]
