FRI LA LA LA LAAAA LA LA LA DAY. Do your eyeballs ever wiggle in their sockets? You know like, when you sort of rest your eyes, and they just start boogieing on their own? It’s the weirdest feeling! I can’t decide if I hate it or want to cut a rug with them. It […]
Last recipe of the year! You bet your face it’s pizza. But it’s not normal. The pizza isn’t, I am. Wait. Also, look at that slaw! Let’s talk about this. There are two things that make this pizza straight magical. One – it’s slow cooker pulled pork tenderloin. With a packet of dried onion soup […]
*This post is definitely in partnership with J.R. Watkins, but all honesty and total ramblings are my own. We coo?* YES. J.R. Watkins. As in, the hand soaps. (I’m not cooking with hand soap, by the way. Ha! Wait, am I?) Did you know that J.R. Watkins has a whole new line of gourmet seasonings […]
Friddledeedeeeeeeeee! I WITNESSED A BREAK-IN. And it was the weirdest, I didn’t even know it’s what I was seeing. I mean, I watched a nice SUV drive up to my neighbor’s house, saw a dude get out and walk up to their front door, watched him sort of look around, and then . . . […]
Weeeeeell. What was supposed to be creamy and luscious, turned out oily and separated. What was supposed to take one hour in the oven, took 2 hours and 45 minutes. What was supposed to be seductively tangy and delicately acidic, turned out borderline bitter and pucker face inducing, even producing several under-the-breath grumbles at the […]
Fiiiiiiinally. I have an excuse! You see, it all started on a hot, sticky day in August of 1976, when I was born. Wait, that’s a different story. I’m really, really late on getting you a Monthly Mixtape. But this is what happened! I couldn’t decide on a theme. Which is stupid because it’s December, […]
F r I d AAAAAAAAAAA y. I think I’m getting into neck yoga. IT IS A THING, STOP. I feel like the moment my body turned 40, it sent a private DM to Elli (the goddess of old age in Greek mythology) with the subject heading “URGENT!” and a detailed set of […]
Also known as, the day Christmas crafting turned its back on me. I almost didn’t post this. Because frankly, these DIY snow globes totally blow. But then I thought, “You know what, it’s my job to watch out for fellow crafters out there. Make sure they take no wrong turns in craft life! Lead them […]
Easiest creamy pasta! Ever. Well, today. At least right now. I bet you’re craving those kinds of meals that make themselves. You’ve got a lot to do, man! All your Christmas shopping, baking, party planning, outfit-laying-out, eggnog gulping (<–I’ve never had proper eggnog, can you believe that? Is it grody? Would it give me chest […]
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF r i dls a we a d aldkjfs a DAY. I feel like I’ve not posted a Flotsam in 35 hundred thousand lifetimes! Which in reality it was only one week, but so much has happened in the last two WEEKS, you guys. I just needed last Friday off. Except, when I asked my […]
