To avoid any confusion on the spelling of the weirdotron word “bulgur”, I’m going to refer to these sliders as Sylvia. Because honestly, why is it such a pain to spell? Bulgur, bulgar, bulghur, burghul, bullhonkylonky. This is why Sylvia clearly makes sense. What I’m trying to say is, I made something vegan! And I […]
Taste the rainbow? Wait, don’t sue me! Actually, let me try to come up with my own new colorful, healthy slogan, eh!? Okay, here goes: “Taste all that color, chach mcgrach.” Ehhh, boring. “It’s like eating crayons, but not as waxy.” Why do I kind of like that? “Because sweating in Hypercolor is sexy.” […]
The effect it had on me . . . It was like, my mind went completely numb. My throat closed in. My racing heart came to an abrupt halt, and then forgot how to beat for a good 20 seconds. My eyes froze, cried a tiny river, and then found their new happy place. My […]
I can hardly contain myself right now. Would you mind if I told you why? WAIT WAS THAT A GROAN? First of all, remember when I told you all the liquid in my ear sacks spilled out onto the floor and I was dizzy and discombobulated and without a single trace of hope? WELL, they’ve […]
I like to call this one the Edible Snuggie. Wait, Slanket? You know what, I know this is a tense subject for many, so to appease you all, let’s all it the Edible Snankuggletie. Because that rolls off the tongue sooo easily. But really, when you’re down and troubled, and you need some loving care? […]
Stroganoff? It’s more like stroganON my face. That worked only in my head, didn’t it? Fiiiiirst of aaaaall, Parenthood. Who else calls complete wonk-a-lonk that next week is the LAST episode? I just read that this season was an “abbreviated” season with only 15 episodes. Well you know what, they can abbreviate my fist in […]
Issues. We have issues. Now that I’m completely caught up on Parenthood (which, ya know I just gotta tell ya [channeling Zeek right there], I’m now experiencing this DARK EMPTY VOID OF LONELINESS AND DESPAIR. Sure I have ceiling fans to clean and book shelves to dust, yawn. But I miss it! I know it […]
FROOOOOSTY THE SNOWMAAAAN WAS A JOLLY HAPPY SOUUUUUUUUUUL. Well guess what, fah-reshy fresh. We got snow! Don’t ask me how much though because to me it’s all 17 feet. No matter how little or how much, 17 feet. Even the lightest dusting, 17 feet. “MY CAR IS COVERED IN 17 FEET OF SNOW I’M STUCK […]
Oh weird I wonder how this pasta post ended up on my website. Weird. I started the week with pasta and I’m ending it with pasta. BOOK ENDING. I like the way this feels. It’s like watching a man mow his front lawn and noticing that he keeps missing this one itty bitty tiny little […]
Twas the night before Thanksgiving when all through the mouths Salivation began pooling, eager to fill up the south. The turkey was brining in the fridge with care. In hopes that all family members, weirdos included, soon would be there. The stomach was nestled all snug in its space. Getting rest for what was about […]
