I’m pretty sure that food might be the last thing anyone in America wants to look at right now.
But see it’s pizza, which one might deem a double blorbalicious whammy, but wait. It’s not. It’s tricky math really.
It goes like this. The sum of the firecracker pops plus the amount of brats you ate in less than five minutes, minus the past participle of the total drinks you consumed, divided by the amount of drinks you actually spilled, in the pool, multiplied by the addition of how many desserts you tasted, added to the amount of songs you tried to sing with a guitar to a group of people who interestingly enough left immediately afterwards = this pizza.
But that’s not the tricky part.
If you were in an area with a ban on fireworks (um, what 80% of the country?), then the math goes like this:
The lack of firecracker pops MINUS the number of grilled flank steak slices you inhaled in less than three minutes, divided by the amount of drinks you consumed, take away the present participle of the amount of times you spilled them on innocent young children’s heads, multiplied by the amount of Lisa Loeb songs you forced upon people who were this close to ripping off their own ears, PLUS all that corn on the cob that is still stuck in your teeth and chlorine still stuck in your skin pores, equals…
…this pizza. So basically everything cancels each other out and you have no choice really but to eat this entire dadgum thing.
THERE’S KALE PESTO ON IT, chachis.
Which is like, extra credit points.
Thin crust. Light garden-fresh toppings. Slices of melty brie cheese. Colors of the Ireland flag. OH OOPS.
See how tricky math can be?
Your mouth plus this pizza equals liberty and justice for all. Truth.
Garden Veggie Pizza with Kale Pesto and Brie:
What it took for 2 (roughly 10-inch pizzas):
* 1 pound refrigerated pizza dough, divided in half
* 5 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil, divided
* 2 cups sliced zucchini
* 1/2 bunch chopped kale
* 1/4 cup toasted pepitas
* 3 cloves garlic, chopped
* 1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese
* 1 cup sliced tomatoes
* 1 wheel of brie, sliced
* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
Preheat oven to 400.
In a food processor, pulse kale, garlic, pepitas, parmesan cheese, 3 Tbs. oil and a good pinch of salt and pepper and smooth and pesto-y. Set aside.
Heat the remaining oil in a medium skillet and add the zucchini; sauté for 3 minutes, until you see a little color on each side.
Roll out the pizza dough to your desired thinness. Spoon the pesto over each crust. Arrange some zucchini slices on top of the pesto, followed by the tomato slices and brie slices.
Bake for about 15 minutes, or until the dough is cooked and the cheese is browned and melty.
Garnish with extra toasted pepitas and fresh basil if desired!
Love this. And your math got a little too complicated for me this morning, but I’ll trust you and eat this pizza anyway
I second it being way too early for math… But this pizza – yes, please! Gorgeous, Bev!
Now I a) have a Lisa Loeb medley stuck in my head and b) want this pizza. Thanks Bev.
Yeah, I would totally dig into this pizza! Yum!
Looks delicious. I have made pesto out of many things but never kale. I might just have to try that!
That anonymous above was me. Whoops!
Yes, please! Never too full for pizza. Ever.
This is so creative! I never thought of making a kale pesto.. Actually, I’ve never made my own pesto period…. i need to get on that.
This is beautiful. Kale has made up a large portion of my diet lately, this will fit in there just nicely.
you know, as much as i ate yesterday i still woke up this morning wondering what i was going to be eating the rest of the day.
“no, see i’m not high – it’s just that i used to be fat!” classic. maybe i’ll go live in a house of cheese too…
Holy moly!!!! I want this NOW!!!
I am dying to try kale pesto! I love that you used garden vegetables on your pizza. Yum!
If I could script a perfect pizza, this is pretty close to it! Stunning, Bev – and brie, yes, I’ll take extra!
Brie on pizza! YES!
Helloooo big ol’ hunks of brie!
Gorgeous pizza! You know I’m game for anything involving pesto!
Bev, I went to school with a bunch of engineers, and if they made math half as interesting (and hilarious) as this post, I probably have paid more attention in class! Cannot wait to spin this into a gluten-free pizza!
I could eat this entire pizza!
Ohhh, kale pesto! You are brilliant. And brie, oh sweet brie, I can never get enough of you!
Everything good in the world equals this pizza. Hallelujah, amen.
This is one fancy pizza! Yum!
Mmmm…I love kale pesto! And brie! And everything else on this!!!
And meh to bans on fireworks.
You had me at brie! Seriously.
this. looks. so. good.
Let there be Brie on pizza. We’re like bosom buddies now, just because of that! This is gorgeous! Maybe I should be at your 4th of July next year!
What an amazingly beautiful pizza!
Great pizza, the flavors really went well together! I made it on those ‘flatout’ wraps instead of pizza dough and it was so tasty, thanks
This pizza is just too gorgeous! pinned