I can’t decide if I want to tell you what’s in this or not. Just like I can’t decide if I want to tell you about a fake eyelash that’s been stuck to my eye since Saturday night but I’m afraid to pull it off because I’m scared it’s going to rip out my real […]
Ohhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, this is it. Are you tired of the same ole boring lettuce wraps? Are you feeling restless and worn out from the mundane routine of lettuce wrap chomping? Are you dreaming of a time and place where nothing matters and you can run footloose and fancy-free in the streets in that new Stevie […]
I didn’t plan on showing you pasta two days in a row. Also, I just spent an annoyingly long time just now trying to figure out which word to link to yesterday’s post. First it was “plan.” But that looked weird. And then it was “showing,” but that made my noggin hurt. Couldn’t be “you” […]
Sometimes in life ya just gotta stuff things in other things. I think for us women it obviously started at a young age, when we dutifully learned to stuff our, ahem, bras. And then it was basically mayhem from there. If there is something to stuff, we’ll stuff it. Give me that purse. I WILL […]
Here I go again with the curryz. I put a z on the end of that word to prove to you just how hip and current I am with the times. What’s that you say? We’re no longer using the letter z to convey our levels of coolery? Only trolls do that these days? Oh. […]
If you ask me, there’s a rumble of mighty confusion among the lands. And by lands, I mean my noggin. You know what, I’m just going to ask you. I asked the Google, but it only led me down a path of befuddlement and flask shopping. What’s the stinkin’ difference between manicotti and cannelloni? They’re […]
Yeah we need to talk. First of all, Parenthood. OOOOMMMMGGGmyachybreakyheart. I’m not completely caught up, but I’m in the current season. Well, I’m only fifteen minutes into the current season because Hulu decided to get all jankidy jank on me last night. But by the looks of things, I’m due for a colossal breakdown riiiiight […]
Ow me lawd. Okay I need a cleanse. I’m done with the holidays. I’m rusting over. I’m corroding in my veins. I’m eroding in my lymph nodes. I’m oxidizing. I’m fossilizing. I’m homogenizing. And you’re grossed out right now. I forget just how much of an old lady I am, drinking my little tea and […]
Ummm, so I’m in New York City right now. I . . . have no idea. One moment I was staring at the wall scratching my armpits, and the next I’m in a cab in the middle of Manhattan on an impromptu trip with my home girl, Jessica. I’m sorry I called you home girl, […]
Oh, dudes. Is it okay if I call you dude? I know I’m almost 70 years old and it’s not exactly age appropriate, but the cyclone of my heart pump leads me down a path of juvenility unstoppable to even myself. I wish I could Brady-Bunch-opening-credit myself into the center of these photos and […]
