Hey guess what! I made shrimp last night for the first time in four months. That’s right, man. Looked through a magazine, saw a picture of shrimp and thought, “Whoa, I didn’t barf on the spot. IT’S TIIIIME.” One thing I always craved before getting pregz, barely craved at all during the beginning, and definitely […]
Sometimes I think my brain is lysdexic, because I keep reading this as Grilled Beet Meafball Subs. And it has me wondering, what is a meafball? Do we really want to know? Do we seriously want to pull at that thread? I’m gonna go ahead and step away now. I think it’s the best decision. […]
There comes a moment in everyone’s life when you realize sandwiches for dinner are the only way to live. Especially on nights when there’s no other way to cradle your mangled soul after finding out the whole Friends thing is a hoax. We’ve been HAD. But enough about that. We have melted brie to attend […]
Is it too early in the day for a solid round of fist bumps? How ’bout an unadulterated squeal fest? Ring around the rosy? Pockets all full and stuff? Either way, I’m wearing some blue.chip. giddy pants today. And I haven’t worn giddy pants in a while! They’re a little tight. Hmm. So this […]
Brothers and sisters, come together. I’m just kidding! What if I was like that? Calling you brothers and sistersshshsahhahahaaaaa! Or, or! Let us join together on this glorious day in a web of sparkly concord and tranquility as we discover new horizons of the human soul. ORRRR, wait, omg. In a single breath of harmony, […]
Another Thanksgiving under the belt. Another muffin top above it, I MEAN RIGHT CAN I GET A WHAT . . . WHAT. One line in and I’m already screaming at you. I trust you all had a smashing holiday break! Get this, I closed my laptop on Wednesday afternoon and opened it y-e-s-t-e-r-d-a-y afternoon. Five […]
Sometimes I wish it was 1955. But for like, just a week. Do you ever wish you could go back to a specific era of your life and relive it? But not actually relive it, but instead sort of hover over yourself like a little friendly ghost from the future? Oh man I totally do. […]
Let’s go on a picnic! Not a tree picnic, seeeleeeee. Basically, this is the deal. We have probably 3 1/2 hours left of stunning autumn weather before it turns icy and cold and miserable and abominable snowmany. (Which, can I just say, I used to call it “abdominal” a long time ago. And by “long […]
(to be sung to the theme of the Brady Bunch. ahem.) Here’s the story of a grilled cheese sandwich. Who was bored of simply being on her own. She’d been grilled and grilled and grilled, like the others. Yet she felt all alone. Here’s the story, of some almond butter. And some apple slices, carrot […]
I heard a weather report not long ago that offered some pretty strong advice for how to handle these insane drought conditions. I did. Yeah, the guy basically said the only solution right now for this national crisis is massive consumption of loaded Italian chicken sub sandwiches. But he laid it out very simply, so […]
