FRRRRRRRRRRRRR2468whodoyouappreciateday! (<–not really) Wait, is pantyhose back? Did pantyhose come back in style and I completely missed the announcement? When did this happen and can you forward it to me? The other day in my GirlSquad text thread with a bunch of long-time gal pals who once lived in the same college town in Northwest […]
Frrrrrrrrrrit’s my birthday on Sunday! But we’ll get to that. I have a question for you. You’re like, “Hold on let me get my coffee. And Xanax.” I saw something recently about how it’s no longer okay to say “hey, guys.” Like, to call a group of people, women and men collectively as guys. I […]
FFFFFFFFFmastotf! Who even NAMES these hurricanes? And why aren’t we getting more. . . creative? It’s like an opportunity dangling right in front of whatever round table at the World Meteorological Association and poof . . . dust. I know they go alphabetically, back and forth between male and female names, isn’t that right? But […]
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAArudeelaadooday. What do we think about, “I love me some ____.”? Like when people say the words “love me some” in relation to things in this world and life. I find myself actually saying that phrase from time to time, and then I cringe and think, “I can’t be someone who says that phrase”. And […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroydoy. Why do you think we say “smart cookie?” “Oh, she’s a smart cookie. She’ll go far.” Smart cookie? I don’t feel like cookies are the smartest of treats. Correct me if I’m wrong (I’m no baker), but aren’t they among the simplest of desserts? What’s so smart about a cookie? What about, “Oh, she’s […]
FfFfFrRrRiIiIdDdDaAaAyYyY. (that was hard.) I drank dish water and found raw chicken left in the car overnight, HOW HAS YOUR WEEK BEEN? Really. I found my coffee cup in the sink (“Wait, did I put this here? I must have.), picked it up and took a big gulp. (“Why is this is so watery and […]
Fffffffffru du a y ee oo! Okay, do we know what Seth Phillips looks like without sunglasses? Has anyone ever seen a photo of him without his iconic shades? Because we need to know what those peepers got. You’re like, “Who the wonk is Seth Phillips?” He’s Dude with Sign! You know, the beachy/hipster youngin’ […]
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRhi! Guys, I feel sorry for Karens. Not Karens Karens. They make me laugh/cringe. But real Karens. Actual Karens. Birth certificate Karens. Also, HOW DID THIS COME TO BE? First of all, I know two girls named Karen. Not currently, but I knew them in high school. And I always wonder, are . . . […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrr! i. d! a. y! Well guys I have the worst news. Oh, it’s awful. Get ready because it’s positively excruciating. I almost can’t even tell you but I feel like I need to face you, screen to screen, for this savage wave of humiliation that my soul is about to crash upon you. If […]
FLID FSID FWID FMID FRIIIIdddd. ay. Remember “To be Continued…” back in ’80s and ’90s sitcoms? Weren’t those the absolute worst things to ever happen in your life? And they happened at the most crucial times! Which, I know, is the point. They weren’t often, but when they were, you were a jumbled mix of […]
