FfFfFrRrRiIiIdDdDaAaAyYyY. (that was hard.) I drank dish water and found raw chicken left in the car overnight, HOW HAS YOUR WEEK BEEN? Really. I found my coffee cup in the sink (“Wait, did I put this here? I must have.), picked it up and took a big gulp. (“Why is this is so watery and […]
Archive | Friday Flotsam
Friday Flotsam
Fffffffffru du a y ee oo! Okay, do we know what Seth Phillips looks like without sunglasses? Has anyone ever seen a photo of him without his iconic shades? Because we need to know what those peepers got. You’re like, “Who the wonk is Seth Phillips?” He’s Dude with Sign! You know, the beachy/hipster youngin’ […]
Friday Flotsam
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRhi! Guys, I feel sorry for Karens. Not Karens Karens. They make me laugh/cringe. But real Karens. Actual Karens. Birth certificate Karens. Also, HOW DID THIS COME TO BE? First of all, I know two girls named Karen. Not currently, but I knew them in high school. And I always wonder, are . . . […]
Friday Flotsam
Frrrrrrrrrrrr! i. d! a. y! Well guys I have the worst news. Oh, it’s awful. Get ready because it’s positively excruciating. I almost can’t even tell you but I feel like I need to face you, screen to screen, for this savage wave of humiliation that my soul is about to crash upon you. If […]
Friday Flotsam
FLID FSID FWID FMID FRIIIIdddd. ay. Remember “To be Continued…” back in ’80s and ’90s sitcoms? Weren’t those the absolute worst things to ever happen in your life? And they happened at the most crucial times! Which, I know, is the point. They weren’t often, but when they were, you were a jumbled mix of […]
Friday Flotsam
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRoobybooby. Okay so why are we cutting so much? What’s with all this cutting? We cut a rug. We cut in while we’re cutting a rug. We cut the cheese. We cut the mustard. We cut it out. We try to cut down. We cut time. We cut ties. We cut our losses. We get […]
Friday Flotsam
FRRRRReedeerdeedooo. Before I even begin this post, I’d love to share a couple of thoughts. You’re like, “wait I’m nervous.” I’ll be completely honest – I’ve really struggled with how to navigate this week. Is reposting videos and graphics in Stories a total cop-out? Should I say more? Should I shut up? Do I just […]
Friday Flotsam
FRRRRRRRRRahahahahaha. Haha! Ha. Fa. Fra? I’m sorry but I just feel like “Doc” Brown should have had darker hair and eyebrows in 1955. He looks the exact same! HE LOOKS THE EXACT SAME. Okay, slightly less frizz in this mane, but everything else is exactly the same. And correct me if I’m wrong, but is […]
Friday Flotsam
FREEEEELARLUHDAY. I love Meryl Streep. (<–just jumping in.) We all love Meryl Streep. The world loves MerylfreakingStreep. But I have a confession to make. And this just may alter the course of our relationship. I need you to go easy on me when I admit what I’m about to admit. Don’t damage me, guys. I’m […]
Friday Flotsam
FRRRRRRRR! The other day Natalie said, “Yoo-hoooooo!” to Will when she was looking for him. Like in this current year she said, “Yoo-hoooooo!” all filled with joy whilst peeking into his room. And I swear to you a pinky was extended. No one says, “Yoo-hoooo!” anymore. Do you know anyone who says, “Yoo-hooooo!”? Give them […]