Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrrrrr! i. d! a. y!

Well guys I have the worst news.

Oh, it’s awful. Get ready because it’s positively excruciating.

I almost can’t even tell you but I feel like I need to face you, screen to screen, for this savage wave of humiliation that my soul is about to crash upon you.

If you’ll remember my confession from earlier this week in Instagram Stories which I’m sure 89% of you have yet to recover come. Well it gets worse. Way worse.

After I publicly admitted to dreaming about Justin Bieber (simmer down, he was just in it, you perv) and receiving this strange telepathic fantasy message that I would like a tune of his called Yummy, I woke up to discover that yes, oh MY yes, the tune Yummy is a downright delight. (And all of your various theories on what the song is about – hahaha!) On top of that, I’d like to pet Bliebler’s little trash bag mustache and call it Frank.

WELL, Spotify does this thing where it plays songs in the same vein as what I had just listened to, right? Without knowing what it was, the Spot (that’s what I call it) played me this song – dreamy, lush, a good solid vocal but not boy-bandy, a little sexy, produced in just the right places but still with the tiniest folksy sound – so I glanced over to see who it was.

…..

………….

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

………………………………………… . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .

APPARENTLY I NOW LIKE HARRY STYLES.

NO! I know. No! AH KNOW. This can’t happen. This cannot happen.

GUYS I HAVE STREET CRED TO MAINTAIN. (you’re like, “naw ya dont.”)

I mean, sure the boy is gorgeous with that unruly thick mop of locks, but he’s got to be, what 18 and I guess this makes me a cougar but his album is fantastic. LEGIT GOOD. I ran to the whole thing a couple of mornings ago and was lit-rully shocked at much I enjoyed it. What t f .

You know what, I have hereby decided to lean into the throes of pop music. Just a tad. A barely lean. Dippin’ my toe in. Seein’ how the water is.

Look I understand if you need to take a break from who you thought I was. Or, even if you need to block me. Heck I’m blocking myself!

While you’re blocking me, go listen to She.

I have another confession to make.

You’re like, “nope, that one done did me right in.”

I . . . I can’t get into this tie dye movement.

I mean it is everywhere. Every where I turn – tie dye. Every brand I follow – tie dye. Every new collection – tie dye.

Guys, no. What is with this? Look, I understand the need to get creative. We’ve all been home for months now and the antsy factor is oozing out the ends of our hair, but can we please not tie dye? It’s confusing. It’s odd. It looks hideous.

I have yet to see a tie dye that I can wrap my head around.

WAIT, I take it back. The one time I saw a decent tie dye was on a thin blanket, and very sparse, and indigo. That worked.

But please don’t put tie dye on your body unless you own a dulcimer, have a pet lizard named Bongo and live in Eureka Springs.

So glad we had this chat.

I saw this funny (well, sort of) meme the other day saying something along the lines of, “If someone asks me what my skin care routine is I’m going to tell them St. Ives Apricot scrub, hahaha!”

Well crap, I own and use that. Am I gross?

I feeeeeel like we may have talked about this before, but I figured while I’m on the train of embarrassing confessions headed to ISSUES TOWN, I may as well come clean (haha) about this, too.

Tell me, what are your favorite face scrubs? And by this I mean, budget-friendly, easy to order/find, cute packaging (you do know me, right?)

Not that St. Ives is even remotely sexy, so ignore that last part.

I exfoliate twice a week, because I read that in your 40s you need a lighter scrub, and not everyday. Who knows if this is right, I like Harry Styles now so nothing makes sense anymore.

Tell me your faves! (not favs)

We still haven’t opened the camping tent to find my earrings.

Weekend plans?

We’ve got nothing! ABSOLUTELY nothing. Which obviously means I’ll think of 47 home projects to pile on our next 72 hours. I did order some new hardware for our kitchen (a mix of aged brass meets French ceramic – yes, hon), and I’m going to call about getting an estimate for casement windows, also for the kitchen. I think that would look so dreamy and open the space up so much more. I also want to get a bid for putting in a solar tube in the kitchen, as well. Like a skylight, but smaller and supposedly cheaper. This is all boring, I realize as the words just keep on falling from my fingertips.

Well, I’m off to get a mammogram, byeeeee!

You’re like, “just go back to talking about Harry Styles.”

, , ,

29 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Courtney Turner June 26, 2020 at 7:41 am #
    Almost spit my coffee out reading about the tent/earrings :)
    • Becky K. June 26, 2020 at 11:03 am #
      Same! Such an obscure mention, but us long time fans recognize it immediately.
      • Jenn P June 26, 2020 at 11:07 am #
        Me too! I’m in the waiting room having my car serviced and all the people looked at me like I was a lunatic when I burst out laughing. Love it.
  2. Anonymous June 26, 2020 at 8:05 am #
    I like him too! Lol. And I have cleome blooming now too!
  3. Phoebe June 26, 2020 at 8:15 am #
    I highly recommend the Acure Brightening Facial Scrub. It's super effective and you don't need a lot of it! You can buy it at target or Grove.co. St. Ive's apricot is rumoured to be way too rough for face skin and the scrubby chunks are too big and scratchy.
    • Lauren Patrick June 26, 2020 at 8:28 am #
      I second Acure! Loooove it
    • Taylor June 26, 2020 at 9:31 am #
      I third this recommendation, I love all the acure stuff I've tried, but especially the brightening scrub!
    • Deanna June 26, 2020 at 3:28 pm #
      I was going to say Acure too! They’re red clay scrub is great too, but I leave it on like a mask so it has more time to do its thing. Every time I try a brand that’s not Acure I’m sad. (And it’s available at Target and Whole Foods)
  4. Candace June 26, 2020 at 8:42 am #
    So glad you found Harry Styles! I've been OBSESSED with his new album this year. It was very confusing for me as well since I was NEVER a one direction fan.
  5. Amy June 26, 2020 at 9:22 am #
    Haha my mammogram is Monday. Good for you for going ! My favorite scrub is from a small company called Urb Apothocary. From Santa Cruz Ca. Cactus face polish renewal in recyclable amber jars , products are clean and amazing. Embrace your boy crush music! You’re not a cougar , you’re just hip! Love ya!
  6. Courtney Hopkins June 26, 2020 at 9:58 am #
    Ok so, I am almost 30 and have been dealing with large pores and acne since I was in middle school. It freaking sucks and I have tried so, so, so, so many things. So when I give you this suggestion... I want you to know how much I MEAN it: Paula's Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant. I used the apricot scrub for years. Mechanical exfoliants supposedly create micro abrasions on the surface of the skin. I switched to this product on a limb because of the multitude of good reviews and I have used it every night non stop for 2 years now and my skin has TRULY never, ever been better. It dissolves the the dead skin on the surface and the micro dirt without tearing your skin and it has cleared my skin and smoothed it. It is harsh at first until your skin gets used to it. good luck!
  7. DJ June 26, 2020 at 10:04 am #
    Hi you need to read the book The Idea of You, which is about a mom who takes her tween daughter to a boy band concert and one of the guys falls in love with her. It's essentially Harry Styles fanfic and it's GREAT.
    • Jen June 26, 2020 at 11:44 am #
      1000% agree to this - so good!!
    • Heather June 26, 2020 at 3:37 pm #
      I was just going to recommend that book too!
  8. Autumn June 26, 2020 at 10:30 am #
    and I 2nd the: Paula's Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant!! I had received this as a sample and didn't think anything about it. But when I used it, each time, the next day I would be like "ohhh my skin looks good today".. took a few times to realize that I said that after EVERY time I used that stuff! So I bought the full size and still LOVE It! I love Paula's Choice products!
  9. Stephanie June 26, 2020 at 10:32 am #
    Dude that Harry Styles album is LEGIT! I also hate tie dye and was beginning to think i was the only one. Boring solids foreverrrrr!
  10. Renae June 26, 2020 at 10:34 am #
    Yes on the Acure, I buy it at Whole Foods. Also had my mammo on Wednesday, all good. The Biebs was a BIG part of my son's 8 year old self, 8 years ago...I remember him with fondness. Baby, baby, baby, oh! And this weekend is baseball. It's too soon, and yet it's not. Thanks for keeping us beautiful...and fed...and making our ears happy.
  11. Jessica DeRosa June 26, 2020 at 10:55 am #
    Call me crazy but give Stridex a try!! Honestly, Google it!! My sister convinced me and it’s been pretty amazing!! My skins super soft and is glowing!!!! Or try Palmers Coconut Sugar facial scrub. Good stuff!!! ❤️
  12. Angelique June 26, 2020 at 10:55 am #
    3rd recommendation for Paula's Choice! I usually get mine at Nordstrom and it works like a dream. St. Ives is really just too harsh and can lead to tiny abrasions on the skin which will actually make us look older. Eff that shizz!
  13. Becky K. June 26, 2020 at 11:14 am #
    Kuddos on the earrings reference. I literally laughed out loud. When boy-banders (is that a word?) grow up and become real life men, there's something irresistible about them. Justin Timberlake: yes, please, JoBros: uh huh, HANSON! what? No shame (or judgement) here. For exfoliators I highly recommend The Ordinary. All the products are super affordable and actually have ingredients that work. I use the glycolic acid toner daily and the AHA+BHA peeling solution once a week. My skin has never been smoother. I don't recommend you buy from Amazon as the mark up can be as much as twice the amount. I buy from Ulta, but Sephora sells The Ordinary products too.
  14. Kimberly June 26, 2020 at 11:22 am #
    I still hate tie dye but now I want a pet lizard named Bongo.
  15. Marcy Vander Ploeg June 26, 2020 at 11:40 am #
    You are hysterical!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
  16. Sandy June 26, 2020 at 11:53 am #
    My true confession? I was bopping around to something my daughter was playing on "The Spot" recently, and I said, "Who IS this? I LIKE it!" and she said, . . . The Spice Girls. My cool card was immediately pulled.
  17. Rachel June 26, 2020 at 12:01 pm #
    Our house came with 3 solar tubes. I love them, aside from the times that they're beaming so brightly that I go to turn off the lights, only to realize obviously I cannot. But for real, my house would be so dark without them. Many thanks to the previous owners for putting them in!
  18. susan June 26, 2020 at 4:10 pm #
    Before you built the adorable playhouse, I was going to suggest that you put up the tent to entertain your twins which would also end the earring mystery for your followers. I loved how you just dropped that right in the middle of the whole Harry-Mammogram ramble. Ew, Harry-Mammogram conjures up some gross mental pictures.
  19. Laura Tosto June 26, 2020 at 5:05 pm #
    I LOVE HARRY and the Jonas Brothers. We took our 17-year-old daughter to see them in the fall. Amazing concert and music. I think music is ageless. Some things I can not stand, others, I fall in love with.
  20. erin marie June 27, 2020 at 10:41 am #
    So, this is one of those weirdy coinkydinks. I read this post, of course I did. Read the comments, as I do. Formulated my own response in my head, as I do. Added the Acure exfoliant to my Amazon cart, typical me. Moved on. Then I cleaned my bird’s cage and re-lined it with fresh newspapers (stay with me). Newspapers donated by my parents bc we don’t get the paper, so they’re older. This partic paper was from May 3 that I pulled out and it was fact checking the truth about skincare products. One of the items was St. Ives Apricot Scrub, which I used roughly a billion times. Apparently, St. Ives was part of a class-action lawsuit a few years ago related to the crushed walnuts damaging skin and that it’s not non-comedogenic. The article states that discourse over the product gets quite heated on Twitter. I don’t Twitter, not do I get the newspaper (timely). So now we know!
  21. Erin Marie June 27, 2020 at 10:42 am #
    Also- open up the damn tent already!!
    • Bev Weidner June 27, 2020 at 10:55 am #
      Hahahahaha! IKNOWWWW I know. Some day! And how BIZARRE. I'm tossing my tube immediately!

Leave a Reply