Pho pho pho your boat, gently down your throat. Who else is sad I don’t write food jingles? And also, I know it’s technically pronounced “fuh,” but fuh fuh fuh your boat made me feel awkward on the insides. I would say, “what the fuh!” but my mom would remove me from her will. So […]
Because by the end of this post, your ovaries will have borrowed the car, taken it for a joy ride, hit some mailboxes with baseball bats, stolen a cat, smoked cigarettes, gotten a tattoo, seen the very face of God, repented its sins, gone home to safety, taken a shower with The Crying Game playing […]
Doesn’t this look . . . soooo good . . . ? Ugh. I don’t even care. It looks awful because I’m a total d-bag and added way too much sour cream thinking, “oooo it will be so creamy and so awesome and so gorgeous an-” No. It’s so not. But the sun is out […]
Are you March Madnessing? I think I still am. Which is weird for me because I’m totally not into sports. Unless you count ping pong and coffee creamer flipping. WHAT, there is a real art there, you guys. The teams that we were rooting for are all basically done. Judge Judy would be so mad […]
I almost called this Jammin’ Jambalaya but then I remembered I like having friends. Not only is it jammin’ though, it’zeeeeeezy. Not like 1-2-3 easy, but more like 1-2-3-4-5 easy. But not 1-2×87+369-44. It’s seriously just 1-2-3-4-5 easy. Good thing it’s not 862-13xthesquareofpie+infinitygoogle-81, right? I always hated math. This is actually a little thing that […]
Can you believe I’m posting a pizza? Because I NEVER post pizza. I never do. Would you believe that round-up was nearly a year ago? I wonder how many pizzas I’ve posted since then. Hold on I’m gonna figure it out. Because I know you’re all dying to know. Oh. Oh wow. Seriously. Another one. […]
This is what you eat when you feel like being fancy but not. Fancy. Because it’s not fancy. It’s faux fancy. It’s fauncy. The thing is, I could alwaysalwaysalwaysalways eat Mexican food. But guess what, this isn’t really that Mexicany! Besides the use of cilantro and tortillas, it’s not really Mexican at all. It’s faux […]
From a distance that looks like shredded parmesan, doesn’t it? “From a distance, the world looks blue and green, and the snow-capped mountains white.” I always hated that song. Bette sure is a fan of singing about eagles. Have you ever noticed? “From a distance the ocean meets the stream, and the eagle takes to […]
As in CORNBREAD cornbread. Moist (sorry) yet crumbly (sorry.) Dense (sorry?) yet light (not sorry?) Spicy (no need to be sorry) yet sweet (nowhere near sorry.) Are you already worn out? Sorry. Remember the game Sorry? Me, too. That’s all I had to say. Anytime I say the word sorry I say it like Gilly […]
Soooooo baked, you guys. Is it spring where you are? It wants to be spring here, but it’s failing. I give spring an F. Not that it’s even technically spring yet, but when I’m seeing and writing March on everything, it needs to be spring. I need tulips and daffs sprouting out of my nose. […]
