FRRRRRRRguesswhat. It’s my birthday! You’re like, “Well crap, now I’m obligated to read the rest of this post.” DANCE, PUPPETS, DANCE. But you’ll like this. The other day the kids were (sort of) decorating these shoe boxes that they’re taking to school today that will act as their “Reading Treasure Boxes” for the rest of […]
FAAAAAAAARAAAAAADAAAAAAAAH. I need help! You’re like, “how about let me wake up first.” You know I’m a Kindergarten mom newbie. A mewbie. A mombie. Nope. Give me some snack ideas to send with the kids to school everyday! I know you vet moms are LOCKED AND LOADED with tricks and you better spill it. They’re […]
FREEBIE FROOBIE FRIBAY. . . . day. I meant day. What’s the deal with the purple shirt on the lady woman emoji? Why purple? No one likes purple. Unless it’s a lavender shade, but it’s not. It’s a bright b-hole purple. And it’s supposed to represent human fashion choices?! Think again, Chachi. Why can’t we […]
Frrrrroopy droopy doopy doo. (doo) Guys I have the most humiliating story in the entire world to tell you. You’re going to disown me. I would disown me, too. I already did. So last week, my girl Ashlee slides into my dm (just kidding) sends me a message via Facebook messenger. It’s sort of late […]
FRRRRRRRAH! duh. How are you with honking? I don’t mean like, what does it look like when your hand lays on the horn. More like, do you honk? Is honking something you’re into? Are you a breezy honker? (“You can’t say you’re breezy! It negates the breezy!”) I can’t honk. I can’t do it. Even […]
FFFFFFFFFRSAMDAYIDFLRFF. (<—miss me? don’t answer that.) Does anyone actually know what a sump pump looks like? No. No one does. Not even the men or women that install them. No one knows what a sump pump looks like. I don’t know what a sump pump looks like. It dawned on me the other day that […]
FLIBBERS FLOOBERS FRIDDERS DAY. My nose always itches when I run the kitchen sink water. Isn’t that weird? Always. I’ll be gearing up to tackle the dishes, completely fine, itch free, and then I flip the water on, and as soon as the water + soap touches my hands and begins to lather, my nose […]
FRRRRRRRee! Tree. Tri. Dri. Di. Fri. Day. You know how people always say, “Sorry to beat a dead horse.” That old phrase, ya know? Where did that come from? It’s so dark! And awful. How does one just throw that visual out there all casually in conversation? And why a horse? Who came up with […]
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFrah rah ree ree roo roo day. I mean day! Okay. I decided that one of my least favorite things in life is the sound of an electrician or plumber. Like, the noises they make from a room away. It gives me such anxiety! I need to be AWAY from it all, I’ve decided. You […]
FFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRoooohah! So we need to talk. Real talk. Life talk. Serious stuff. Woman to woman. Er, fingertips to eyeballs. Can we talk about neck masks? Now before you roll your eyes all, “BEV YOU MUST ACCEPT THE WHOLE TIME CONTINUUM THING” – no. I mean yes. Yes it’s there. Yes I (sort of) accept it. […]
