Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRay! I mean Fri. And then day. Fray.

I think I’d like to get into Gin and Tonics.

Is this a bad idea?

Do I need to even capitalize that? Hold on, let me look.

I do! I think. I will. Anyway, I feel like I should get into them because lately in all my books it’s theee drink everyone’s always drinking. Much like last summer when that strand of four books were loaded with Sancerre and my life became about Sancerre. I think it’s time for a Gin and Tonic moment.

Am I taking a wrong turn in life? Will this be like that one time I announced (pre-blogging days, like 15 years ago) “Guess what, everyone! My new drink is a classic MARTINI!” And then the next day, “…guess what, everyone. I am no longer into martinis.” Ay yi yi.

I’ve not had a Gin and Tonic in years. YEARS. Twenty one to be exact. I can’t even remember what they’re like. They remind me of this specific life era, though. It was when the very first Coldplay album came out. Parachutes. That one. It’s so good. I was living in a teensy tiny janky apartment in Fayetteville, AR and all of my architecture student friends lived in this little white house across the street and up on the parking lot. I remember I’d walk up to the front porch every day after work and we’d sit outside all summer, listening to that album, sitting on G&Ts. (I know people call them G&Ts.) “And it was called ‘Yellooooow.'”

SO GOOD.

Do you drink these? I know it’s gin + tonic water + lime? Anything else? I know I can type these words into a thing called THE INTERNET, but you’re cuter.

Should we do this? (I’m looking at you, Ash.)

What’s your sleep style? Because you know we all have a sleep style. Do you hog? Do you stay coffin still? Side sleeper, back, stomach, twister, drooler, arm thrower – I NEED TO KNOW because you know I have no life.

Mine is weird. Tell me if this is weird because I feel like it’s weird.

First of all I need a lot of blankets. I need a lot of WEIGHT on me. Not to be confused with a weighted blanket. I just need an ish ton of blankets. And I need my feet dangling off the bottom. Yep, I just typed that. I sleep halfway down the bed on my stomach with my feet dangling off (I’ve come to term with the fact that the alligators living under my bed are friendly and won’t eat my feet or slit my achilles tendons) And I need my left arm shooting straight up to where I can feel the headboard. And my right arm snuggles a pillow. And that pillow is stiffer and flatter than the pillow under my head. The pillow under my head is filled with down feathers. And when I micro-wake in the night to shift, I pop my right wrist. Every time. I need the popping sensation to go back to sleep.

I don’t understand why your face is like that right now.

Tell me your sleep style. And please be weirder than mine.

Have you ever heard of a skin spatula?

Let me type those two words again. SKIN SPATULA.

Look, I’m going to tell you to google it. Watch some videos. And I’ll most likely land on your sh*t list today, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. IT IS GROSS. But like, captivating. Your eyes do their very best to pull away from this crime scene, but they can’t quite make it.

More specifically, do you have a skin spatula? Or have you ever had one used on you during a facial? Please tell me your nose pores squeezed out a tub of mascarpone cheese.

If I haven’t abused our relationship to the point of no return yet, I have a couple of quick things!

1. Remember our new kitchen windows? (I AM STILL SO IN LOVE) Well, the discount that I’m running with Bordner ends at the end of this month, so you have a few more days to schedule a consultation, if new windows have been on your upgrade list. I walk you through how to fill out the form and everything. It’s super easy. We’re about to order five more and I’m already irrationally giddy. I’ll show you those too, if y’awnt!
2. I realized I never actually gave you the LINK to my segment on The Drs! Here it is, in case you missed it on the tee vees.

That’s all.

Weekend plans?

I’m finally devoting all day tomorrow to our BACK YARD. Ripping out the dead, raking up the leaves, bagging up the grody. It is happening. New rug and curtains and pillows are on the way, so riiiiight after Easter I’ll be about to move all the plants out and really jush up that cozy space. I have a feeling you x-ed out right around the wrist popping, so I’m mainly talking to myself.

From this week, in case you missed it! Simple Fish Tacos, girl. Bright and zesty and beyond delish. And then Simple Pulled Pork BBQ Sandwiches! Apparently I was very into simple this week. Both of these are absolutely perfect weekend throw together meals, so get on in that.

So like, are we having a Gin and Tonic tonight or . . . ?