Plants! Not to be confused with pants. Although we like pants, too. Never mind.
A lot of you, and I mean A LOT OF YOU ask about our houseplants. I think it might be because we have 13 trillion, 723 billion, 294 million and a few more after that.
So! I thought I’d walk you through what we have, and how to keep it not dead. Truth is, I give almost every plant the same care routine. I water once a week, and tweak it based on how the soil of the plant is feeling. Sorry I said soil.
Our biggest and most dramatic plants (and my personal faves! not favs.) are these two enorm split-leaf philodendrons in our living room. Actually, most of our plants are philodendrons – either cascading or split-leaf. Mostly cascading. You’ll see.
And I swear I’ll keep this speedy! We’ve got a lot of plants to cover. I just really want you rooted in information. ROOTED BAAAHAHAHAH.
Okay, there are lots of variations of these – some with solid green dark heart-shaped leaves, some more speckled with white or limey swirls. All wonderful. Easiest plant in the world to take care of. We have these everywhere. They add the perfect touch of green to any room corner, and I especially love it in our kitchen window. I water once a week. Done.
This is a Mass Cane Floor Plant. We’ve had it FOREEEVERRR (Sandlot style), and it’s gone in and out of awesome and n’awesome. It’s happiest indoors, with a good soak once a week. I really like it in this spot. Adds drama and oxygen to an otherwise snoozy corner.
Also – our entire house is white, so I use plants as the decor. You’ll see I don’t have a lot of (or any?) art on the walls. That may change through the years, but for now, I prefer the plants be the home’s energy, if that makes sense. Plus all that oxygen, man!
Can I call you man?
Another cascading philodendron! I tend to buy the ones with more solid leaves, but if you like the limey ones, you’re still a good person.
Oh, the white on the leaves is paint. Don’t ask.
On the left we have a Fiddle Leaf Fig Tree. (another fave! not fav) We jokingly call it a hipster tree, as I see them eeeeeeeverrrrrrywhere these days. Every Kinfolk story, every minimal home shop, people love them. But I mean, look at it. It’s gorgeous. And they get HUGE. Matter of fact, if you buy them already big, be prepared to take out a second mortgage on your home. They ain’t cheap. But you can buy them as babies and not go broke. (<–pro tip.) (also, I water once a week. maybe more if the leaves start to droop and I hear the Crying Game in my cerebrum.)
On the right, the classic Mother-in-Law’s Tongue. Not too expensive, and a cinch to take care of, we’ve had these plants on and off for more than a decade. If you’re not too sure where to start with houseplants – my vote is this! It’s striking, and they come in all sizes, so you can start small. I water once a week, Seymour.
Can I call you Seymour?
This one has been with us for 10 solid years! #old The Rubber Plant.
Listen to this, when we bought this house 10 years next WEEK (which is insane), I wanted a show-stopping dramatic indoor plant. So we found Ralph. This H U G E rubber plant that seriously touched the ceiling. We fell in love, bought him, had him for a few years, then one day he went straight kaput. JUST DIED. Except for oooone tiny offspring leaf which was still dark green and healthy. So we cut it off and replanted that one single leaf/stem in some good soil, and put him in a well-lit spot in our bathroom (I’ll show you in a sec), and over time he came back to life! And here he is now. Oh Ralphy.
Crap I think it’s a girl.
Split-Leaf Philodendron! Large leaves on the ends of leggy stems, it’s absolutely exquisite in a large open corner. Also, philodendrons cry! Seriously, after a few days, you’ll notice tiny tear drops at the end of the leaves. It’s one of life’s great mysteries. I keep the soil pretty moist (SORRY) – once a week with a heavy water. If the lower leaves start to turn yellow, back off on the watering a tiny bit.
Another baby mother-in-law’s tongue. You know.
Truthfully, I have no idea what this little guy is. We bought him forever ago, from the succulent part of the store. I probably over water because he used to look cuter. But he’s not dead! So, there’s that?
Basically, succulents are incredible plants. SUPER low maintenance, and I love the thick, rubbery texture to the leaves. And they come in the most unique shapes and forms. They’re mostly on the small side, and look fantastic clustered together in a larger pot, or lined in a row in small individual pots. I LOVE SUCCULENTS. Sorry to scream.
Another split-leaf! You know.
The Christmas Cactus. No really, it’s a thing. And get this – it blooms in December!
I bought it for two dollars (“I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS.” – name that movie) at a thrift store a couple of years back, and it’s been as happy as a Christmas cactus clam ever since. I water once a week.
Another cascading philodendron! You know.
Obviously I call it ZZ Top. Crazy easy to take care of (I water once a week), and apparently it’s a super air purifier! I mean, all plants give off oxygen, but this one I guess is super charged. I dunno. I like the way it looks. The end.
The Jade plant! The classic succulent.
Dark green, thick stubby leaves, and thrives on neglect. Just like my soul.
Another ZZ Top plant. We’ve had the one above for y e a r s, but overall they’re slow growing. And simple to manage! I water once a week. Do you see a trend here?
Look at that color! You need one of these.
Another cascading philodendron. This is the plant I get asked about the absolute most. I’m showing you the up-close, but you can see the full LOOK in this Instagram photo. It’s two old thrifted theater can lights, flipped upside down, bottom hole sealed, filled with soil, and plants stuck in them. And they’re stunning! I couldn’t dig them more.
Now THIS thing is wack. It’s called the Devil’s Backbone, and it’s all Aaron. (Oh! this is the bathroom spot that Ralph came back to life. Ralphina? Crap.) Aaron’s drawn to plants with a stronger masculine quality. Spikes, sharp points, jagged stems. So in his bathroom it stays. I’m still a good person.
And there you have it! Our housepants. I mean plants.
Oh oh – one thing that works for me with planting aesthetics, is that I stick to mostly terracotta planters. They’re classic for any home, and the color works for any style. You can’t go wrong. If I don’t use terracotta, I stick to neutrals, or warm metals. Or hot pink. Just kidding.
Tell me your fave (not fav) houseplants! I’m alwaysalwaysalways on the lookout for (MORE) dramatic indoor greenery. One day I hope to find this fabulous heart-leaf hoya for my life. Waaaah!
Also, I have no idea what’s happening in this photo.