I see your traditional chili and I RAISE YOU THIS MUTHA.
Chili powder? Zilch.
Can of beans soaked in chili whatever whatever? Naw.
THIS. This is epic. Totally unexpected. Beyond exceptional. Exquisitely special.
And the chili’s pretty good, too.
BAHA HA HAH A hha h a a haha ha a a hahah aaa.
The other day, I set out to make a steak and black bean chili that would punch other steak and black bean chilis right in the face. And I don’t have a competitive bone in my body! (don’t tell my husband I just said that.) But I feel like I somewhat achieved it. I only say somewhat because we watched Final Destination part 2 last night, and I feel like if I say it’s the absolute best steak and black bean chili of all time, I’m testing some deathy egotistical waters, and a vat of piping hot steak and blakc bean chili may happen to fall off a building this afternoon while I’m walking underneath it, and it falls on my head, burning me to ash. Bye-bye, Bev. I KNOW THIS GAME.
So I’ll just say it’s bloomin’ fab. That’s safe. I think. I hope. Now I’m scared.
But listen to what goes in this and tell me you’re not already losing your mind.
Steak cubies. (I call them steak cubies. Just lock in me a cage.)
Onions and garlic. Freshly chopped herbs. The woodsy ones! Like rosemary, oregano and thyme. (Why do I feel like listening to Simon and Garfunkel right now? Speaking of, where did Garfunkel go? What did he end up doing? Is he in prison?)
I wanted DEPTH. I wanted COMPLEXITY. I wanted TANG. I wanted RICHNESS. I wanted a SWEETNESS. You want me to stop TALKING LIKE THIS.
Let me say, because I know you’ll ask – I chose the stove top route because there’s so much searing and sautéing in the beginning, it would be a maj pain to transfer all of that to a slow cooker. I mean, you CAN. I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but I feel like keeping it on a low setting, stove top-style, you’ll be in pimp shape. Plus you’re stirring once in a while, so that you can manage the reduction action.
That’s another thing. I wanted it insanely reduced and thick. But! If you prefer a slightly soupier chili, by all means, add another can of beef stock in the beginning. Won’t hurt a thang.
Riiiiight at the end you’ll swirl in two level teaspoons of grainy mustard. This like, TRANSFORMS the chili. It’s the perfect little zip to round out the whole dish.
And instead of grated cheese and avocado on top? Go with limey Greek yogurt. It is ridiculous. That and jalapeno cornbread. Just stupid. You’ll freak out and get pretty upset.
You must make this. If not now, this week. If not this week, this month. If not this month, this season. If not this season, this year. If not this year, next year. If not next year, THEN I DO NOT UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE.
Bloomin’ fab. (That’s safe, isn’t it? I’m still scared.)