This salad sounds like an oxymoron. Right?? Ha! Never mind.
It’s a classic. It really is. The only thing I didn’t a little differently was to amp up my creamy dressing a bit. A ton of lemon juice + poppy seeds + Greek yogurt. I feel like you’re really going to be into this. Don’t tell me if I’m wrong, I prefer to live blissfully in oblivion.
Plus you saw the part about bacon, right? Bacon.
Let us peepeth.
Okay, FIRST of all, this is the jankiest photo of all time. I was shooting video at the same time and completely forgot to get a photo, so here’s a screengrab of the video. Bahahahah. So awful. Slightly blurry, slightly drunk. It’s August though so who really cares.
Broccoli! Just grab a bag of florets, or two crowns. Cut them way down to get smaller florets. Go even smaller than I did. While I was eating the salad I was thinking, “Yeah these florets could be smaller. Next time I’ll go smaller. Smaller. Smalls. Sma.”
We’ll take the Greek yogurt and whisk in a ton of lemon juice and poppy seeds. ‘Atta goil.
And then we just build. You’ve crisped up bacon, by the way! A hefty five slices. Chopped and cooked and crisped until your heartstrings play the soundtrack to Pride and Prejudice. You feel me here, I know it.
And that is IT. No need to pre-cook the broccoli. Under the acid of the dressing, it will slightly tenderize on its own, still giving you that satisfying caaaa-runch.
And everything is wildly balanced. The savory of the bacon, the tart of the dried cranberries, the nuttiness of the seeds, the tang of the dressing, the earthiness of the broccoli. I cannot stress enough how deliciously flavorful this is. It’s insane. Truly.
I know we’ve got a lil’ bit until Labor Day buuuut you could at least start planning. Three and a half weeks out like a normal person.
That is the way a normal person plans, right?
Don’t answer that.
Okay fine, tonight!
The crunch, I’m telling you…