It’s pizza! But we’re making it fashion.
I’m calling it “bistro” pizza because I had an epic wave of laziness and leaned into the premade dough. And on the refrigerated pizza dough package it said “bistro.” And of course I was like, “I’m listening.”
But get what you want! Or make your own dough, if you’re feeling ambitious in this life.
Bistro is pretty thin crust, so this is going to have more of a dainty sort of feel. Which is why we do what we do to the broccoli here in a little bit. Are you ready?
Let us peepeth.
So check this out – we’re going to use provolone cheese instead of mozzarella. And it’s such a deliciously tangy swap-in. I wanted this to have a café feel, you see. A little ham, a pop of green, a little heat. I have no idea why that makes it café-ish, but in my head it’s happening. It happened.
So the broccoli – just take a few florets and drop them into a food processor. Hit that pulse button a few times until you get broccoli gravel. I want to say I ended up with nearly a cup of gravel for the whole pizza. It’s less than what you think! So go a little at a time and eyeball it until it all feels right in your soul.
The Canadian bacon – let’s sear! Just a few seconds in the pan on both sides and that charred hammy depth pops out and it’s outstanding.
You know how I feel about charred hammy depth. We’re like this.
So this is what happens when we layer. Roll that crust out and give it a little drizzle of olive oil. Then sprinkle the dough with garlic powder, just as evenly as you can.
Then layer half the grated provolone on the crust, followed by a sprinkling of broccoli gravel and the seared, quartered Canadian bacon. It’s already out of this world, but we’re adding more cheese because we’re not complete idiots.
Right on top. Get that tangy provolone all over it. Maybe pop a few shreds into your mouth if you know what’s good for you.
What I like to do is drizzle a little more olive oil on top like they do on TV, and get it in the oven for a stint.
And it comes out like this. Guuuuuuh. Crispy on the bottom, bubbly and creamy on top. It’s all too much.
And the broccoli – see it’s not overwhelming. We’re not taking in huge chunks of half-cooked florets. The gravel is all tender and earthy and it just works with the bacon.
I mean, you’re seeing this, right?
The flavors are right in the middle on this thing – a bit feminine, but with a rustic edge. Unmistakably hammy, but with a softness that balances.
And with a little crushed red pepper and freshly minced parsley on top, MY GOSH.
It’s comfort food of course, but slightly elevated. In my head at least. Don’t squash my dreams, bruh.
You cannot tell me you don’t want your entire upper torso in that.
And uh, you saw how simple it was. I feel like you saw how simple that was and internally you’re like, “Sold.”
Dinner tonight with a salad, okay??
Just trust it.
I already can’t wait for you.