Friday Flotsam

F  a a  a  a   a a a  a a    a a      a riday.

Christmas Tree

Have you guys seen VOYEUR?


It’s all I can think about.

Listen. This (married!!??!?!) pervo man buys a motel in Denver back in the ’60s for the primary reason of watching his guests do you know what, through a little vent in each room’s ceiling. FOR THIRTY YEARS. It is insane. And this journalist from New York, Gay Talese, sort of befriends him back in 1980 because pervo REACHES OUT TO HIM, and is all, “You should do a story on me. I’m a voyeur. I watch people and I’m fine and normal and my wife knows about it and she’s fine and normal.”

Cuckoo. You have to watch it.

And then all these things happen as the story evolves (like a murder! or was it?) and all these dates are off and a book is written and the fact checkers scratch their heads and you’re like, HONEY GET THE SILLY PUTTY WE’RE SEALING UP OUR VENTS.

Nutso. You have to watch it.

AND THEN the book is released and pervo freaks out about it. Uhhhh HE WANTED THE STORY.

Bananas. You have to watch it.

Then seal up all the vents in your home.

If you do watch it, help me figure out who pervo’s voice sounds like. He has the EXACT same vocal tone as some famous person, but I can’t figure it out. And it’s driving me to the bats. Clearly I have too much mental space.

bathroom ceiling

Okay so where are you with your shopping?! I’d say I’m about 75% done. I think.

Are you making any handmade gifts this year? If so, tell me what they are! A few years ago I made little at-home spa packages for all the ladies in my family. Like, a bath salt, homemade lotion, some candles, a body spray, yadda yadda yadda. But I need inspo for more handmade/homemade ish.

WHICH REMINDS ME, I still need to find a frame for my dried zinnia project that I started back in 1954.

turmeric salt dough ornaments

You know what tiny life pleasure gives me so much joy? When you stick a straw in the tops of each salt dough ornie (<–sorry) to make the hole, and then you put the straw in your mouth and blow the tiny chunk of dough into the sink.

That thud.

The air in the straw that follows the thud.

The tiny sound of release in the straw behind the air that follows the thud. Ahhhhh. I love that.

Please don’t send me to a mental hospital.

(That recipe? ^^^ 2 cups flour + 1 cup warm water + 1 cup salt + 3 Tbs. turmeric. 200 degrees for four hours. Of course you can swap in cinnamon for the turmeric for a more festive scent. But I’m a sucker for all things mustard yellow. And sealing up my vents.)

evergreen on the table

You guys, I keep forgetting to move Paddey the elf. You all said I’d forget, and I’m forgetting! You called it. You warned me. Hold on, I’m going to go move him right now.

Hold on.

Okay, just put him in the freezer. He should be okay in there until 2089, ya think?

Weekend plans?

We’ve got a one-year old’s birthday party tonight (I’m bringing wine because that’s normal.), and I feel like the rest of the weekend is pretty open! Which is good because I still need to seal up our vents.

I plan on making more of the little beads in the vintage metal ornaments that you bake. I made two last week, and I didn’t realize how MUCH the beads shrink up! They shrink up, big time. You’re like, you need a shrink big time.

But I can promise you this, as far as crafting goes, I won’t be making THESE AGAIN. Hayell naw. You know what, don’t even click that link. It will take you to a dark time in my life that I’d rather not revisit.

Okay, now where did I put that silly putty…


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8 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. T December 8, 2017 at 8:43 am #
    Thanks for the Voyeur recommendation!! I always take a day off work right before the kids get out of school for the Christmas break to organize and wrap presents, take inventory of stocking stuffers, etc. And I love to binge watch something just like this on Netflix while doing so: two years ago I did the entire Making a Murderer series. If you have a sewing machine I've had good success with sewing ruffley (sp? is that a word?) strips of cute Christmas fabrics along the bottoms of those plain white kitchen dishtowels and giving them out. Also mason jars of dried beans and herbs that I cute up with a circle of Christmas fabric tied around the lid with a printed recipe for bean soup.
  2. Bianca December 8, 2017 at 10:41 am #
    The only homemade gift this year will be from our gremlin to the grandparents - painted rocks for the garden. Easy peasy... I hope.
  3. Alex December 8, 2017 at 11:00 am #
    He sounds like Kate's boyfriend on this is us. Right?!?
  4. Nancy December 10, 2017 at 9:54 pm #
    This year I bought a bunch of picture frames at Goodwill, yard sales, etc. Then I spray painted them different colors and glued on a trinket or found item that reminded me of the recipient. Some of what I glued on were old costume jewelry, sea glass, a small cross etc. They turned out pretty cute but don't mess with it while drinking wine. I glued the cross on to the back of one frame! Ha! But I'm going to fix it. They all have to be done by Friday. for my girls' Christmas sleepover, which I can't wait for! I've also made homemade vanilla for gifts but it's too late to do that now. But maybe next year. You need to start that sometime in October. Thanks for the Voyeur rec but it sounds too creepy for me. I live alone and don't need to worry about that ish!
  5. Nancy December 10, 2017 at 10:01 pm #
    P.S. This will be a copycat but my friend put a string of lights going down the hall to her elf on the shelf. She has some really cute ideas. She had him zip lining on the mantel, sleeping in one of the kids' beds while he spent the night out, camping under the tree.........I wish they'd had this when my son was young. I would have been so into it but I'm sure I would have forgotten about him on occasion, too, and I'm sure my son would have touched him on day one! Good luck!!
  6. Klara Donovan December 10, 2017 at 11:56 pm #
    Say what you will about the snow globes, but they are the reason I found you, and for that I'll be eternally grateful ;)
  7. Kate December 21, 2017 at 7:38 pm #
    Ooh. Narrator sounds like John Goodman? Maybe with a side of Patton Oswalt? Thanks for reminding me about this movie; I’ve been meaning to watch it!
  8. ornaments October 21, 2021 at 8:16 am #
    And then all these things happen as the story evolves (like a murder! or was it?) and all these dates are off and a book is written and the fact checkers scratch their heads and you’re like, HONEY GET THE SILLY PUTTY WE’RE SEALING UP OUR VENTS.

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