Friday Flotsam

FR fr ID id AY ah. I mean ay.

flower shadows behind a sheet

RIDDLE ME THIS.

Let’s say you’re reading your gremlin a book. And the title of the book is the same strand of words as the first page of the book. And maybe even that random page in the beginning that’s not the COVER and not the STORY. The foreword?

So there’s the title, the foreword, and then the actual beginning few words of the book. DO YOU READ THEM ALL?

Like, okay.

Do you go, “It’s No Fun to Lose Your Balloon.” turn page. “It’s No Fun To Lose Your Balloon.” turn page again. “It’s no fun to lose your balloon.” swig a stiffy. <– (I do not like the way those words sounded just now.)

Or do you skip the foreword all together, and read the title and then the first page of the book? “It’s No Fun To Lose Your Balloon.” turn page. “It’s no fun to lose your balloon.” And basically change the tone of your voice when you read both, just to make it clear that one is the title and one of the actual story? Like a bold IT’S NO FUN TO LOSE YOUR BALLOON. glance at both gremlins to make sure they’re actually paying attention and not swallowing a small toy and/or dust bunny. And the a softer, “It’s no fun to lose your balloon.”

Orrrr do you skip the TITLE all together, knowing it’s the same strand of words as the first page of the book, and just start there, so not to bore slash confuse the small brood of spawn in front of you and yourself? What’s a parent to do!?

These are the things I think about at night.

hanging light

Where do bees go when you mow them?

And this isn’t some ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN talk.

Thing is, we have a lot of clover in our back yard, which I don’t mind!

But that means we have a lot of bees in our back yard, which doesn’t exactly bode well with barefoot children who play outside 87 hours of the day.

But more than that, I mow them. I mow over the bees. I mow bees.

Not on purpose! I’m not a bee hater. But they don’t get out of the way.  And I have a schedule to keep.

Where do they go!? Are they so tiny that they don’t get sucked up in the mower? Do they hunker down all Honey I Shrunk the Kids-style and roll their little bee eyes when they see me coming? Or do I have itty bitty bee bits in my grass bag?

WHERE DO THEY GO.

These are the things I think about at night.

fave (not fav) lipsticks

Can we talk about lipstick?

Dudes be like, I’M OUT.

One of the things I get asked about the absolute most in Instagram Stories is what lip color I’m wearing. Which I find funny because I’m not even into fancy lipsticking. I’m not even into fancy sticking! That came out way wrong.

So this is what we GOT, pigeons. My top, what is that, eight lipsticks that I rotate out every other half hour of the day. Not obnoxious behavior at all if you ask me.

Starting from the left: okay – so these lipsticks don’t even have a color name on each of the tubes. But it’s the Jena Taylor pink matte collection. Got them at TJ Maxx a short while back. Comes in a pack of five, but I like these three the most. I hope they last me FOREVER (sandlot style) because I can’t find them online for you! Waaaah.

The bottom black tube – Flirty and Fabulous by Elf! It’s a tiny bit more purple in person, but for some reason it WORKS and gives my soul fairies giddy pants. You guys ask about this one a loooooot. That and this next one. Hold on I’ll get it. Hold on.

Top black tube – Rimmel #620 – Call Me Crazy. ALL-TIME FAVE. It’s bright red, with a kiss of coral. Just perfect. Goes with stripes and solids brilliantly. This one is my most-asked-about! You guys have good taste. NO PUN INTENDED wahahahaha.

The bright orange tube – Revlon 040 – Rendezvous.  They call it a stain, but it’s really more of a shimmery, coral glide-y balm. Gorgeous and light. I love it when I don’t want a ton of color, but still want SUMMERY ESSENCE. You know we need the summery essence.

The bottom pink tube – Almay #20 – Pink Light. This is one of those barely-there shades. It’s very light but very pink. A soft pink! I like it on top of one of the brighter Jena Taylor colors, if I want to soften anything. Or on its own! It’s super lovely.

And the very far right silver tube – Revlon #855 – Geranium. This is another one of those, “omg what lipstick are you wearing!?”- colors. It’s VERY coral, but in this interesting pale hue that surprisingly brightens skin tone. I don’t understand science, but I sure dig it.

There’s the loot! None of this is sponsored, obviously. Just a borderline destructive obsession.

I STILL BLAME THE END OF PARENTHOOD.

dried beans

I said these actual words this week:

“Hey, Aaron. Your metal detector came in the mail today.”

This is my life.

gremlins with snowcones

Weekend plans?

It’s only going to be 83 degrees today! I almost typed that in all caps, but I feel like you’ve had enough for today. My super fun sister-in-law is coming to town today to celebrate her 41st, and our dearest dude pal is celebrating his 40th tomorrow. And I got a Dermaplane and Botox yesterday, so we’re ALL CELEBRATING SOMETHING.

Let’s just cut to the chase – which lipstick are you going to order? Besides all of them?

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11 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Lashley July 14, 2017 at 10:23 am #
    Option 2, with the voice changes, but I usually read the dedication, if there is one. My little dude used to say "FOR Mickey" in the cutest way at the beginning of The Giving Tree, which is actually dedicated to "Nicky." It's basically the only redeeming thing about reading that book.
  2. Andrea July 14, 2017 at 10:31 am #
    No bees, no humans said Einstein. So don't go mowing the bees or wishing their demise, Not one speck of food without them.
    • Bev Weidner July 14, 2017 at 10:45 am #
      Oh, I don't wish their demise! I just don't have time to shoo every.single.one.of.them out of the way before I mow. I don't mind bees!
  3. Ashley July 14, 2017 at 10:50 am #
    My oldest has made me read all the pages of a book, no skipping allowed. Even the "This book is for______ From ________" page
  4. Heather July 14, 2017 at 11:42 am #
    So I'm not the only one who's uncomfortable with the books opening with the title?! I have no scientific answer about mowing and bees, but I would guess that the wind created by the mower might be a warning to them, also they can burrow so maybe they hunker down. I would think that if mowing killed them you wouldn't continue to find them in your lawn. I'm not a lipstick person but always on a hunt for the perfect tinted chapstick, of course I had a really good one and then lost it a couple weeks later 😡
  5. Amanda July 14, 2017 at 12:13 pm #
    Ok now I'm going to worry every time the lawn gets mowed. We have a lot of bees because of the flowers we have planted EVERY. WHERE. I'm not a parent so I have no idea about the reading of books to littles. I'd probably be tempted to read the title page at least. I'm gonna need alllllllllllll of those lipsticks. Because I don't have 700 lipsticks at home already.
  6. Heather July 14, 2017 at 5:56 pm #
    My boys are elementary age, but what I used to do was just read the cover of the book. Sometimes when I got to the title page I would explain that it was the title page and show them where the title of the book was and the name of the author. I'm a novice beekeeper (this is my second year keeping bees), so a more experienced beekeeper might have better advice, but usually when something loud is coming towards the bees (or even the movement created by the mower) they tend to take off. If you have a bunch of honeybees when you are mowing I would just caution you because sometimes those loud noises can piss them off and they may want to attack/sting you. The best time to do any mowing would be in the early evening when most of the bees have headed back home for the evening and they aren't out foraging on your clover :).
  7. Nicole July 16, 2017 at 8:18 am #
    My boys have a book called 'Again' which has two title pages exactly the same except for the expression on the dragon's face. Usually I don't bother reading a title page but I do with that book because my four year old thinks it's hilarious.
  8. Lori Farmer, LipSense distributor #405606 July 19, 2017 at 7:45 am #
    I see you have a love of lip color like me! Unless you just enjoy reapplying it all day, perhaps you be interested in trying out LipSense? It is unlike any conventional lipstick!, stain or color! It stays put and lasts all day long! It's smudge-proof, kiss-proof, budge-proof, waterproof and healthy for your lips! I can totally see you doing an insta-story rocking this amazing life-changing product in any of the colors including 2 new coral tones that would be absolutely beautiful on you!!!! Your videos are hilarious and addicting and I KNOW you'd have a blast with this product on one! If you're interested in learning more message me! I'm on IG @lessonsandlipstick or @farmmomma! I'd love to hear from you!
    • Bev Weidner July 20, 2017 at 12:23 pm #
      Hey, Lori! I've had a LOT of LS peeps reach out over the last few months, and I even tried a tube! But truthfully, I didn't really like it. It stung when I put it on, faded immediately, and then NEVER came off. I feel like it takes the fun out of lipstick! Swapping in colors, reapplying, etc. I like being able to change my mind throughout the day, and LS was sort of imprisoning for me. You have to really commit to a color. But I'm glad it works for others! :)
  9. Klara Donovan July 24, 2017 at 1:38 am #
    Late to the party but wanted to share my parenting wisdom anyway because YOLO. I do read the title, the foreword and the cover page. But I have a couple of books where literally the only words in the entire book, over and over again, are the words in the title. So it goes like this: "Whose Poo?" (title voice) "Whose Poo?" (foreword voice) "Whose Poo?" (story voice) "Whose Poo?" (slightly different toned story voice) "Whose Poo?" (at this point I try and add a bit of genuine curiosity to my voice to keep him interested) And so on, and so on. Whoever said parenting wasn't glam AF?!

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