I’d like to clarify that what you are about to see is not from an episode of the X-Files, but in fact actual food.
Would you just look at that?! It’s mega creepy, isn’t it? I can’t tell you how dangerously yummy it is. Even if it looks like tarantulas baked on some puff pastries.
It’s black trumpet mushrooms, you guys. Black trumpet mushrooms! You buy them dried. You can get them anywhere you buy dried mushrooms. I like dried mushrooms.
Anyway, I was headed to a little tapas party at my girl’s house last week, and I wanted to bring something baked, warm, and weird.
Think I achieved it?
Don’t answer that.
Okay, let’s walk through this suuuper simple appetizer recipe, so you can watch the Halloween transformation of these ‘shrooms.
And you know what, you can swap in any mushrooms you want! Mix them up, or stick to cremini, or add in chanterelle, or swap in oyster, or put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your right foot and you shake it all ab- oh you want to stab me right now? Oh.
We all know butter and ‘shrooms are magic together. So melt your butter, add your (re-hydrated!) mushrooms to the pan. I let mine sit in a bowl of water for about 20 minutes, then pat them dry with a couple of paper towels.
Sauté the ‘shroomies (<–ugh) with some minced garlic and a little bit of chopped rosemary. Pinch of salt. You know.
In the meantime you’ll thaw some puff pastry. Remember to thaw! I forgot to thaw and had to put off the actual baking for another 40 minutes. Then I panicked because I could hear toddler napping stirs from the nursery and I thought my life was over and wouldn’t have time to finish shooting. And then I’d have to battle them off my pastries (not to be confused with pasties) because they so desperately need a snack after naptime. So remember to thaw. Because maniacal toddler behavior.
Then you’ll cut out little puff pastry circles with a cookie cutter. Or a jar lid! Whatevs.
Grate a little bit of Asiago cheese on each pastry round, then place a small heaping mound of tarantula – I mean mushrooms!- on top of the Asiago. Slide her into the oven for 15-20 minutes. That will give you enough time to cry/watch this video on repeat, because hello – girl speaks the truth.
LOOK. ^^^ I can’t help but be totally obsessed with the aesthetic of these. They look completely loco. Like black squid ink pastry explosions. Insane. I couldn’t love it more.
And let me tell you, those mushrooms have a gooooorgeously distinct taste. Almost like cocoa. They’ll slightly crisp up during baking, so the flavor/texture party in your mouth will probably call the cops. On top of that, the garlic and rosemary carry through like whoa.
I basically dare you to make this. If not now, save it for a Halloween appetizer! But also make them now. For practice. You know.
Don’t tell anyone I called them Tarantula Bites.