Pimento Cheese Play Date

Do you remember pimento cheese?

Pimento Cheese

Ohhh I’m just kidding! Of course you don’t. Not unless your birthday falls prior to Michael Jackson’s 1982 release of Thriller.

You might cringe when you think of the tub o’ paste that your grandma used to serve to you in summertime sandwich form, but I’m here to say, there’s a revival among the lands! A pimento cheese revival. Glory hallelujah, you guys.

Last week I had a play date with Zooey Deschanel, I mean a good friend of mine at her (siiiiiick) home, and in true overzealous Bev form, I made it my play date duty to bring a vat of homemade pimento cheese, sliced radishes, crackers and bitters for our lemonade. Duh.

I was thrilled to get out of the house a bit and mingle with an actual adult human being, because we’ve been watching way too much Robin Hood lately. So much that I was starting to become physically attracted to him. Like, legitimately crushing on a cartoon fox. I’m basically disgusting.

Pimento Cheese

Natalie was super excited because this was her second play date with her little boyfriend Theo. Here he comes, Nat! Just look at her. All filled with schoolgirl glee. There he is! He’s coming to see you!

Pimento Cheese

Oh. Just get used to it now, honey. They all leave you.

Pimento Cheese

Next time try not to talk so much about teething drool pools. Men don’t like that.

Pimento Cheese

Men also don’t like it when you mix lavender essential oil with their toothpaste, but we’ll talk about that later in life.

Pimento Cheese

This is Zooey telling me all about what’s going to happen between her and Nick on the new season of New Girl.

See that adorable little lady in green to the right? And see that pane of glass covered with cardboard behind her? Last time we were play dating, Stella’s little dancing self took a tumble and landed face-first into that pane. Dudes, we’re talking so much broken glass, so much blood you could rent a canoe for the day, a trip to the ER and seven ‘mongo stitches in her little forehead. We made sure she sat, chained and duct taped to the floor in the corner this time around.

Pimento Cheese

Here she is, trying to convince Natalie that she should be wearing the hat instead of Will. She was okay with it until she ran her fingers through a pool of Will’s barf in the bill.

Pimento Cheese

Awww, Nat and Theo sharing their first dinner and a darling round of footsie together. You’re picking up the tab, right, no-pants-man?

Pimento Cheese

Save me some, Stella. No seriously, stop eating. I’ve not had any yet. PUT THAT BACK.

Pimento Cheese

Please don’t toot on Theo, Will. Things are going so well between us all.

So, the cheese. Easiest thing ever. There are toooons of recipes out there, and they all have similarities to them. I added cream cheese to mine and just a hint of mayo because I wanted the creaminess to come from another cheese. So yeah, three cheeses in this piece. Sweet baby ponies.

Pimento Cheese

You just combine it all in a food processor and voila. Shuttin’ grandma DOWN.

I have absolutely no idea what that means. I love you, grandma.

You need to make this. It’s obviously a vicious cheese fest, with a subtle kick of spice and the tiniest hint of tangy pickle essence. Let’s start a band called Hint of Pickle Essence. Our music will just be the sound of us chomping on pimento cheese.

Did I just ruin this entire post?

Pimento Cheese

Don’t answer that.

Pimento Cheese:

What it took for about 2 cups:

* 1 1/2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
* 1/2 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
* 4 oz (half a block) cream cheese
* 1 (4 oz) jar pimento
* 1 Tbs. mayo
* 1 clove garlic
* 1 baby dill pickle
* 3-4 pickled jalapenos
* 3 tsp jalapeno juice (from the jar)
* 1 pinch of salt and pepper
* few dashes of hot sauce (I used Tabasco)

Combine, well, everything in a food processor. Pulse pulse pulse until you get the consistency and texture you like. I like a little bit of chunk in mine, so I stopped a tad early. Add a little hot sauce right at the end for that extra POW. If you think it’s a little too thick, and you like your cheese a wee bit smoother, spoon in another Tbs. of mayo and give her a quick pulse.

Invite your frans over and snickidy snack!

Pimento Cheese

And bonus! Save the pimento jars and make quick candles for Christmas gifts. I used cypress essential oil in mine because I’m a hippie.

 

 

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21 Responses to Pimento Cheese Play Date

  1. Lesley September 18, 2014 at 11:11 am #
    You spoke of picklywicklyness....you aren't living until you add these to your cheese. Rhymed. SMack. http://www.lovelesscafe.com/recipes/babettas-bread-butter-pickles/
  2. Barb September 18, 2014 at 11:26 am #
    Is that candle my Christmas gift?? You better be makin me something else too fool!!
  3. Jamie September 18, 2014 at 12:06 pm #
    Okay, fine, I'll try pimento cheese. It's not exactly and Oregon staple. The cute baby pics convinced me. BTW, would Hint of Pickle Essence play a lot of salty pirate music? = )
  4. Renae September 18, 2014 at 12:43 pm #
    can I use Greek yogurt in place of the mayo, or will it not be the same?
    • Bev Weidner September 18, 2014 at 1:28 pm #
      You can absolutely use Greek yogurt!
  5. Jenn L @ Peas and Crayons September 18, 2014 at 1:11 pm #
    dying. of. laffs. also, my husband has a freakish obsession with p-cheese and I'm totally making this post-deploy. You had me at cream cheese!
  6. Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar September 18, 2014 at 1:34 pm #
    bahaha baby play dates are too dang cute. Also, this dip looks FAB!
  7. Averie @ Averie Cooks September 18, 2014 at 3:47 pm #
    Love pimento cheese! Way too much! I could eat that whole bowl! pinned :) Love the babies. They're MOVING. And it looks like pretty fast! Happy chasing!!
  8. Aggie September 18, 2014 at 6:08 pm #
    I expect you over with a vat of pimento cheese & babies on Tuesday :)
  9. lisatberry September 18, 2014 at 6:50 pm #
    Oh yum I love pimento cheese but have never made it. Do you have to drain the pimentos or use the liquid that comes with them?
    • Bev Weidner September 19, 2014 at 6:59 am #
      There's such a tiiiiiny amount of liquid in the pimentos, it's not worth draining. So, dump her all in!
  10. Ashley @ My Midwest Table September 18, 2014 at 7:50 pm #
    Mind if I face-plant in that bowl? No? Ok. Pimento cheese is on my list to make. My mother-in-law gave me a Lutheran church cookbook so long ago. So many throwback recipes, including pimento cheese. (And so many Jello recipes.) Anywaaay, this pimento cheese. Must try! And the babies. So ridiculously sweet!
  11. Leslie September 19, 2014 at 8:37 am #
    she's so cuttteeee. i want to eat nat.
  12. Natasha of NatashasKitchen.com September 21, 2014 at 10:13 pm #
    What a fun playdate! So much joy :) I recently discovered and purchased some DoTerra essential oils. What are your favorite oils? I have three so far; lemon, breath (which is a blend of eucalyptus and others to help open those sinuses) and lavender.
  13. Kiss The Chef September 26, 2014 at 8:54 pm #
    2 words - smoked mozzerella. TRY EEEETTTT. Add that, or smoked cheddar if you can't find the mozz, and wait for your mouth to explode. It's like having bacon in it, without the bacon!! But, who am I kidding. BACON would be great in it, too.... And this is from a GA girl whose Mimaw always made it with WAY too much Dukes mayo, but it was always gone in 2 minutes, anyway!!! Next day, if any is left, slather on great bread, add BACON, and grill in a little butter. Best grilled cheese ever....
  14. Teresa M Ragudo February 5, 2017 at 9:56 am #
    OMG!!!! I just made this! I made it 100% plant based using Kite Hill almond cream cheese and Follow Your Heart Cheddar and Monterey Jack. I'm not sure if I am going to stuff jalapenos, mushrooms or just my face!!!!!! :P LOVE this!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. One Recipe, Two Meals: Stuffed Burgers with So. Much. Cheese. | socibuz - June 7, 2016 […] As in, stuff enormous beefy burgers with fabulous cheeses: white cheddar for the littles and my homemade pimento cheese for the adults! If you’ve never made pimento cheese from scratch, I mourn for you. It is […]
  2. One Recipe, Two Meals: Stuffed Burgers with So. Much. Cheese. – Chiles Kitchen - June 7, 2016 […] As in, stuff enormous beefy burgers with fabulous cheeses: white cheddar for the littles and my homemade pimento cheese for the adults! If you’ve never made pimento cheese from scratch, I mourn for you. It is […]
  3. One Recipe, Two Meals: Stuffed Burgers with So. Much. Cheese. – Sharrit! - June 7, 2016 […] As in, stuff enormous beefy burgers with fabulous cheeses: white cheddar for the littles and my homemade pimento cheese for the adults! If you’ve never made pimento cheese from scratch, I mourn for you. It is […]
  4. One Recipe, Two Meals: Stuffed Burgers with So. Much. Cheese. – AllMagNews - June 7, 2016 […] As in, stuff enormous beefy burgers with fabulous cheeses: white cheddar for the littles and my homemade pimento cheese for the adults! If you’ve never made pimento cheese from scratch, I mourn for you. It is […]

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