Dudes. Hark. Are you seeing that light coating of drizzleness sliding down those lemon slices? I don’t want to give anything away, but it’s butter. Pure unadulterated butter. It’s soft butter whisked with white wine and garlic and parsley and lemon juice. But I don’t want to give anything away. And see what’s under all […]
T-minus 48 hours until I go on vacation, y’alls. Okay so what does “T-minus” mean anyway? I always feel like whoever says it needs to be wearing aviators, small headphones and a brown bomber jacket. Teddy bear-minus? Thunderstorm-minus? Tap shoes-minus? Tomato hummus-minus? I’m going to look it up. Hold on real quick . . . […]
You know how when you get chills little bumps raise up all over your skin? “Goosies” as J-Lo calls them? Okay, when I get the chills, they raise up in little patches. And ONLY on my left arm. Like, random little goosie patches. My right arm is completely normal, chill bumps performing gorgeously in an […]
My microwave is haunted. No, it really is. When I heat up anything, and then close the door after I’ve taken the food or coffee out of it, it starts up again, but only for a few seconds, like maybe six total, and then stops. Do you think it’s the ghost of my old kitchen […]
Don’t even think about turning on that oven! That was my super nauseating announcer-y voice, could you tell? Did you just get the urge to throw your laptop in front of a semi-truck and set yourself on fire? It worked! Speaking of fire, I just got my new glasses in yesterday and they are booooooss. […]
I’m not actually giving REE away, you guys. Marlboro Man would haaave myyyy hiiiiide. But I do have a little sumpin’ sumpin’ to BUTTER YOU UP, OMG I sure did just say that. But wait! Chill your cheelah because I actually DO want to talk about this butter for a smidge. Wow, I just got […]
I wish I could replace the inside of my mouth with this. AND, I’m just now figuring something out. I think angel hair pasta might be my favorite pasta in the entire world, including Vermont. I dunno, something about the thinness, the slipperiness of it, how evenly it gets coated by sauces, how much of […]
Hearty summer grain salads are ALL THE RAGE RIGHT NOW. Could you tell I was using my best car salesman voice? Actually they would say, “GIT YER BULGUR SALAD BEFORE IT’S GONE GONE GONE.” Why do car sales people repeat words? “I’m sorry honey, I know we were in the middle of fertilizing the flower […]
I know. Just laugh it out now and you’ll feel better. I just figured, if I can’t beat . . . myself, join . . . myself? Wait, that’s not it. When I figure out how it goes, I’ll get back to you. But guess who was pleasantly surprised with the refreshing beverage of the […]
I don’t WANT to annoy the living tar out of you. I don’t. So let me just get this teeny tiny thing out of the way real quick before we begin, cool? Just bear with me. …..sweet Lordy Lou almighty beans of the earth he diddly done won it. Not that this was a shocker, […]
