Fffffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrffffffffffdddddddfffffaaaaaay. I forgot about popping my fingers! I realized last night on the couch while I was reading that I think I completely forgot about finger popping. I had a weird urge to pop my fingers and show Will about said finger popping and I was like, “Wait, when was the last time I did […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrr! i d a y . . . Things things things! Do you ever say that to your friends? I do. When it’s catchup time I feel like I say one of two things. Actually three things. One is: “Tell me something good.” I say that a lot. And also, “Tell me things!” I say […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrri forgot to start the dishwasher last night. Okay, I want to do something fun this morning. (well, fun to me, that is.) And this might require you to wake up that noggin of yours, but I swear it’s worth it! (well, worth it to me, that is.) But just give it a try! Let […]
Frrrrrrrrrrri think we’re officially past the snow days! Possibly. Maybe? Okay, you guys. I heard an ad for VRBO the other day during one of my podcasts, and the girl pronounced it like VERBO. Not V R B O. Not the letters all in the row, but like VERB plus O. Hahahahah! WHAT? I never […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeleeeedeeeeyeeeeeee. Ya know the scene in When Harry Met Sally when Sally and Joe are at the airport and she’s about to board, and Harry walks past her, does a double take, then keeps walking? With me so far? And then Sally goes, “Thank God he couldn’t place me, I drove from college to New […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrwelcome back! To Flotsam that is. We’re back. Back at it. Swinging bats. Just kidding I don’t know what that means. But do you want to know what I really really want? I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want. I need new pajamas. New PJs for 2024! I’ve said this for […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeederrerereree! If you were a mall, what stores would you have? That’s an odd question, let me revamp that. Let’s say you were the PLAZA. The KC Plaza. And you were getting bought by new owners, and they needed a list of stores to bring to the Plaza, what would those stores be besides Aesop, […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrit’s beginning to look a lot . . .like . . . I do love December 1st. It’s officially the OFFICIAL time of Christmas officialness. (I’m good with words.) There’s a different kind of magic in the air today, don’t you think?! The lights are twinkling in the streets, the elf is back (ugh), the […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri need help. (shocked, you are?) We need to discuss carpet cleaner. Like a rug cleaner. Like the one directly below my house shoes right in this instant permeating dog piss up into my nostril caverns like a middle finger of doom. (I feel great why do you ask?) Charlie knows better, yes. But she’s […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrah! tah! sa! ma! da! You want to know what else I can’t stand? (I’m feeling fine! Why do you ask?) SEEING SOCKS. Like out of a tennis shoe. Poking out like a little nosy turtle head. Nerp. I know it’s trendy. I know it’s cool with the Gen Z, but they’re wrong. I can’t […]
