FFFFFFalksdjflasdjfad erder. Why no, a toddler’s not at my laptop, why do you ask? Guys, listened to what happened. And I’ll make this short. (FAT CHANCE) So, we ordered this lovely outdoor sectional from Hayneedle. I’ve never bought anything from this site before, have you? And it arrives. And it’s a GIANT box. We carefully […]
FLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAHDEEEDAY. Do you sleep in a bra? Dudes be like, PASS. But, do you? Is this a thing? Sleeping in your bra? Over the 4th of July, I was drinking rosé absurdly early in the day with a couple of besties, and we were talking about boobs. (#duh) Sleeping in your bra came up, and […]
FfFfFfFfRrRrRrRrRrIIIIIIIIIIDAR. We’ve been here TWO WEEKS. Well, two weeks tomorrow. Two weeks tomorrow night at 6:13pm, EST. Not that I’m that nerdy loon who remembers every time stamp in life. (read: I’m that nerdy loon who remembers every time stamp in life.) But do you want to know what majorish slash minorish but still sort […]
FRRRRRERDER. We’ve been here a WEEK. Well, a week tomorrow. A week tomorrow evening at 6:13pm, EST. Not that I’m that psycho freak who remembers every time stamp in life (read: I’m that psycho freak who remembers every time stamp in life). But it feels like 13 YEARS ago. In that healthy glow way. EXCEEEEPT […]
FLRRRRRRoopey. Er, Fridya. Friday. I’m not one who picks at zits. Or scratches as scabs. Or pops those awful sunburn liquid bubbles. You’re like, “WTF HOW DID I GET HERE.” But you know that flaky brown stuff, what is it – CRADLE CAP that’s on top of your kids’ heads? And it gets darker in […]
f R r R i I d D a A y Y. OKAY. I might be doing motherhood wrong. Because listen to this. So, I’m a person who needs water by me all the time. It’s on my table next to my laptop, in my purse when I run errands, in the car when I […]
FR ID a Y. Let’s get into hair masks! You’re like, “Your face is a hair mask.” Guys, I’d never even heard of hair masks until like a month ago! A MONTH AGO. And I was trying to figure out why and then remembered I’m an old lady. Are you into hair masks? The only […]
Freaky Friday. Not really. Just Friday. Unless you think I’m freaky. On Friday. Then Freaky Friday. I think I’m ready for a house cleaner. Not like, a constant cleaner, always here. But someone to come in every other week to do the hardcore stuff. I think I’m ready. And you know what, I’m finding that […]
FR- two four six eight, who do we apprecia-IDAY. Hiiieeee! It’s been a while. And by a while I mean on this series. Not this week. I skipped last week. But not today. Because I was in L.A. Not today. But last week. Just on Friday. Because I was in L.A. You following? No? Good. […]
FRIPPITY FROO. FRIDDILY DOO. Guys I think I have to go to jury duty. JURY DUTY. That dreaded bright yellow card landed itself in my mailbox the other day, and the moment I saw my full name in all caps on the front, my heartbeat immediately fell through my butt. JURY DUTY. So I filled […]
