Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRR!

The other day Natalie said, “Yoo-hoooooo!” to Will when she was looking for him. Like in this current year she said, “Yoo-hoooooo!” all filled with joy whilst peeking into his room. And I swear to you a pinky was extended.

No one says, “Yoo-hoooo!” anymore. Do you know anyone who says, “Yoo-hooooo!”? Give them a hug. Right now. Do it. (wait never mind stay six feet away)

To make matters even MORE GONE WITH THE WIND, my mom texted me the other day after I sent her a photo of the twins taken by a photographer at school earlier this winter before the world broke (I still need to show you. Your ovaries will drop kick you in the boob) and she responded with, “Well forevermore!”

WELL FOREVERMORE, you guys.

W E L L F O R E V E R M O R E.

MOM PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A CIRCLE OF CIVIL WAR SOLDIERS WEARING A CORSET AND NINE FOOT WIDE GREEN HOOP SKIRT.

I could barely get up from where I was sitting because my entire body turned to room temperature salted butter but I managed to grab Aaron from the other room, “Look what my mom just texted OMG!” We both collapsed into adorative laughter and vowed to say that phrase for the rest of time.

Yeah I just made up the word adorative, wanna make something of it?

This is what I think about.

You’re like, this oughta be good.

I read a lot.

You know that.

But what I wonder – is when teenagers (or even tweens) are the main protagonists of books, and their grammar is not exactly refined just yet (they sound like complete morons), do you think book authors cringe when writing out the voices of teenagers? Because they can’t sound too posh, or too smart. They have to sound like their believable age. I’ve always wondered when I read the voices of younger kids, if it damages the soul of authors to have to type and talk like that.

Does that make sense?

Never mind.

Aaron and I have a debate going, and I need you to back me up on this.

Pillowcases – the openings obviously open up to the sides of the bed, not the INSIDE of the bed.

He said to me the other day, and I swear to you these were his words to my actual face, “It doesn’t matter.”

. . . IT DOESN’T MATTER?

I’M SORRY ARE YOU A BARBARIAN RIGHT NOW?

It most certainly does matter, you freak!

He goes, “I just prefer the closed part facing the inside of the bed.”

Okay am I on some hidden camera show right now WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. HERE, LET ME TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE.

Now I know you’re probably like, “Most pillowcases nowadays have those ends that fold in, so nothing is open.” I KNOW THAT, OKAY. But some (a lot) of our pillowcases do not fold in, therefore leaving an opening at one side. Which should face the outside of the bed. Not the inside. It is wildly unsettling to imagine them any other way.

I feel just fine today, why do you ask?

However, homeschooling can go ahead and rot in hell.

I’m not even ashamed to admit I’m a perfectly awful homeschool teacher. The worst. There’s something about my DNA and lack of patience that puts me right in the lead for horrific teacher award. I miss our teachers so much. My kids miss them so much. How you all do it, I’ll never know. If schools don’t open back up in August I might just punch a plant.

SPEAKING OF – tell me about how you’re all feeling with the way things are opening up in your town. We’re in Phase 1 of the grand Kansas reopening, and I’ll tell you, there’s a shift in town. So much activity. So many people. It makes me nervous. HOWEVER, from what I gather during our weekly stroll around the Village is that people are taking it all seriously and being respectful. Wearing masks, keeping a distance, hand sanitizers in every pocket.

We’re still gonna play it stay safe by mostly staying at home. Little errands that are unavoidable, we’ll mask up and be mindful about it. Still ordering curbside takeout. Doing what we can to support local and small biz so that they’re THERE on the other side. We’re not out of the woods yet. This ain’t the time to get careless because numbers are starting to decrease. Celebrate the progress, yes! – but wear that mask and be safe. And if you’re not a mask wearer, please be kind to those of us that do wear them. It doesn’t hurt a thing to be careful, and we all need to be on the same side in this.

I didn’t even mean to go down this path. But there it is. Be kind, y’all.

Weekend plans?

Besides incorporating YOO-HOOOO and WELL FOREVERMORE into every single sentence?

I’m finishing Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo today (dying for the big surprise at the end!) and giving Will’s bookshelf a crisp coat of white. Other than that – patio, wine, runs, rest.

OH and I might try and convince Aaron to build us an A-frame forest playhouse slash English garden sunroom. Think he’ll go for it?

Don’t answer that.