Aaron, the Twins Found a Way Out of This Corn Maze! . . . Aaron?

Warning: the following post contains approximately 2895736134 photos of feet. Not bare feet! Oh gosh no. But like, shoes. Ugh. These things can’t be helped.

Also, I’m starting to feel like these flaaaaawless crispy fall weekends are only but a few left. WAH. How does it all happen so fast? Where does the time go?! And why won’t it take my jowls with it?

Also also, because the law: the awesome folks over at Babyganics sent me an extremely generous care package full of goodies to try out. You know the brand. You’ve seen it at Target. The baby-safe world? The green and white! Yep, yep, that one. Anyway, I’d never tried their products, so I got to dabble slash plunge myself in their stuff, and I gotta say, I seriously, genuinely dig it!

Hold on real quick, look at this freaking tree. Will you just at this.freaking.tree.

GAH.

Anyway, so I’ve been using their products for a few weeks now, and they asked me to give you guys a glimpse of what their goods look like in my life. That’s why I have so many feet photos! Just kidding.

Also, did you know that Babyganics was founded by two dads? Isn’t that rad? Aaaaand it’s all formulated using gentle, plant-based ingredients. Mama dig. (<—sick)

Um, Kansas City. Did you guys know we have a waffle truck!? Apparently they’re these crazy Liege waffles that take YEARS AND YEARS (not really) to make. The babies split one and nearly tried to take my hand off when I asked for a bite. What’s the old saying? Don’t bite the disgustingly under-manicured hand that feeds you? I think that’s how it goes.

We got the autumn-spiced waffle and my face is now forever frozen in a state of never ending euphoria.

Also, I think Nat has a huge guacamole stain on her jean jacket, so if we could just look past that please. Coo, coo.

This is me pretending yet again to be Sally Albright, strolling through Central Park (er, Harry Wiggins Trolley Trail) with her best friend Harry Burns (okay, toddlers) amongst a sea of beautiful burnt oranges, browns and reds. And power lines. Definitely power lines.

One particular Babyganics product I’ve especially fallen in love with are the hand & face wipes. I usually just use regular wipes (hahahaha! gross), but these, even though fragrance-free, still have a pleasant, fresh essence that doesn’t send the babies into an unruly rage. This is good news for moms who enjoy having human friends.

ALSO, toy, table & high chair wipes. Hellooooo, brillz. (I could totally backspace and spell out the word brilliant, but I’m feeling extra tool-y today.)

So after our neighborhood waffle stroll, we took the grems to their very.first.corn.maze.

You guys, this is a toddler’s dream come true slash adult’s worst nightmare. Set them down in the open wild and let them run free? Are you kidding? No. Yes. No. Help. No.

Even though I thought we were going to be eaten by giant demon corn stalk slasher heads, the kiddos loooooved every second. And contrary to popular Snapchat beliefs, we did in fact make it out alive and slightly unscathed. I think.

However, my collar bone still hurts today. I’m not sure wh- oh crap.

One quick tip! Be in extreme shape when you take your toddlers to a corn maze. You’ll run. A lot. And probably weep 3/4ths of the time.

This might be one of my most favorite photos of all time ever in the history of ever and time and love.

There were four little mazes in all, and we’d enter through each entrance, and exit through each . . . entrance. We’re really good at math.

THEN, we decided to go on a hay ride down this super secret James Bond path that wraps around the whole field and maze. The sun was starting to slightly set. The hues of the sky were falling into gorgeous muted gray tones. And I was a massive sissy face and thought the giant demon corn stalk slasher heads were going to swallow us whole at any moment. Basically, never go out in public with me.

Oh hi, FACE WIPES. Life safer.

Then we tried to let the babes pick out some carving pumpkins for this coming Halloween weekend, only they were more interested in the rotting, mangled ears of corn on the ground. How is this my life?

Oh hey, babies! While you’re up there, would you mind looking for that needle I dropped?

What corn maze slash pumpkin patch is complete without a giant germy dried corn box? Woo hoo!

Aaron was like, “Sit down in it with us!” and I was like, “Sure why don’t I just LICK ALL THE CORN while I’m at it.”

Oh, name this movie scene: fingers slowly immerse in deep corn. Except in the real movie I think it was beans? Stop grossing out.

See that hand sanitizer right there? ^^ I pretty much poured it all over their faces and bodies and life.

Contrary to popular belief, that is not in fact a severed turkey femur on the ground. It’s an ear of corn. I think.

However, my right elbow still hurts toda- oh no.

We ended our lil’ weekend of DELIVERANCE with a cozy park picnic down the street! Safe from all the giant demon corn stalk slasher heads. Only, I made an entire platter of cheese and crackers for me, and some popcorn and animal crackers for them. But what did they eat? What did they eat all of, before I could enjoy even a second delightful bite? MYCHEESEANDCRACKERS. That’s what.

That’s what.

And no, I still have yet to get my roots done, thank you very much. I’m going for the junkyard ombré look.

Park essentials ^^, natch. (Can I also just tell you that Babyganics has LIP & FACE BALM? Obsessed. I think they include the word face because it’s a super thick tube, allowing you to rub that silky goodness all over your entire face without a second thought. At least that’s what I did. Hold on let me read the instructions.)

Annnnnd of course, we always end the day with a cuddly baby twin gremlin sudsy bubby bath sesh. Look at those happy giggles! That’s it. I’m having 284723 more babies.

Don’t tell Aaron I said that.

Thank you thank you deeply, Babyganics for all the fabulous, baby-safe loot! No unsafe additives. Cute, yet playful, simple packaging. Healthy and awesome and good. Mama dig. (<—why do I do it?) #growboldly

Okay so like, do you think I should have my collar bone checked out?

*this post was in partnership with Babyganics. But like, all opinions are obviously my own, duders.