Friday Flotsam



We’re getting so close with this renovation. One week left. And I (think?) I mean it! We’re two weeks and a day in, with sixish days to go. It’s so dusty. It’s such chaos. It’s such a mess. Nothing is where it’s supposed to be. The bottoms of our feet and shoes are coated with sheet rock dust and dried drywall mud. Planks of extra sheet rock and trim are leaned against all the walls. The kitchen door is blocked off. There’s a huge shopvac in my view 88% of the time. A few plants are suffering in their temporary lower-lit spots. (I should probably rearrange today.) It smells like a construction site. I’M SO EXCITED!

I’m staying chill. You just have to. The Tooth Fairy has come twice during this ordeal and she can’t handle anymore losses. We’re so ready to get back into a school and work rhythm I can barely sit still. I need to shave my legs.

All to say, we’re getting super close on this renovation and I have a glossy colossal fiddle fig to plop in a high corner. (oh, just you wait.)

Also we’re starting a band called Glossy Colossal.

Let’s play a round of UNPOPULAR OPINIONS. I’ll start.

I’ll never be into newborn skin-on-skin photos. With the dad. Show me the propped-up, bare-armed, tired-eyed, love-stricken moms all day long, but I’m a hard pass on the dad photos. Nope.

Also, grapefruit juice. What on earth. It’s pretty, yes. But it’s a bitter, gland-grabbing glass of nonsense and I’ll just stick to water. (however, actual grapefruit reminds me of my grandmother and how she’d make me and my sister eat a half grapefruit when we were kids visiting her house in south Arkansas. She had these tiny grapefruit spoons, like specific narrow spoons just for grapefruit, and I was more enraptured with those than the actual grapefruit. The prop. Of course.)

Lastly, anywho. I think I’ve told you this before. I’m sure I have. The word anywho MAKES.ME.MANIACAL. What makes a mouth physically form and place the word who in the place of way? I’ll never wrap my head around it.

Your turn.

Okay, I just blew my nose and the sounds that it made in my head sounded exactly like, and I kid you not, my sound machine. Like when you turn the machine on and for some reason it’s not on the setting you had it on the night before. A too-loud or too-brash white noise, so you change the settings and it goes through this selection of various white noises, some aggressive and some more oceany. THAT WAS MY NOSE JUST NOW and I’m laughing harder than I have in a while. That’s it.

Thanks for being there for me.

Weekend plans?

We’re hitting the pool today (MAYBE for the last time?), have an outdoor goodbye pickleball farewell party for my friend Trisha and her fam tomorrow (waaaah. but also: i get her fiddle fig!), Aaron may smoke some pig wings (yes, pig wings) on Sunday, and I’m gonna finish That Summer and start our new round. I’ll post that update in Stories!

From this week, in case you missed it::: Your August mixtape! All choral music. But like, good choral. Trust me. I love that so many of you have written and are so in awe. Makes my freaking day. And also, the Ploughman’s Lunch! It’s so fun, so simple, super cute and just make your summer about it, okay?

Okay, when do your kids go back to school? And just how ready are you for it?

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9 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Linda S August 6, 2021 at 9:44 am #
    I knew I really liked you when I first stumbled upon pics of your perfect backyard accompanied by your even wittier prose, but that hard pass on the skin-to-skin dad pics? Woman, YES!! Why, why is that a thing? My unpopular opinion is that I don’t like Disney (or any theme parks). Walking around in an oppressive heat and you can’t even drink? Ugh. Things we do for our kids though.
  2. Laura Lee August 6, 2021 at 10:26 am #
    They go back 9/1 for 3 days and then have 3 days off, #asinine. Starting middle school so that's a new adventure! More than ready for it, but worried they'll revert to "distance learning" again at some point because of Delta. I have a fig thats getting ratger colossal, perhaps I need to renovate...? I have no sweet cuddle photos with my guys. I found twins were too time consuming for that stuff, it was feed, burp, change and put back down over here.
  3. Nancy August 6, 2021 at 11:30 am #
    Unpopular opinion: fried eggs on top of everything are not necessary. if there must be a fried egg involved, just leave it on the side. I do not find the sight of an egg appetizing in the least. Also, Beyonce is not all that. I think I better keep my other real unpopular opinions to myself bec I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear them. :). I would like to say I really enjoyed your choral mixtape! My Dad was the organist and choir master at the school where he taught so your mixtape really reminded me of home and what it sounded like growing up in my house. Until I found out about The Beatles and The Rolling Stones! Ha! Hope you have a good weekend!
  4. Becky August 6, 2021 at 1:43 pm #
    Unpopular opinion-My ideal temperature is hot car temperature. It has been unseasonably cooler with 60° mornings and 75° afternoons and everyone around me is saying oh it's the perfect summer. No it's not! It's way to cold to swim in a pool. We only have 3 nice months a year give me 90° please!
  5. Ashley August 6, 2021 at 5:38 pm #
    I love hearing people’s unpopular opinions! Chocolate cake is a boring dessert. I’m very uninterested in Harry Potter. If it’s an unstaged photo of the dad, I’m ok with it. But don’t be posing for a photographer without your shirt on, dude.
  6. karina August 7, 2021 at 4:44 am #
    i really have a thing against the words twelfth (4 consonants in a row?? calm down!) and guffaw (just ew). we're going to a food festival today and i am beyond excited!
  7. Lol August 7, 2021 at 10:47 am #
    The double standards ? why is nudie mom baby pics ok but not dads? Ridiculous. (And no I’m not a man). No one wants to see your half naked boobs and ugly baby anyway…. My unpopular opinion is probably that moms are so freaking tiring and whiny ?
  8. Fore Firoe August 17, 2021 at 6:10 am #
    If you like flavored coffee, buy syrups and flavored creamers to make your coffee taste the way you like it.
  9. Showbox August 17, 2021 at 6:12 am #
    Whatever kind of drink you prefer—from iced tea to smoothies to bottled sodas—it’s cheaper to bring your own from home instead of buying it at a shop or vending machine while you’re out.

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