Ask, and you shall receive. Reggceive? Reggceive. No.
Let’s make egg salad!
NOW, I REALIZE that screaming isn’t necessary right now. So I’ll chill out and start over.
Now, I realize that egg salad is is a classic, delicate flavor that shouldn’t be willy nilly’d with, or else grandmothers all over the world (and graves!) will come together in protest and violently take me down and I’ll cry. I get that.
Mine stays pretty true to the original approach to this favorite historical lunch grub. Except for a few microscopic tweaks, because I like to be punched in the face.
Just look at that spread and KNOW WITHIN that you can do this. It’s all pantry and condiment staples.
Nothing overly jank.
BAWL THOSE AIGS.
Now, what I do for hard boiled eggs is this: six in a pot of water. Start the flames. Bring to a light boil. Nothing fierce. Set a timer for 10. Watch a mascara tutorial on Youtube. Hear the beep. Transfer the eggs to a super cold ice bath. Let ’em chill for a few. Go break up a fight between the four-year old gremlins over a TORN PRINCESS STICKER ON THE EAR OF A STUFFED BUNNY. Come back and peel peel peel under a small stream of cool water. The end.
Choppidy! Choppedy. Choppity? Choppety? Chopped.
So yeah, instead of full-on mayo, I swirl in a tad of Greek yogurt, juuuuust for a bit of HAYELTH and tang. And the jalapeno juice? It’s mellow, but adds the tiniest essence of heat that makes my soul freaky.
Instead of chopped celery I go with finely diced red onion. Be honest, are them’s fightin’ words?
And of course the dill relish adds that unmistakable pickle flavor that we can’t live without. At least I can’t. I used to eat those MONSTER pickles from creeper gas stations when I was little, and my Grandmother would have a bonafide conniption watching me shove that knobby green log into my face.
“You’ll ruin your supper!”
“Relaaaax, this is only my sixth one!”
You think I’m joking.
The trick is to chill it. Chill the salad. At least for half an hour. My bowl mix looks a little runny because I didn’t let it chill. You do remember the whole torn sticker on the stuffed bunny, right? Fires had to be put out, man.
Microgreens (or sprouts!) add a super delightful earthy zest. A sprinkling of smoked paprika adds a most subtle layer of depth.
And the honey drizzle at the beginning just balances the whole mess with a hint of sweet. It’s just glorious. Want to punch it.
So! Easter lunch? Easter snack? I mean, you’ve hard boiled 183427542356 eggs already, sooooooo.
Are we okay?
Tell me your egg salad voodoo ways! Do you keep it simple or do you take it to 11? Eggleven? Eggleven.