Friday Flotsam


garden flower

I forgot to tell you the craziest story!

Like, crazy.

It all happened long ago on the muggy afternoon of August 23rd, 1976.

Wait, that’s something else.

It was Father’s Day eve, 2017. A mere three weeks ago. Um, do you remember how hot it was?! Remember how I (adorably?) updated you every other half hour with temperature updates on IG Stories, and how many horrid degrees it was climbing throughout the day, and then that evening when the temperatures finally begin their blessed decline? Oh, you blocked that? Oh.

Well LISTEN TO THIS. It was like, 9:30pm. We had planned on hosting another outdoor movie night, since Aaron’s parents were in town, but thunderstorms were super wishy washy and hormonal, and couldn’t decide what the hay they were going to do that night. One minute the forecast said 90%, and then the next it dropped to 30%. And then two seconds later it was back up to 70%. JUST DECIDE, ALREADY, MAMA NAY NAY. (I call her Mama Nay Nay.)

Well, it started to rain, and rain hard. The winds blew in so fast and fierce, that we all scooped up our drinks and belongings in a panic and rushed in the house. A few minutes later as we were scattered around the house, readjusting our mindset to starting a movie indoors, we heard the loudest CRASH. Followed by this collective, “What was THAT?”  Only a couple of seconds passed before Aaron gasped from down the hall, “BEV. It’s OUR BEDROOM WINDOW.”

I ran down the hall to find huge chunks of glass shattered all over our bed. Actually, MY SIDE OF THE BED. (Mama Nay Nay, you peed at me for calling you Mama Nay Nay?)

Get this – an enorm wind gust straight up swiped our patio umbrella UP and OUT of its base, and straight.through.our.bedroom.window.

Uh, how much more Final Destination can you get?! Matter of fact, to the producers of Final Destination 6 – this one’s a freebie.

What if this had happened in the middle of the night? DUDES, I would have been cut ALL up.


We spent the next two hours cleaning up glass chunks and shards. And I spent the next two nights terrified of June Bugs making their way through Aaron’s botched duck tape job and eating my face.

The window was replaced 48 hours later.

I lived.

The end.


I made my first cold-pressed juice last night! And by that, I mean I blended a bunch of veggies into a massive jar of pulp, and then tried to strain it through a wire mesh sieve into a bowl, but that was taking too long so I transferred the pulp to a cheesecloth, which ended up working a lot better, until some of the pulp fell out of a small tear in the cheesecloth, getting in my drink and making me curse. Like I said, cold-pressed juice!

I’ve decided that cold-pressed juice is my new life. Actually, I’m not totally new to the trend. We had a juicer for yeaaars and yeaaars. But I threw it away a while back because it was a b to clean. And I do pick up a bottle here and there when I’m out running errands. But! I’m trying to figure out how to incorporate it MORE into my (almost, ugh) 41-year life. Slowing metabolism can suck it.

This is the thing. My blender is a complete piece of ish. It’s old and moody and cranktankerous. We got it as wedding gift over 12 years ago. In short, I need a new blender!

“…I mean, what is this, 1958? Give the little wife a blender?!” – name that movie.

You guys, give the little wife blender suggestions.

Thank you and goodbye forever.

Will with a sparkler, and me trying not to freak out


Eeeeeee, he knows about Joey and Pacey! And gah, it was so satisfying to finally see them get together, and to watch Dawson completely freak out on them.

BUT!  But but but.

Joey already freaking broke up with Pacey. Down by his boat, he said through misty eyes, “It’s over, isn’t it?” And Joey responded with shaky lips, “It has to be.”

And, I’m not TOTALLY hating Jen anymore. She’s sort of playing the quiet, wise advice giver right now. Dating Henry (those LIPS. but I do want him to stand up straight.), and starting to not have such crappy hair.

UGH. Three episodes left of Season 3. I’ll finish tonight!

Or right after I publish this blog post.

It’s fine.

garden beet appetizer

LET’S SAY YOU WERE SHRIMP. (<–not the the most eloquent way to open a new topic.)

Would you rather be coated and battered in:

Corn flakes?

Or potato chips?

Or coconut flakes?

Or nutritional yeast flakes?

(I think the words nutritional yeast flakes can rot in hell.)

cactus drawing

Weekend plans?

Other than a hair cut appointment tomorrow (should I get a buzz cut?), some massive closet shelf organizin’ this morning, some blender researchin’, and some canned rosé gulpin’, and I’m looking at a pretty light weekend, bra!

Sorry I called you bra.

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15 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Caitlin July 7, 2017 at 8:36 am #
    "And by that, I mean I blended a bunch of veggies into a massive jar of pulp, and then tried to strain it through a wire mesh sieve into a bowl, but that was taking too long so I transferred the pulp to a cheesecloth, which ended up working a lot better, until some of the pulp fell out of a small tear in the cheesecloth, getting in my drink and making me curse." I am so glad I'm not the only one who juices this way! Except, I don't have cheesecloth, but now I'm thinking I need one if it works better than the damn sieve. Also, if I were shrimp, I would choose to be coated in coconut flakes. :)
  2. Jennifer July 7, 2017 at 8:48 am #
    I highly recommend Blendtec blenders. We've had ours for a couple of years now, and we use it regularly. It works great, and when we had a problem with the pitcher, they sent us a new one for free. They're expensive, but totally worth it!
  3. Tif July 7, 2017 at 10:26 am #
    "I don't think you want the word "pit" on a wedding invitation, George." LOVE Father of the Bride!
  4. Erica July 7, 2017 at 10:48 am #
    Oh my goodness have you seen the "I remember everything" scene yet??? It's only the best few minutes of television ever.
  5. Jami July 7, 2017 at 11:02 am #
    Blendtec!!!! So good! Juicers suck! What a pain in the booty! That is crazy about your window! Very scary! Glad your cute little self wasn't in bed! And corn flakes! I love to smash them up and roll chicken in them and bake. It is good! How the hell do you have time to organize a closet? 😘
  6. Paula July 7, 2017 at 11:08 am #
    Vitamix, hands down. We make green juice all the time. It blends it so smooth we don't even bother straining. Also makes the best frozen adult beverages, like Frosé. Whipped cream in seconds.Clean up is a breeze. I could go on and on..... But I lost you at Frosé, didn't I?
  7. Vicky July 7, 2017 at 11:47 am #
    Vitamix is my fave (not fav).
  8. Missy Moore July 7, 2017 at 12:38 pm #
    Vitamix hands down. I rid myself of my pain - to - clean juicer after sucking it up and purchasing a Vitamix. Plus, they send you a ginormous cookbook with it that has excellent juice and smoothie recipes.
  9. Kelly July 7, 2017 at 1:56 pm #
    I highly recommend a Vitamix blender. I've had mine for nearly 5 years and I use it EVERY DAY, at least once. It's my most used small appliance. Though a bit spendy, it has an awesome warranty should you need to use it (I haven't had to). And if it died tomorrow I'd drop the money on it all over again (although it's still under its 7 yr warranty so there you go!).
  10. Amber July 7, 2017 at 2:02 pm #
    Vitamix. No question. I love my Blendtec, but I pine for that Vitamix stick thing that is like a billy club for those deviant chunks that sit on top of the whirring blade without settling far enough to get sucked in. Do it for the stick.
  11. Amanda July 7, 2017 at 2:24 pm #
    I have a Ninja blender and it's pretty awesome (though, confession, I've only used it a handful of times because I'm too lazy to drag it out then clean it up). GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!! Season three gives me a lot of feelings, even to this day, when I am much older than I was when I watched it the first time. Pacey Witter, man. Pacey. Witter. I have such a soft spot for him because he just needs to be loved! Specifically by Joey. This is probably around the time Jen stopped annoying me as well. Yes, Henry's lips. I can't be a shrimp because they gross me out, sorry.
  12. Emily July 7, 2017 at 2:33 pm #
    We got a factory refurbished Blendtec about a year ago, and we heart it. To the fullest. But if Vitamex is calling your name instead, I bet you can find factory refurbished versions of that too. It really makes them wayyyyyyy more affordable. Also, I'm totally stealing Mother Nay Nay. Thx. ;) TGIFFFFFF
  13. Anne July 7, 2017 at 3:35 pm #
    Vitamix 7500 Low Profile!!! Absolutely LOVE mine ❤️❤️❤️
  14. Shereen July 7, 2017 at 3:36 pm #
    I would definitely say a combo of cornflakes and coconut, because yum, and also crunchy! Glad you didn't die in the middle of the night by taking shards of glass to the face. That would suck hard. Maybe I DON'T want to move my bed around in the bedroom now :)
  15. Heather July 7, 2017 at 6:36 pm #
    Father of the Bride! I'm so so glad you weren't in bed when the window broke, scary! I'd be curious about corn flakes shrimp. One other thing, sort of related to your make shift juicing, the French press went camping with my husband so I used a rubber band to put a coffee filter over a mug and poured hot water over the coffee grounds in advice...don't, just go buy coffee :/

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