Friday Flotsam

Fayrid. I mean Fydair. I mean Fiyadr. I mean Friday.

massive tree in the spring

I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. (you’re like, “whoa she’s just diving right in.”)

And this is serious. Big time serious. Mammothy serious. Mega-mama-mouth serious.

How often do you buy new bed pillows?

Because I feel like I’m pretty good at this stuff! But yesterday, I was making our bed, and I picked up Aaron’s pillow, and it felt like a pile of turds, death and regret.

I’ve always heard that after a certain time, our pillows aren’t even filled with pillow anymore. It’s all just termites, roaches, dead snakes and botulism. And it’s like, okay, I can wrap my barfing head around that. BUT WHEN IS THAT TIME? How many months? Or is it weeks?! Oh no, don’t tell me it’s weeks.

Do you buy new pillows every quarter? Every six months? Every other hour? Seriously tell me because I’m going to take a blow torch to his later this morning and chant something from Craft.

leetle pals playing

So I’m almost done with LOVE. I think 5 episodes left? I’m still really liking it! (but I can’t stand HEIDI. grody. GREIDI. <–patent pending.)

Did you KNOW that the story line is loosely based on Paul Rust and his (lovely!) wife’s life together? And on top of that, his wife is actually a writer/producer on the show. Of course I got obsessed one night in bed, googling photos of them together, their wedding, how they met, what she’s like, what he’s really like, blah blah BLAH. He seems like, the coolest person ever to hang out with. Just like on the show. So does his wife!

And naturally, I’m also obsessed with Gillian Jacobs’ casual charm and that adorable break in her voice. I get that same break in my voice late at night, or after we’ve been out and I’ve been talking very loudly over a crowd. Or very loudly at all which is basically all the time.

Wait, are you gone?

lights at Extra Virgin


What’s your favorite facial sunscreen? Like, what you put on under your moisturizer. Or do you use a moisturizer with sunscreen in it? I use a glowy tinted bronzer/moisturizer, but I like something underneath it. Like sunscreen. But I just ran out of what I had, and I want to try something new. Something SWEET, BRA.

Sorry about the “sweet, bra” thing that just happened right now. My inner frat boy just reared its douchey head.

The Kauffman Center

So I have this new life mantra.

(you’re like, IF YOU GET ALL DR. PHIL ON ME I’M OUT.)

Naw naw, it’s all good.

Lately I’ve been telling myself, “It takes one day.” – which is very annoying and vague, I know. But what I mean is, it takes one day to change something. To make a good decision. To feel better about yourself tomorrow. Just one day. That’s it.

It’s very different though from ONE DAY AT A TIME. Because while that’s totally true and super important, it’s not really what I’m getting at. For me, “it takes one day” is bigger. But! – more focused and easier to mentally manage.

Let me back up. The other week I was feeling a bit meh about stuff. Me. Life. Things. STUFF, ya know. We all get like this from time to time. Then I had this strange mental shift, “Bev, it takes one day to feel good about who you are tomorrow.” (you already want to punch me. I know because I do, too.) So I had an apple. And then I jogged. And then no wine. (you’re like WHAT. I know.) What I did in one day affected the way I saw myself the next day. It was clearer. . . and lighter.

I guess what I MEAAAAAN is it’s not necessarily about the big picture. Or like, “Six months from now my arms are going to be super tone!” (<–which is totally fine to think) or, “A year from now I’ll be doing bigger projects!” (<–which is also totally fine to think.) But it’s not about that. It’s about today. Making tiny changes. Not being so dang hard on yourself. If you’re doing something in your day that sort of drags you down, change it! Do something else that frees you, not imprisons you. Today.

It takes one day.


Quick! – Toot, booger, armpit!

I feel better.

spring window

Weekend plans?!

Besides deleting my self help blog from your bookmarks?

It’s going to be a WASH here. Rain rain rain, awl day errr day. And only in the 50s! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT, ALMOST MAY?

I’m traveling to Wisconsin next week for work (hi, cheese tour), so I’m gonna rest and nest and tie some loose ends. And finish Love. And start 13 Reasons Why. And make a chickpea soup for you. And order the sunscreen you’re all about to recommend right now.

And go buy new pillows after I throw Aaron’s into a lake with a red dynamite stick attached to it.

The end.

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36 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Taylor April 28, 2017 at 8:12 am #
    I bought Hawaiian Tropics silk hydration face sunscreen last year and really like it!
  2. Allison Vizzo April 28, 2017 at 8:20 am #
    I tried both Coola and Supergoop in a birchbox a few years back and was really impressed! They're more on the expensive side so I'm currently using a netrogena clear face sunscreen. It does the job but doesn't feel quite as nice as the high end ones
  3. Darcy Sexson April 28, 2017 at 8:48 am #
    Costco is my solution to both of your questions. :) They have a two pack of foam bit (not solid foam) pillows for $10 that I buy every year. Also, they carry Olay Total Effects moisturizer with sunscreen that is light, but also really hydrating.
  4. The Sunny Side April 28, 2017 at 8:55 am #
    Toots, boogers, armpit! ? All good stuff. Hawaiian Tropics has a good, delicious spelling, non oily face sunscreen. Can't wait to hear your take on 13 reasons why...although you may be less panicked because your kids are still little. I'm all ????
  5. Jenna April 28, 2017 at 9:10 am #
    Origins A Perfect World with SPF 40 because I'm done getting new freckles. It's on the pricy side but my jar lasts for a while - 4 months and I'm not quite halfway done yet? On a rainy day or a day I know I'll be inside the whole time I might skip it but that's rare. Get new pillows, nice ones, and cover them with a waterproof hypo-allergenic pillow cover, and they'll last longer since the yucky stuff won't get in.
  6. Emily April 28, 2017 at 9:14 am #
    I am always searching for a face sunscreen that doesn't FEEL like sunscreen. You know, greasy AF. I liked a sample I tried from Coola of a mineral tinted sunscreen thing that felt like a primer. My other favorite is the Biore Rich Watery Essence Sunscreen. I got it from Amazon since its only sold in Japan or something. It feels like a serum on the skin and sinks in quickly. You should listen to the WTF podcast with Paul Rust. He is just so cute. And you'll hear two stories where he did bathroom business on stage for comedy. Gutsy Gus.
  7. Kristin April 28, 2017 at 9:15 am #
    Supergoop! City Snscreen Serum. A bit pricey, but soooo good!
  8. Melissa April 28, 2017 at 9:56 am #
    If we are on the recommendation track, anyone have a scent free moisturizer they recommend. I enter the isle with so many to choose from that I suddenly blink and find myself in the chocolate/wine aisle's my super power. I watched 13 reasons why, my 16 yr old daughter watched in her room and we both came out boohooing. She said it's remarkably real.
  9. Sarah Macon April 28, 2017 at 10:25 am #
    Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer is my GO TO! SPF20
  10. Jennifer April 28, 2017 at 10:29 am #
    I've been using the Cerave AM moisturizer with SPF 30, and I absolutely love it. Light, not greasy, doesn't smell like sunscreen (big pet peeve), and it just works. I got a terrible sunburn on my shoulders at a beer festival, and my face still looked perfect. Evidence.
  11. Laura April 28, 2017 at 10:35 am #
    Beautycounter Dew Skin with SPF is amazing! It's a tinted moisturizer with SPF, safe for daily wear on your face. And - free of harmful chemicals! I seriously love it and wear it every single day this time of year!
  12. Erin April 28, 2017 at 10:36 am #
    Love everything you write so just stop mocking ur self girl! Ok. Pillows. Target or Beyond. Every year when I remember! Spring is a good time for fresh pillows! Yes to sunscreen. Elta MD bc it's what all the celebrities use. Jk. My dermatologist recommendation and it's 46 SPF and it's a pump and it's available on Prime at Amazon and it's light for under my light foundation and everything else. Google it! It's the best.
    • Leah April 28, 2017 at 11:05 am #
      I second the Elta MD suggestion - I live in Phoenix, where the sun is no joke - and that sunscreen is light enough to wear under a tinted moisturizer with SPF (not goopy!) or alone. Don't by the tinted version though, I think it smell metallic!
  13. Kristen April 28, 2017 at 10:38 am #
    Kiss My Face is my favorite sunscreen under makeup. Or supergoop CC cream if I just want one step.
  14. Stephanie April 28, 2017 at 10:47 am #
    Eau Thermale Avène Mineral Ultra-light Hydrating Sunscreen Lotion SPF 50+ LOVE it, ultra light NON whitening. No brainer!
  15. Amanda April 28, 2017 at 10:55 am #
    Oh Bev, I have no idea how frequently one should replace pillows and I'm scared to find out. Mine are at least a few years old but they are memory foam and were expensive and I love them. I've used the Clinique face spf and like it pretty well. There's also a neutrogena one I used on vacation and it worked well. It felt less heavy than the clinique one.
  16. Laura April 28, 2017 at 11:25 am #
    We start thinking about replacing our pillows when they start to feel a bit deflated, which is usually when they are about 1.5-2 years old. But we never do. We buy new pillows about a year after we notice that we should probably buy new pillows. For some reason it's just one of those expenses I procrastinate on because it still feels like I JUST GOT NEW ONES by the time the "new ones" are starting to get lumpy and old.
  17. Elisabeth lawrence April 28, 2017 at 11:31 am #
    Elta MD - Untinted 46 face sunscreen. As a multi-time skin cancer survivor, it is a great choice. The Coola is also nice... might be slightly greasy with the humid KC summer. It used to be less greasy, and now more so. And for a really obscure brand- I like Glo Minerals Solar Shade 50... my true favorite! Obsessed with LOVE... how awesome/terrible is the teenage actress? Paul Rust is the best. And this is a great reminder that I've had "buy pillows" on my to-do list for over a year... and I just feel overwhelmed.
  18. Caitlin April 28, 2017 at 11:40 am #
    I just bought a new pillow a few weeks ago after more years than I should be admitting online. I was washing my previous pillows, but the satiny band around them was starting to fray so stuffing was going everywhere, rendering them unwashable. Plus I like my pillows fluffy and these had gotten sad and flat. And - what building is in your photo right before your life mantra? It's really cool!
  19. Cari April 28, 2017 at 12:29 pm # It's a bit pricey, but has lasted me for months!
  20. Christy Spencer April 28, 2017 at 3:34 pm #
    We keep our pillows for eleventy bajillion years, until they smell like dead puppies and teenage boys. But JUST THIS VERY MORNING, rather than buying new ones, I washed them all. Detergent, bleach, baking soda - soak forever in hot water, then wash. Dried them with wool dryer balls (you could use tennis balls) and they're fresh and fluffy and white again! Glory be. Also, totally unrelated but you seem like someone who would like a terrible story like this. Took my wee ones to our mommy and me yoga class this morning. As everyone was gathering we were commenting on how the building suddenly smelled like rotten garlic dragon breath/old pillows. Without warning, I puked, right there, in front of the yoga class. NAMASTE, Ya'll. Namaste. And you know all those mamas came running at me with their essential oils and pregnancy stories. Moms bond in weird ways. That's all. Happy weekending, Bev!
    • Bev Weidner April 29, 2017 at 5:06 pm #
      YOU REALLY BARFED? I am dying. Thank you for this wonderful story.
  21. Laurie April 28, 2017 at 3:41 pm #
    Go to the Environmental Working Group's web site and check out the safest sunscreens. Some of them have some pretty bad stuff in them. I use Everyday Coconut Face Lotion. Technically speaking, you don't need anything higher than a 30 SPF. Higher numbers do not protect you more and contain things that aren't good for you. Pillow wise, I always buy washable pillows and replace when they deflate a bit.
  22. Megan@Cozy Eats April 28, 2017 at 3:44 pm #
    I use a face lotion from Trader Joe's that has SPF and I like it! It's not greasy and doesn't cost an arm and a leg. Also, go to Homegoods/TJ Maxx for pillows, they have the best deals. :)
  23. Terri April 28, 2017 at 4:01 pm #
  24. Jacquie April 28, 2017 at 5:56 pm #
    Welcome to WI ! Can you name here some.of the cheese factories you will be visiting? There are so many, have fun.
  25. Heather April 28, 2017 at 6:36 pm #
    Coola Cucumber Sunscreen. Light, refreshing and smells amazing! Spendy but worth it!
  26. Shannon April 28, 2017 at 8:44 pm #
    I like Tarte's sunscreen.
  27. Corbie April 29, 2017 at 4:01 pm #
    I second, third, or fourth Elta MD- the stuff is amazing. I get it from my dermatologist but you can buy on line too. I love it because you can put it on before make up and you can't feel it and I also have been known to put in on after makeup too (you know, sun emergencies) and it's fantastic. I've tried almost every suggestion above and Elta is my favorite. Pillows... no clue. Buy a new one today and put a reminder to wash it in a few months :-) Win win. Loved your deep thinking one day thing. So true, so true and remember, we all go through those *spells*. It's life. The question is, did you come out of the spell learning something new about yourself? You did. Another win win plus you encouraged all of us. Happy Weekend!
  28. Terri C April 29, 2017 at 8:53 pm #
    I remember hearing on the news or somewhere that you should replace pillows every two years. How does anyone remember when they bought them?
  29. Emily April 30, 2017 at 6:46 am #
    I use Target brand face moisturizing lotion with SPF 15. I love it! Can we talk arms though? Do people use sunscreen on their arms daily? I'm 32 and noticing that I should probably take care of my arms the same as I do my face. But I don't want to smell like a Coppertone baby all day. Do I just use my face stuff on my arms? What do you do?
  30. Sabrina S. May 3, 2017 at 2:44 pm #
    Go to and purchase Mineral Fusion SPF30 Brush on Sun Defense. It is a tinted mineral powder that comes in a tube with a built in brush. It is so easy to apply, natural, not messy or heavy, and it is very portable. In addition to protecting your skin, it provides a lovely finish. Top that off with the fact that will give you a 20% off coupon.
  31. Stef May 4, 2017 at 7:47 pm #
    Okay, I read every single comment and now actually feel like a turd burglar for making my hub/kids "suffer" (suffer?) with the same pillows for too many (5? 7?) years. am I allowed to even stay in my house anymore? will pillow services put my family in pillow foster care? (too far?) IN MY DEFENSE/CLOSING ARGUMENTS; the ones we have are like $30 EACH cooling gel memory foam pillows from Kohls and I dust them with baking powder/theives oil if I am on top of things and vacuum them monthly... I seriously never even thought people buy new ones that frequently!! now that that's over. I use bare minerals makeup. I am a shmuck for it. But like every product they make, including eye makeup, has at least spf 20 in it and I am happy and ok with that. but according to all of those suggestions im bout to hop over to amazon and read allll bout coola, supergoop, and elta. and also I want to know which one you go with.
    • Stef May 4, 2017 at 7:49 pm #
      SODA. baking soda. what the heck.
  32. Natalie May 11, 2017 at 8:59 am #
    Tried this new Kbeauty one recently and it's great! Super lightweight, no greasy residue, high SPF and doesn't interfere with makeup application. Also isn't a million dollars (though it's a pretty small bottle).
  33. fnaf June 15, 2020 at 5:09 am #
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