Lobster Rolls

Today I’m 40.

Lobster Rolls / Bev Cooks

FORTY. I have no idea what this is supposed to look or feel like, but I just bought myself a birthday tongue scraper and jogging visor, so I feel this is pretty much on target.

(You’re like, “Waaaay too early in the morning for the words tongue scraper, lady.”)

Lobster Rolls / Bev Cooks

Remember when people used to celebrate 40 with black balloons, fake tombstone decor, and grim, over-the-hill party sayings like “prune juice station”, “wrinkle road”, “droopy drive” and “arthritis avenue”? I MISS THE EIGHTIES.

My party sayings would be, “She’s Watching Too Much West Wing”, “Someone Tell Her to Change Out That Dead Eucalyptus”, “When Was the Last Time You Washed Your Hair”, and “You Know Febreezing Your Armpits Doesn’t Count as a Shower.”

I have toddlers, remember?

Lobster Rolls / Bev Cooks

So to celebrate, I made lobster rolls. I’ve been in a massive mood for lobster rolls all year – seriously, all year, so I finally got around to gettin’ some tails (heeeey-o), boilin’ them up, drenchin’ them in a tiny bit of mayo, lemon, butter and chives and slappin’ them in my wrinkle road.

(Also, I will neither confirm nor deny that I icked out a bit over the spiky, spiny tail nail.)

(Also also, I also have something to say about the bun! But I’ll get to that in minute. After I take my arthritis medicine.)

(just kidding it’s a women’s multi-vit.)

(and prune juice.)

Lobster Rolls / Bev Cooks

Okay the buns. I was on a die.hard.mission. to find those squared off, New England-style frankfurter-y buns. But these were as close as I could get, MIDWEST. They’re top-split (which is good), but not totally squared off on the sides like my soul beggeth for. It’s okay, though. I’m still a good person.

These are crazy simple! You boil the tails. You cut the shell off and pull out the meat. You whisk together a little bit of mayo, lemon juice, chives (and finely diced celery if you have it!), and the leeeettle pinch of salt. You melt butter in a pan. You toast the buns in the butter. You pile the lobster meat into each bun. You drizzle more melted butter on top. Another squeeze of lemon juice. You fall into a blissful buttery lobster coma and never recover.

And then you take out your dentures and watch Murder, She Wrote.

Oh I’m totally kidding, you guys!

You watch The Andy Griffith Show.

Lobster Rolls / Bev Cooks

Happy Birthday, me. Now go wash your mop.

Lobster Rolls
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  • 2 (7-8 oz) lobster tails
  • 2 Tbs. real mayonnaise
  • one lemon
  • 1 Tbs. finely chopped chives
  • pinch of salt
  • 4-5 Tbs. butter
  • 4 New England-style buns (if you can find them!)


  1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the lobster tails and simmer at a rolling boil for 4-5 minutes, until the tail is bright pink. Remove the tails and let cool a few minutes. Then snap off the end of the tail, and either push the meat through, or cut the shell (tail nail because I’m gross) with scissors. I cut the tail nail because my meat wouldn’t push through. But just cut up the back and rip that shell right off.
  2. Then give the lobster meat a rough chop.
  3. In a small bowl, whisk together the mayo, juice from half a lemon, the chives and a small pinch of salt. Toss the lobster meat in the mayo and let chill a few minutes while you toast the buns.
  4. Melt 2 Tbs. of butter in a small pan, and place the buns side-down right in the pan. Toast each side in the butter, until golden brown.
  5. Pile the lobster meat into each bun and drizzle with the remaining 2-3 Tbs. of melted butter. Give the rolls an extra squeeze of lemon juice and let your mouth experience something it can’t even rightly understand.
  6. Serves four. (or 2, if you’re obnoxious like me)

Lobster Rolls / Bev Cooks

“He’s her loooobster!” (name that show)




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21 Responses to Lobster Rolls

  1. Kelly August 23, 2016 at 7:16 am #
    Friends! I've never had a lobster roll and it's on my bucket list to head east and get the best one I can find. YUM! Happy Birthday!!
  2. Lisatberry August 23, 2016 at 7:42 am #
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I love lobster rolls and drizzling butter on them is the best.
  3. Anonymous August 23, 2016 at 9:21 am #
    Happy Birthday!
  4. Nikki August 23, 2016 at 10:18 am #
    Happy Birthday!! Mine was last Saturday, but I'm MUCH older than you...by four years. ;) Those lobster rolls look DELICIOUS!!!!
  5. Terri Morris August 23, 2016 at 10:24 am #
    Happy Birthday Bev!! Hey, at least your not featuring a jello salad recipe on this monumental day! That would be oldish for sures. I just bought a tongue scraper (I'm post 39, and that's all I am saying about that) in an effort to stave off what I like to refer to as OM (Old Mouth), and we all know what I'm talking about, don't we? Gotta keep the breath fresh!! I am loving my scraper. Enjoy!
  6. Maknzee August 23, 2016 at 10:24 am #
    These look really easy and I need them in my mouth hole ASAP. Also, happy day of birth! You share birthdays with Kobe Bryant and Rick Springfield! Congratulations. I'm glad you're alive C:
  7. Ellie | Hungry by Nature August 23, 2016 at 10:28 am #
    Making lobster at home intimidates me like whoa. But these actually seem pretty easy to make! Happy 40th Birthday!! And btw, I LOVE following you on insta-stories. You are so funny - can we just be best friends?!
  8. Erin August 23, 2016 at 10:48 am #
    Lol. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You crack me up. I'm turning 41 tomorrow and I have to say...40 is the new 27. I loved this year a ton. So live it up lady! You're gonna love it.
  9. Emily August 23, 2016 at 10:49 am #
    We are birthday twins! But I"m only 39 today. :) Thanks for the recipe- I've been watching it come together on Snapchat, and its inspired me to add it to my to-do list. Hope your day is super fantastic. -EM
  10. Chrissy August 23, 2016 at 1:04 pm #
    Happy Happy Birthday! I've been in a total lobster roll mood as well. As for the buns, Midwest is Best in so many way, but really not all the ways.
  11. Melissa Murphy August 23, 2016 at 2:05 pm #
    I'm 40 too!.....not, sorry just wanted to be part of the gang. For the best lobster rolls you need to come to Point Prim, Prince Edward Island. You get lots of lobster, in the rolls you like, plus some people instantly sprout Anne of Green Gables red braids and develop a hankering (best word ever!) for potatoes as a snack food all while following the island rule of eating lobster in your bathing suit.... Ok, none of that is true except the lobster part. Hmm, am starting to understand the lack of a possee on my end. Happy Birthday!
  12. Laurie August 23, 2016 at 3:12 pm #
    I've seen where you can slice the sides off of a hot dog roll and do the butter thing in the pan. Gets you pretty close to the real thing. Have a wonderful birthday and don't worry about the number. Not having another birthday is the real bummer!
  13. Nancy August 23, 2016 at 3:55 pm #
    Laurie beat me to it but I was going to say the same thing about slicing the sides off and toasting them in butter. That's how they used to serve hot dogs at Howard Johnson's, which really shows my age! I am WAYYY older than you but think you are hilarious. Happy Hilarious Birthday!
  14. Dawn McPherson August 23, 2016 at 5:36 pm #
    Happy Birthday! No way are you 40! Xo
  15. Denise August 23, 2016 at 6:42 pm #
    Happy Happy Birthday!! I am going to have a glass of Rose, or two in your honor and drool over those lobster rolls. Off to buy a tongue scraper too - sounds fun!
  16. Heather August 23, 2016 at 11:23 pm #
    Happy birthday!! You make cooking lobster seem simple, in my head it's so intimidating. Looks delicious (how could it not be!). Oh- ps. I think you would flip over The Night Of on HBO.
  17. Julie August 24, 2016 at 2:29 pm #
    Happy belated b-day! Hope you had a great day!
  18. Heather Kinnaird August 26, 2016 at 4:43 pm #
    40 is fabulous! and friends is the best show ever
  19. Kate September 11, 2016 at 2:16 pm #
    Ahhh! Happy Belated Birthday! You make 40 look real good! Plus, lobster rolls—yes, please!!
  20. kevin December 20, 2017 at 5:36 am #
    worst post. i hate this.
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