Friday Flotsam

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFriday! (yes, I actually just typed the word. Don’t get used to it.)

One of my favorite things in life is misunderstanding song lyrics.

Oh no, not when *I* misread them, but when others do. It’s the very best. For instance, it might come as a surprise to you that we’ve been listening to a lot- and I mean A LOT of Taylor Swift’s newest Midnights. And one of the catchier tunes on the record is Bejeweled. It hooks you. It makes you dance. The video is bizarre and fun. There’s nothing wrong with the song.

But Nat has been singing this line and it gives my life such purpose: “I probably shop real, I probably shop real . . .nice. Nice!”

I was like, “You what, Nat? Sing that again?” Her face turned this light shade of pink and she goes, “I probably shop real nice? Is that not it?”


It will also probably come as a shock to you that I kept my reaction just this side of completely unhinged. She took it well. We laughed a solid.

But what I desperately need to know is – what lyrics have you misheard in your life and do you still sing them that way today just to be a turd? Spill it. I need to know. Misheard lyrics are one life’s greatest treasures.

(for those non-Swifties out there <gasp!> the lyrics are, “I polish up real, I polish up real nice. Nice!”)

Speaking of favorite things, I’m going to a Favorite Things Party with all my mom friends in a couple of weeks. We’re supposed to bring our “favorite thing” as a gift, and we’ll all exchange White Elephant style.

Which – also – is ANOTHER THING I got to introduce my kids to this last week. The whole concept of a White Elephant party. While Aaron probably went to two White Elephant parties in his ENTIRE LIFE, I went to zillions. Every year my parents and their group of friends rotated houses and hosted the parties at Christmas. I even think my youth group (“when it waaaas the ninetiiiiiies” – for those Kevin Thornton fans) had them yearly. All I know is that I’ve been to a White Elephant party or 80 before.

The kids were fascinated by the whole idea. “So like, you can take a lemon?”

“Well yes, but it should be funny. Something like a gag, but a step up.”

“Like a fart?”

“No, not like a fart. And when did you start saying fart? Aaron when did he start saying fart?”

Anyway, I have ideas for my favorite things, but I want to know what would be in YOURS? What would you bring to the party?

Besides silicone nipple covers, Mindy.

Okay, I need hair help.

Yes, again.

I got it done this week (A tad darker for the winter), and my stylist said, “Bev you desperately need a hair oil. Your hair is outrageously dry and you shouldn’t leave the house ever.” <–something like that.

And I was like, “You mean like a serum? I have plenty of seru-!”

“No, a hair oil. Different thing. Something you can put on in the evening before bed so that it moisturizes your hair.”


What is a hair oil. Do you use hair oils? Tell me a good hair oil brand for my stuffing stocker! I mean my stocking stuffer.

Which brings me to…

I can’t get my mouth to say stuff my stockings.

At brunch a while back I kept saying stock my stuffing. But it was right before Thanksgiving so maybe I was mentally in stock stuffing mode. Now that’s it’s December surely I’ll switch over to stuff stocking mode. I mean stockings the stuffings.

No, it’s stuffing the stockings? Stuff in the stocking. Stuffing. We stuff the stock. We stock the stuff?

Never mind.

Weekend plans?

I didn’t intend for today’s photos to look so intensely lushy. Geez. I do drink water!

This weekend is bonkers, in the most fun way. A swimming birthday party tonight (indoors, ya boob!), another USA World Cup game to watch in the morning, our second b-ball game tomorrow afternoon, a mom and daughter wine and hot chocolate party with basically all of the third grade, a sleepover we’re hosting (!), a Girl Scouts event on Sunday and then I’m crashing my friends’ “holiday homes” tour on Sunday afternoon. Aaaand then I plan on sleeping until the Favorite Things party.

This is wearing you out, I can read the room.

From this week! Baked Peppers and Olives with Rosemary and Parm. I can’t wait for you to give this one a go. And your Christmas mixtape! It’s just what you need. Jazzy and festive. Moody but cheerful.

“I probably shop real, I probably shop real . . . nice. Nice!”

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28 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Emily December 2, 2022 at 7:23 am #
    I was 8 when I Swear came out. And for no kidding, 20 years (!) I sang, “I’ll love you with every bean in my heart”. I even told my now husband multiple times that I love him with all of my heartbeans. Still true though. That man has all my heartbeans.
  2. Julia December 2, 2022 at 7:44 am #
    So first of all, I am literally dying over that comment 👆🏻 Heartbeans….I have tears😂😂😂 When I was a kid, I thought the lyrics to David Bowie’s Starman were “….he’d like to come and eat us” when in reality the lyrics are “he’d like to come and MEET us” which is entirely less terrifying.
  3. Kierstin December 2, 2022 at 7:54 am #
    When I was a kid listening to Madonna’s Material Girl - my mom heard me singing along. I was convinced it was “I’m a Cheerio Girl”. Madonna loves her Cheerios and had to sing about it! I’ll never love it down!!
  4. Rae December 2, 2022 at 8:09 am #
    When I was a kid, I thought Janet Jackson’s “Escapde” was about the Ice Capades. I guess that’s exactly what the Ice Capades organization was aiming for with their witty event naming though. Also, heartbeans! So good!
  5. Kelly December 2, 2022 at 8:12 am #
    what is that glorious looking restaurant pictured above? for hair oil - oribe gold dust hair oil or virtue hydrating & heat protecting hair oil (sephora has a sale starting today I think too)
  6. KC December 2, 2022 at 8:27 am #
    I thought that too, Rae! My theory is that the song and the Ice Capade Barbie commercials were in constant rotation at the time. My husband thought 'The Tricky Man Gonna Get You' instead of the rhythm (Gloria Estefan) and it always makes me laugh.
  7. Alicia December 2, 2022 at 8:42 am #
    L’Anzo Healing oil is exactly what you need! It actually heals the hair without leaving it greasy! It’s amazing!
  8. Rachael December 2, 2022 at 8:42 am #
    A younger me thought that Taylor Swifts Blank Space “got a long list of ex-lovers” was “ got Starbucks lovers.” I still can’t unhear it. Hair oil, if you’re looking for cheap, quick, and quality. Hairfood hair oil from target has worked for me. Clean, paraben free, sulfate free, smells nice. Only $12.
    • A Starbucks lover December 6, 2022 at 10:08 am #
      I’m 36 and I thought it was Starbucks lovers until I read this comment, hah. To my defense I’m absolutely definitely NOT a TS fan lol. But still, a bit embarrassing 😅
  9. Susan December 2, 2022 at 8:46 am #
    My hubby thought the Van Halen song was “Maxwell Jump”……actually, dear, they are singing “might as well jump”.🤣🤣 I thought Madonna was singing “Vote”, instead of “Vogue”. I also still sing “I’m not talk in’ about the linens” instead of the actual, but not as funny “I’m not talking’ about moving in” for England Dan & John Ford Coley’s 1970’s hit “I’d Really Love To See You Tonight “. Annnnd , hubby also sings “Gonna stay on the side that Michael’s on” instead of the actual “Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Coosa” on Michael Jackson’s song Wanna Be Startin’ Something. We might need our hearing checked🤣🤣🤣
  10. Laura Lee December 2, 2022 at 9:04 am #
    Feel it still by Portugal The Man. I thought they said "Ooh, I'm the rebel of Poughkeepsie..."
    • Jessica December 2, 2022 at 12:19 pm #
      We have a long list of misheard lyrics it my favorite of all time has to be AC/DC Thunderstruck. My 5 year old swears they say “there were cows all around in the middle of the night” and not “I was caught in the middle of the railroad track”. He kept asking to listen to “that cow song” when he first heard it and I had zero clue what he was asking for until we heard it again in the car. Other faves include “Henry! Rest it!” Instead of “tin roof, rusted” in Love Shack by B52s (we shout this at said 5 year old regularly), and “there’s a baboon on the right” from CCR bad moon rising.
  11. Anonymous December 2, 2022 at 9:53 am #
    I’m hosting a “Favorite Things” brunch for our church ladies. Each lady brings 4 of their favorite things ($20 max for the total of all four), and they walk away with four, different, new items! Each lady puts their name in a basket 4 times and we draw. Super pumped about it. Also…no snatching gifts. No one can take what you chose. This has everyone excited because in the past, this has been a yucky experience for them. Sorry I don’t have an suggestions for funny gifts but it’s a great idea! (Love when you talk about your mom! She’s one of my closest choir director friends!)
  12. Dee @ The Kitchen Snob December 2, 2022 at 10:14 am #
    I'm in my 50s and I recently discovered that Michael Jackson's "Another Part of Me" lyrics were not "You're just another Quartermaine" like the Quartermaines from General Hospital. In my defense, I never knew the title of the song! My husband really got a kick out of that one.
  13. Autumn December 2, 2022 at 10:20 am #
    So the song "rollercoaster of love" I still hear "no me gusta" haha and I refuse to sing it any other way :) ... also I saw the comment above about Material Girl and I did the SAME thing as a kid and thought it was "I'm a Cheerio girl" haha love it!
  14. Jennifer C. December 2, 2022 at 10:39 am #
    I grew up in the 70's and 80's and my friend Tonya and I LOVED Aerosmith! We listened to them non-stop and skipped our junior prom to go to their concert. One day we were riding down the road and she starts singing, "Wheeeeeeeels in motion!" Instead of Sweeeeeet Emotion! Anytime my path crosses with that song, I send her a text letting her know that I'm singing Wheels in Motion!
  15. Sydney December 2, 2022 at 10:50 am #
    In Taylor Swift's "Lover" I heard the lyric as "and you'll save all your dad-est jokes for me...". And I thought it was weird she would mention dad jokes in that song, so I checked. DIRTIEST. Dirty jokes. Not dad jokes. Makes much more sense. I still sing dad-est. For a Favorite Things party I would bring a New Zealand sauvignon blanc, LL Bean wicked good slippers, a purple pillow, the new Louise Penny book, a Yeti water bottle, a perfectly curated girl power running playlist and a box cutter.
  16. Kate December 2, 2022 at 1:58 pm #
    Just here to say I’ve bought Olaplex oil twice. I swear it’s different now and I wouldn’t buy again!
  17. Jessica December 2, 2022 at 3:21 pm #
    Prerequisite to the story: my daughter’s name is Solveig, as in Soul-Vay. My 3 year old daughter and I were listening to “some tunes” a few months ago and “You’re so Vain” came on. Her eyes got really big and she was so excited. “Mom!! They’re saying my name! They’re saying my name!” You’re Solveig, and yes, she truly thinks the song is about her. One of the best moments of my life, I will never forget the look on her face ❤️
  18. Deanna December 2, 2022 at 3:23 pm #
    For some reason St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion) has been my jam this year even though I’ve never seen the movie and had the lyrics completely wrong for at least half the year but would belt them wrong (and differently) every time it came on. It’s summer in my part of the world, and being pregnant, my current favorite things are Jockey skimmies slip shorts. Other favorite things that are less weird to gift are: bowl scrapers, knife protectors (great for picnics/house rentals/moving), extra long charging cables, silicone lids/bowl covers, folding wine glass holding picnic table, and yuzu soda.
  19. Bev December 2, 2022 at 4:36 pm #
    KISS's "Beth" .....I swore when I was younger, they were singing to me. My name is Bev. I can't not hear it every time the song comes on! And also because Christmas is right around the corner, my husband changes the words to Feliz Navidad ....he sings "Felipe's not your dad".
  20. Nicole December 2, 2022 at 6:56 pm #
    Wait.... It Is NOT Starbucks Lovers? OMG!!!!!
  21. Lori December 2, 2022 at 7:55 pm #
    I'm dying because I thought it was star-crossed lovers hahaha. This is hilarious. Just in the last couple of days, I saw the commercial for the Howard Stern interview with Bruce Springsteen where he sings Thunder Road. I always thought it was "Take Home, Thunder Road" and my husband informed me it was "take hold". Um, oops?
  22. Becky December 3, 2022 at 2:27 pm #
    I’m totally singing “Felipe’s not your dad” for now on. When I was little I would sing Whitney Houston “I want to dance with somebody. I want to fill the heap with somebody.”
  23. Mira December 3, 2022 at 6:37 pm #
    Pajamas! Instead of Bob Marleys “we’re jamming’” always sang it as a kid “pajama” wanna pajama with you!
  24. Adri December 3, 2022 at 9:48 pm #
    OMC- How Bizarre How Wuz I, How Wuz I? not until i saw the song title on siruis XM did I realize I was wrong
  25. Ashley December 5, 2022 at 8:00 pm #
    Picture it, Alabama, 1984 - I’m singing the love song from Footloose. “Almost parrot eyes.” “I swear that I can see forever in your eyes…parrot eyes.” I was intensely confused.
  26. Irene December 6, 2022 at 10:12 am #
    As for hair oil, I’m very happy with KÉRASTASE Elixir Ultime L'Huile Originale Hair Oil, I have very fine hair and if doesn’t get icky. I use it in both wet-ish hair for heat protection and in dry hair when it needs it. The Mielle (I think) hair oil with mint and rosemary is also great, and is supposed to help with hair growth too.

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